Surviving: Being in a better place

[demonblaster]

Hi all 🙂
Thought this thread might be of use to talk about your stories if you like and where you're at now.
In a better place.

I have Bipolar, (BP) pretty sure all my life. Wasn't diagnosed, I approached them thinking I have this at age 46.
The ups (mania) are magic, ying and yang (opposites) evident with BP & in many other ways.
The downs, crippling. Still ..but I'm DETERMINED to beat them with time & effort and professional help.One of the psychiatrists said it can't be beaten, I say cause it maybe hasn't been done, doesn't mean it can't be.
Have come an incredibly long way so far.
Long way to go probs but HAS to be sooner rather than later, else this mother of a demon will get me, I live in fear of going under the line again which majority of the time the head goes South but looking back at those times knowing I got through & that it's not always like that helps.
SO many good times, happy times between.

The cycles have gone from Rapid cycling (4 or more a yr) to 8/10 a yr since the loss of my beloved partner of 28yrs to leukaemia.

My teens starting at 14yrs I attempted suicide 4 times.
You're in hell considering, contemplating & ultimately attempting suicide, we're going against our strongest basic instinct. Survival.

Wanted OUT, couldn't see anything but Black in my head, no light, no way out, no other choice, the depression beast had me engulfed as it does most of the time in cycles now too.
Rock bottom. The pits.

I've learnt a lot one thing is it doesn't stay this way.
Sleep's vital. We don't get a lot or quality when down, it affects how we feel usually in a negative way.
Life's so much harder when we're tired and exhausted, we see feel & react to things differently
That part of our brain that works at pulling us down, I think with everyone, not only mental illness or disorders

Self esteem rock bottom, still working at it, it's true we have to like/love ourselves works as a shield.
Great loving good parents lucky

If I'd known in suicide yrs I'd meet a beautiful loving partner and have so much love from family, friends and happiness between the downs, I wouldn't have attempted.

BP downs equate to heavy grieving alone without it on top.It slammed but now I'm looking back and Yes still hurts, always will but we owe it to ourselves to keep going. We don't know whats ahead and nothing stays the same.

I know that now.

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi,

Im just doing a quick call in to wish you a lovely time at lunch today...Oh and course to say Good Morning, Sunshine, I hope you are feeling better then okay today..

Love you Deebi...💜🌹.. enjoy your time with your lovely friend...

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌹 Grandy....

[demonblaster]

You are so sweet thank you both of you darlings. I'll be bbl (out in a tic to reply)

I feel a bit meh but don't want to let it pull me down and want to learn from it. Started slowly posting to newbies again and missed such an obvious thing. I've been waking too Grandy but I think we do that and aren't aware usually so after answering nature I get back to sleep. Think its making me on verge of tears today but should be ok. Just Dahh. Half a brain cell would help pfftt. Community Champs have clues, they're wise. That's what makes them so valuable and have my full respect

😢a bit but ok 😚

[Ggrand]

Hello Sweet Deebi,

Im so really sorry that your a little 😢..I wish I could take those 😢 away and bring you some 😂..I'm here for you hun. No where near community champs, but a lot of love and care to give you my dear friend...Please wear Deendy today..she can help....Deendy and Demonblaster join forces and pow. 💥 [IT] xx to shoo shoo shoof [IT]xx off...Remember good times only hun, flood your thoughts of good times.....💼🍫🔥💄🛵🛴🛒🎈🎁..

Love always and great deep care, 🤗💜..

big looong hard comfy hugs..🤗🤗.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌹Grandy....

[demonblaster]

😀 You are so beautiful, again smiling from ear to ear, 3rd time I read it. Love your fantasy thank you Grandy darling lady. 😀little birdies, cute as. Isn't Deendy great. Oh told and read to my beautiful friend she said you're a really sweet person. You sure are. How lovely dropping in to wish me a nice day, what a gem. Thank you for being such a lovely friend. Had really good day love her very much. Don't think I'll worry about tomoz out not sure. Hope your days been a good one sweety G and that you slept better at my place, you're welcome to stay tonite if you'd like. Love your company and our time ☺😚 Deep love honey 🤗💜🌹💑🍫🤝💗🕊

Hey sweety Mandy and Peps thank you for your visits lovely friends always nice to see you both too. Peps your picnic baskets are devine thanks so much ohhh and jam doughnuts yeah mmmm. 🔭 love mine too ☺

Campfire will be great Mandy sweet, I'm so glad you enjoyed Grandys awesome fantasy Deendy ride, cute eh and Peps yes I'll come in for a dunk too, love being in water 🌹 Hoping you lovely ones are doing ok and lights coming in, you all so deserve.

Loving thoughts and peaceful wishes 🤗🌹👀

🍫 ( fell out of Peps stash )

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi,

Im pleased your day out was a good one ..Awe Thank you for liking your little island visit last night..

My day was okay today Deebi, my elderly friend (Betty) I'll call her, popped in this arvo for a cuppa tea..her ex he lives in town, is in hospital he has nemonia (can't spell it). but he is okay now and improving they are still friends..which I think is good..

Deebi, sweetheart, this morning you were 😢, you haven't mentioned how your feeling now? So I'm going to ask you how are you dear friend?..

Your 🎁 is nearly ready..just need to melt some more of .........then mould it into the shape of .........then polish it, so it shines like a ..........😂. Love you very much..Deebi..💜

Big holding you hugs 🤗.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩💜 Grandy..

[demonblaster]

That's lovely Betty came over, great this week you've had people interaction. It is nice they're still friends.

Pressy sounds good chooks 🌹

At least I had a run of good days. Shame crap has to bring it all tumbling down. It's not easy some stuff hurts.😢

Gunna try and go awol for a bit dunno if it'll happen.

Try and do some stuff or bed down for a bit dunno. Not going tomoz

Cya 😚🌹

[Ggrand]

Deebi, I'll come stay with you tonight I can hear the sadness in your post poor darling

.I'll just sit quietly with you, and I will be quiet.. My shoulders are for your head to rest on and your tears to fall..Let it all out, its a release...Just rest your head on my shoulder and if you feel like talking that's okay because I'm listening to you...love you very much.....💜.. I'm L👀KING out for you tonight, as well as 👂 to you and I'm holding your hand..🤝...Ok I'll be quiet now.. just rest dear friend..My turn to look after you...💜🌹..

kind and caring hugs🤗..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌹Grandy..

[Birdy77]

To the dearest ❤ Deebs ❤ I've ever met,

I am sending so much love your way tonight.

Please accept my 12.7 second blankie to wrap around your shoulders and feel all the love from all your fans here in the weight of its warmth.

Snuggle underneath anither 12.9 minute bedspread and feel comforted with the love and care everyone here feels for you.

You are such an integral part if these forums and we adore you.

🌻birdy xo

[Ggrand]

Hello Special Lady Deebi,

It's a beautiful day here today, I don't know where you are but I'm hoping it's the same...Looks almost a spring day..

I hope you got better sleep last night, with me staying over and Birdys blankly and bedspread to keep us warm..

I made you some breakfast this morning, you lay in bed, I'll bring a tray in to you...it's some porridge, with honey, fruit toast, cup of coffee and a red 🌹Rose made out of red chocolate 🍫 it's edible this one...

I hope your okay, please remember the fun times is r/l or here..Do you know what's making you 😢..only if you want to you said some stuff hurts?

Are you going out for a small walk today..maybe go along the beach, find a fallen tree, sit down, then release those tears if you need to. Maybe just sit and look at the ocean, the waves coming into shore then back out again, it's like the ocean is breathing, the ocean breathes in fresh energy, then breathes out, with the out comes the bad, the seaweed,pieces of plastic, old drift wood, like when we breathe out we say relax, or peace or go away, we are breathing out of problems,..then a breath of fresh air...Breathe with the ocean, look at the waves crashing on shore, listen and watch the sea gulls. feel the salt water, smell the freshness of the air...I don't like to see you down or in this case you hurting..

Please be okay Deebi....I have a Sweet 🍫 , a cute 🐻, and a beautiful 🌹 for you.. because..you are sweet, cute, beautiful...love you very much Deebi.. Special long hard hugs,🤗 for you my special friend.. You gave me some before, and they really are special and make you feel loved and cared for..

I'm not going anywhere today, I will be here for you today if you want to talk....or just want to sit quietly...I'll be here..

Kind and caring hugs. 🤗.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌹Grandy....xx

[Ggrand]

Hello Sweet Deebi,

Shoo beasty away hun, shoo...shoo...shooof off...I hope your okay, I really do..

Dont listen to beasty, Think happy thoughts, the more you can try to put your good memories into your thoughts the more beasty runs away..please keep trying... 🔥 🐉

ahhhh darling, here let me give you some of your special looong hard comfy hugs..🤗....Love you deeply lovely Deebi..💜🍃..

I'll stay at yours tonight we can sit under the stars with our blankies and your nice crocheted shawl, Kaula and Tia Maria we can talk or we can sit in silence, or talk to me Deebi...Don't keep it bottled up inside you... that's what here's for....(no pressure)...Please be okay..😳...

Just in case you didn't cook dinner, I cooked this arvo and made a yummy roast, I bought with me to yours..some..Roast meat, with crispy 🥔 potatoes, fluffy inside, some slightly burnt 🎃 pumpkin, roasted carrots and zucchini, with a nice peppery gravy...

Do you remember our emoji?, if it's to hard to talk Sweetheart please use them so I know....🌹👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩💜🦄..

Please Sleep good tonight, the more sleep you get the better you feel quicker..😚...I'm so hoping tomorrow you will feel better...I'm here if you need me tonight...I'm not going anywhere...I can't we are 🤝 Super glued together..My eyes 👀 are on you tonight my ears are open and listening..our hands are glued..and I have your cloud soft towel to wipe away your tears. 💦....always here for you,

Warm and caring hugs 🤗🤗🤗.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩💜Grandy..