Surviving: Being in a better place

[demonblaster]

Hi all 🙂
Thought this thread might be of use to talk about your stories if you like and where you're at now.
In a better place.

I have Bipolar, (BP) pretty sure all my life. Wasn't diagnosed, I approached them thinking I have this at age 46.
The ups (mania) are magic, ying and yang (opposites) evident with BP & in many other ways.
The downs, crippling. Still ..but I'm DETERMINED to beat them with time & effort and professional help.One of the psychiatrists said it can't be beaten, I say cause it maybe hasn't been done, doesn't mean it can't be.
Have come an incredibly long way so far.
Long way to go probs but HAS to be sooner rather than later, else this mother of a demon will get me, I live in fear of going under the line again which majority of the time the head goes South but looking back at those times knowing I got through & that it's not always like that helps.
SO many good times, happy times between.

The cycles have gone from Rapid cycling (4 or more a yr) to 8/10 a yr since the loss of my beloved partner of 28yrs to leukaemia.

My teens starting at 14yrs I attempted suicide 4 times.
You're in hell considering, contemplating & ultimately attempting suicide, we're going against our strongest basic instinct. Survival.

Wanted OUT, couldn't see anything but Black in my head, no light, no way out, no other choice, the depression beast had me engulfed as it does most of the time in cycles now too.
Rock bottom. The pits.

I've learnt a lot one thing is it doesn't stay this way.
Sleep's vital. We don't get a lot or quality when down, it affects how we feel usually in a negative way.
Life's so much harder when we're tired and exhausted, we see feel & react to things differently
That part of our brain that works at pulling us down, I think with everyone, not only mental illness or disorders

Self esteem rock bottom, still working at it, it's true we have to like/love ourselves works as a shield.
Great loving good parents lucky

If I'd known in suicide yrs I'd meet a beautiful loving partner and have so much love from family, friends and happiness between the downs, I wouldn't have attempted.

BP downs equate to heavy grieving alone without it on top.It slammed but now I'm looking back and Yes still hurts, always will but we owe it to ourselves to keep going. We don't know whats ahead and nothing stays the same.

I know that now.

[Guest8901]

Hello to my lovely bright rainbow smiley faced Deebs. I've always loved your profile pic.

Now ... whats this about you not going on your exercise bike tour again today? Naughty .. naughty! You know its good for you, and it shouldnt hurt any of your existing injuries. 🚴 Deebs, I left a spare key to my place for you on Karen's thread. Welcome anytime. I have an exercise bike on my back deck, we can encourage each other to use it. 🤣 Good for the pair of us.

Sounds like we have been getting similar weather to what you have been. Its been wet here again today too. Wouldnt it be nice to just send some out West to those who so desperately need some rain. I'd be happy to share! 😀

Its so hard to miss loved ones isnt it? I'm sure you will always miss your darling. Thats pretty normal, you just dont stop missing them or loving them. But there is always room for others, love still to be shared. Being alone is hard if you're used to being with someone. Now I think I'm losing it, rambling. Best finish.

Really just wanted to touch base and let you know that I am always watching and listening, despite not being able to talk very often. Always worry and care for you though. 🤗 🌹

Mandy 💜

[Peppermintbach]

Hi DB (and a wave to all),

I’m happy to hear you seem to be benefiting from resting and recharging 🙂 Hopefully, you’ll soon be on your walking adventures again...

Grandy is a clever one especially when it comes to finding choccies. Lol.

Big warm super soul hugs from your top student,

Pepstar xoxo

[Ggrand]

Good morning Deebi..... 🙋 &🤗 To everyone,

Yes poor Ellie, she will be good as new very soon..I'm pleased you 🤣 When you listen to my posts..I will work out a way to open it. Well I hope I will..

Yes my neighbor yelled at me, about my 🐶 🐶..geez I only just moved in that week...hmmmm, shame because she lives alone as well..

Thank for staying at mine last night..when you were asleep I borrowed your 🛴..and went to the shop and got you some..🥝🍏🍉..for a fruit salad....goes good your 🛴 I got my 🔨 🔧 🛠 and made it super powered for you so be careful when you scoot around to mine and other levies places..

Blood test on Tuesday morning, I'll go before work, then hopefully we know what kind of infection they are trying to fight off, or if it's the thyroid gland...

No I didn't go out for a walk Deebi...I will again, I'm uncomfortable going outside again... the 2 big dogs scared me, when they started to run towards me, luckily I was only just around the corner from mine... I remembered when I was chased by big dogs, so I'm scared to walk now...

I do see, her at least once a fortnight, sometimes more..She will ring me when her great grandchildren visit, for me to go down, I have known them for a few years and I love them all, they call me Aunty....all girls..2...5....12yrs...They don't visit much, a few times a year..They haven't been this year because my friend has been sick, but she's okay now...

I hope you get some more sleep special dear friend..Was thinking about you a lot last night, How lucky I am that I met you and your in my life...Love you very much..💜....I have a few more ideas as to how to open that 🎁.. lol..your such a beautiful person Deebi.....

I'm over the page, I forget what our beautiful and gentle Peppy said. But I do remember something about a yummy picnic basket...Will be back later to Maybe take a sneaky peepy, looky...😁😂😅🤣..Love you guys..💜💜🌹..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩💜Grandy..

[demonblaster]

Hi lovely thanks for dropping sweety and I know you're struggling darlin 🤗

It's bright and vibrant isn't it, love the smileys from way back ☺

Yes I've noticed we have similar weather, here's usually gorgeous days. Would be nice if they got it where it's needed.

Yes that's right we never stop missing or loving lost loves and agree it stays. Loves important it keeps us going, gives us purpose. True plenty to share ☺

Yes would love to encourage eachother for the 🚴‍♀️ I think about it umpteen times and nada, been in bed long time today, not down just slacko.

Mandy thank you darlin it's so comforting you listen and worry that goes same for you darlin always 😙

I really appreciate you dear friend and what you say I always find very comforting. You're another beautiful person in my life, I'm very lucky 💗🤗 💜🌹

Peppy (how cute is that) Same goes for you dear friend another beautiful soul.

Hope your weekends good hun and that you start on the Rd to recovery.

Yeah hun we're gunna have to keep our 👀 on our Grandy. Mental note, must stash gorgeous picnic basket till tonight 😆. You're a sweety 🤗☘

You loves take really good care of yourselves 🌹

Thank you

oh and Mandy I believe this is yours 🐜 😅😚

[demonblaster]

Hi beautiful you keep at it lovey it's really entertaining 👀 😂. So is Ellie at the podiatrist 😆

😤.. Don't like your neighbour or anyone who's not nice to my Grandy 💗

Thank you darl loved the 🥝🍏🍉 yeah I copied too. Yum. Wow 🛴 sure is super powered. Embarrassing being on my botty watching it take off ahead of me. Zoom Zoom. You're not bad with the 🛠🔨🔧are you.

Mines Weds. Hope it's not thyroid but they can do a lot these days. Poor hun you've been sick a while now. Don't worry sweet 👩‍🍳 Nurse Deebis with you 💑

Understandable with the dogs, I'm scared of them too. Poor thing that'd be frightening poor darling 🤗 Maybe you could drive somewhere and change of scenery be stimulating too I'd think but being crook you may not be up to.

How lovely with your friend and when Grandies visit. Good to hear she's better, remember you saying she wasn't well.

You're a beautiful person too Grandy thank you. I'm so glad we met 😊 Love you and our time very much 🤗💜💗🌹

😅Gunna try a sneaky peeky aye, yeah well good luck with that 😂

Thanks I'm not down but went back bed for ages just usual doing nothing but ok. Needed that lot of people time and love. Helped through last episode maybe why mixed episode dunno.

Hope you're continuing to keep beasty on other side of 🚪 clever girl. Think of our good times and happy thoughts hun each time 🌈🌟🚜🛴🤗

Thanks honey 😚

[startingnew]

DB 💜 🌷 💌 🍫 🌻 🍉

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi,

It's a shame about my neighbour Deebi, because we could be there for each other I know she's single by herself same as me nice to have a cuppa sometimes..

Thank you nurse Debbie you been looking after me very well making me hot lemon and honey tea and porridge in the morning and 🍫 from the hole in your pocket..

I spent most of the day in bed not down, I just feel to do nothing no motivation anyway.. I had a good rest today and Lord of the rings is on tonight so I can watch it without falling asleep.

Poor Ellie the 🐘 she has a very sore foot, the podiatrist wrapped it up in a big sheet, because her foot is too big for a bandage and It has to stay there for a month..

Ah Deebi, I laughed out loud 😅 I could just see you sitting on the ground and looking at the 🛴 as it's still taking off up the street... I'm so sorry I hope you didn't hurt yourself..

It's been overcast here all day not one little tiny drop of rain has fallen....tomorrow there forecasting sunshine. I forget what rain looks like I think..

Good idea to drive somewhere else to walk, but I don't know just new areas make me feel scared and frightened, this it gets me so angry 😡sometimes because I can't do what other people do easily..

i'm trying really hard to keep beasty on the other side of that door I'm not gonna let him in for as long as I can. The fun times we have honey love it ❤️ love you too more than you know. Without here, without you especially you and others here, I have no reason, Deebi, you give me light care love laughter something to look forward to every day reading your posts and having fun...

Thank you Deebi, thank you for everything I mean really thank you...oops getting emotional now doesn't take much... i'm okay and I will be 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🍫🌹..

I promise I'll be a good girl and not have a sneaky peeky looky 👀 in the basket.. you don't have to hide the basket I pwoomish I won't look.

Be okay please Deebi, look after yourself always..

Peppy, I can smell chocolate a mile away so they be drops one I pick it up and give it to another lovely around here if I don't eat it first. Peppy thank you very very very much for that yummy picnic basket... Deebi and Amanda will have to excersise 🚴 it all off 😰..I don't have a 🚴 so I'm okay.😁..

Love you Deebi..💜🌹👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩........🎁😇..🎩..

Kind and warm hugs, 🤗🤗.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌹Grandy..

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi,

I sent a post around 6ish, not landed..yet..🤦‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

[demonblaster]

Ok sweety hey you ok, that little girl looks sad. I'll come to yours

[demonblaster]

Hey sweety thanks calling in hun and leaving those lovely gifts 🌹🤗😚🍫