Surviving: Being in a better place

[demonblaster]

Hi all 🙂
Thought this thread might be of use to talk about your stories if you like and where you're at now.
In a better place.

I have Bipolar, (BP) pretty sure all my life. Wasn't diagnosed, I approached them thinking I have this at age 46.
The ups (mania) are magic, ying and yang (opposites) evident with BP & in many other ways.
The downs, crippling. Still ..but I'm DETERMINED to beat them with time & effort and professional help.One of the psychiatrists said it can't be beaten, I say cause it maybe hasn't been done, doesn't mean it can't be.
Have come an incredibly long way so far.
Long way to go probs but HAS to be sooner rather than later, else this mother of a demon will get me, I live in fear of going under the line again which majority of the time the head goes South but looking back at those times knowing I got through & that it's not always like that helps.
SO many good times, happy times between.

The cycles have gone from Rapid cycling (4 or more a yr) to 8/10 a yr since the loss of my beloved partner of 28yrs to leukaemia.

My teens starting at 14yrs I attempted suicide 4 times.
You're in hell considering, contemplating & ultimately attempting suicide, we're going against our strongest basic instinct. Survival.

Wanted OUT, couldn't see anything but Black in my head, no light, no way out, no other choice, the depression beast had me engulfed as it does most of the time in cycles now too.
Rock bottom. The pits.

I've learnt a lot one thing is it doesn't stay this way.
Sleep's vital. We don't get a lot or quality when down, it affects how we feel usually in a negative way.
Life's so much harder when we're tired and exhausted, we see feel & react to things differently
That part of our brain that works at pulling us down, I think with everyone, not only mental illness or disorders

Self esteem rock bottom, still working at it, it's true we have to like/love ourselves works as a shield.
Great loving good parents lucky

If I'd known in suicide yrs I'd meet a beautiful loving partner and have so much love from family, friends and happiness between the downs, I wouldn't have attempted.

BP downs equate to heavy grieving alone without it on top.It slammed but now I'm looking back and Yes still hurts, always will but we owe it to ourselves to keep going. We don't know whats ahead and nothing stays the same.

I know that now.

[demonblaster]

😂 you crack me up Grandy, such great friendship as our beautiful Pepstar alias Peppy (love that) said. Sure is hun 🤗

💣.. 😎 now we're talking. IT's got a cold from when I shoo shooed it outside HUH!

How beautiful you saying loving us both, you're so precious I really love you 💜🌹

I usually wear joggers to walk with but otherwise flat shoes same as you.

mmm MH better by far now thanks so much for asking. Been waking with down thoughts tho quite often lately well they wake me but counteracting. I'm trying to think positives but ...it's day to day Grandy. Had the constant people contact for the last 3wks or so, slowing down a bit now. Helped. But need to read and do! things. Grr

Hope you're feeling brighter today lovely one ☺💑 Think about you a lot too Grandy 🌹💜 Thank you always for being here for me and being you 💗

Dear Pepstar hiya lovely and thank you too my dear friend ☺ Just the one foot lovey yes it's annoying, want to be walking and tt, think Starts mentioned an excerise bike, best I do too.

Thanks re Skype ☺ havent rung new psych yet must and get blood tests done too.Very sweet of you with 🍫 yes of course I'll give Grandy a bite 😂 😨 nah I'll share with my sweety 😄 and would you like one too.

Hope you're travelling well hun, I'll pop over later today dear friend 🤗 superrr souls 🏅

Take good care lovely friends and thank you again ⚘🌴

[Ggrand]

Hello my super special friend,

I hope your day was good and you had some light shining through you today...but Deebi, you are a light to so many..

Biggest Morning tea, for here is 28/6....the lady my elderly friend I'll call her Betty, she is not going , she is going shopping in the next town, which takes all day....I will try to go but so many people, and strangers..I don't think I can go....I wish I wasn't me sometimes.....maybe just a donation? I don't know 🤷🏻‍♀️..

My special lady friend..Thank you for 🍫.. . I will enjoy it tonight.. Peppy is so sweet giving you some chocolate to share with me and others..I melted mine down and dipped some strawberries 🍓 into the melted liquid..yummy big time Deebi.. I hope you and Peppy like chocolate 🍫& 🍓..

No didn't sleep this afternoon. minds to much awake. 😂..

I am naughty a little tonight..I made us deep fried spicy chicken wings, with potatoes gems...and after for desert some green jelly and some custard...I hope you like our dinner tonight..After we eat at mine maybe we go over to yours tonight and stay there...I need to get out of here..my place is yucky now. It feels cold, no ornaments. I'm pleased I didn't throw away my wind chimes...I have 8 hanging over the top of kitchen bench, from the ceiling...when a slight breeze comes through the window or doors, it's a calming sound as they tingle..,. I'll bring a couple over with me , we can hang them on your balcony as we watch the stars ✨ tonight..💜

I hope you sleep good tonight Deebi, and tomorrow you wake up with the sun shining through your window and the birds chirping happily and take away those dreadful negatives on waking...Do you have a calming or funny picture that you can hang up so when you wake up it's the first thing you see..then beasty can choof off for the day...

Hoping tomorrow is a really good day for you..are you going out tomorrow,? Sorry honey not nosey, just know you like company and concern for you...

Love you Deebi. 💜🤗..Oh ..I'll find away to open 🎁..I just put my thinking 🎩 on..😁😂..

Sweet dreams, 🤗🤗🌹.

🙋 to all the other special lovelies hugs as well 🤗🤗..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌹Grandy.

[demonblaster]

☺ you give me light dear friend 🤗

Thank you for being so lovely Grandy oh tea sounds devine, that'd be lovely coming over to mine but the ✨ arent as good here as yours but it'll be lovely anyway chatting.

Shame Bettys not going, sounds like a job shopping where you are. It would be hard but you'd probs know some people and could be another good challenge but if you feel too anxious I don't want you getting upset though. do what feels right lovey 💜

The chimes sound lovely Grandy, glad too you didnt choof them, be nice to hear them good on you. Raining quite hard here we may have to take the 🚜😁

Oh yum 🍓&🍫mmmm devine. Peps is a sweety.

I read your poem today hun, it was sad don't like you being alone. 🤝 you'll always have me even when I 😷

uh oh no 😴 R U Ok? Hows the glands too? Did you pack blanky.

Yeah I'll try to think of something funny.

No plans for tomoz. I never mind you asking, you're so caring I'd tell you anything dear G friend 🌹

Must hop on excercise bike tomoz Grandy hardly walked lately. Did for a bit but dont wanna aggravate foot. Damn one thing after another at least they're improving.

😄 you're goin to have to really work that thinking 🎩 😂 😁 loven your attempts 😂 you're a classic darl love ya to bits 💜🤝💗

Thanks Grandy ☺🌹

[Sapphire_]

Hello lovely Deebi

Thinking of you. ❤

Just gonna leave this here 🍰🍒🌹

💙sapphire

[Peppermintbach]

Hi wonderful DB (and a wave to all),

I’m pleased that your mood is improving despite the rough mornings. I’ve often heard that mornings, especially when we first wake up, is hard for a lot of people with mental health issues...

Maybe taking it easy after your socialising extravaganza will be a nice way to recharge. Forever the popular one lol 🙂

Sorry, thanks for clarifying that it’s just the one sore Achilles. I suppose better one than two. It’s awful how it limits your activity, sigh, but hopefully you’ll be alright on the exercise bike.

I’m glad you’re sharing your choccies with Grandy and us all. What a generous and kind friend you are...speaking of Grandy, your 🍫 🍓 sounds divine. Yes please! Thank you 🙂

Super soul hugs from my soul to yours...

Peppy/Pepstar xoxo

[startingnew]

Hi SL

Im still here for you too even when im quiet. Im still reading along.

Hope todays a good one for you too. Love and hugs and 🍫🍩

Hello to everyone here too xox

[Ggrand]

Hello special Deebi,

Knock...knock.....l 🚪 Hello lovely Deebi, I hope your day is a good one today, yesterday I done heaps, today opposite. Today headachy, probs from not drinking enough water and not sleeping enough... so I think I will try to open that 🎁..I thought how about I get Ellie 🐘 To stomp on it...nah didn't work, poor Ellie hurt her foot..ok ill put my thinking 🎩.back on.. try again later 🤔🙄..

Geez I wish it would rain here...I'll stand out in the rain if it does...our dam is only 32% full...not really good...probs when the rain comes it will flood us out....

Its a nice day here a bit windy but I'm in a t shirt, it's more like early autumn here, days beautiful but nights cold..

Gland are sore..but I really don't care anymore, I'm trying to ignore them and keep as busy as I can.....Maybe a walk this arvo..prob now is there are stray dogs that roam the area, and I'm scared of big dogs..

Have fun on your excersise 🚴, that's something that I should think about later on..

Thank you Deebi for saying I will always have you even if your 😷..that's so sweet..Ditto to you hun..always here for you...Yeah Deebi, I'm constantly lonely, but somedays and mostly nights I 😭 a lot because of it..I try to be strong but hard sometimes...

I have been totally on my own now for 6 weeks, neighbour has been away, Even though she yells and talks loud to her chickens, ducks and doggie,its a bit of people noise, now nothing no noise....

im rambling on about nothing I know but I don't know just needed to say hello, and let you know I care about you my special friend..also meant to let you know, not being body or anything, if you can avoid those really flat shoes with a very thin sole, it will help you, because they have no arc support..

.Love you very much Deebi.💜🌹..Please be okay and have a good day.

🙋 to all the other lovely people here, 🤗.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌹Grandy..xx

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi and all..

Posted earlier. Must be busy 🛴at the mail will land later 🛬....💜💜💜..

[demonblaster]

Hey sweety Sapphire lovely to see you and how sweet leaving those yummies 💙 thanks for dropping in hun ☺🤗

Dear Pepstar 🤗 hi sweet yes it is actually a good thing recharging. Missing walking and keep trying to jump on excercise bike, battle in the head. Need to. Interesting about mornings being hard. Happy to say today was ok, not a nice way to wake.

😁 Yes sharings good and I see our Grandy has her methods of finding them mmm must revisit drawing board.

Beautiful warm soul 🤗 thanks Peppy 😊back atcha hun

My SLD and thank you too popping in lovely and yum what lovely pressies you bring. Thanks darlin 🤗

Ok sweety Grandy I'll keep an 👁 out 🤗

🕊 to you all beautiful people

[demonblaster]

☺🤗 Always love your visits, talk as much a you like lovey, love our chats.

Ohh poor 🐘 Elly hurting her foot, oh dear what 😁 will you think of next 🤣 you crack me up. Wanna see my smile 😀 reading your posts. And you move me often lovely one 🍃

Sounds rough no rain there Grandy. Be so good when it does. Neighbour doesn't sound very friendly she went crook on you a while back 😤 if I remember

Awful you being alone sweety. So glad you're being so brave and going out to darts. Think I'll stay a yours tonight, arghh your headaches still there damn. Don't like your glands still hurting either 👩‍🍳 nurse Deebi's going to look after you tonight if that's ok I'll just fuel our 🛴 and be over in a jiffy

Hope you enjoyed your curry the other day

Thank you Grandy you are always here for me I appreciate you so much ⚘and care so much about you too, I think about you and please Grandy you be ok too dear friend 🦄

Oops and again I didnt go on 🚴‍♀️ geesh I'm missing walking and so need to excercise. Funny you mentioning a walk I was going to ask you if you've been but didnt.

Was raining last night and this morning here, you need it and then sun came out. Magic here Grandy. Paradise. Love it

Hear you about nights hun they're hard aren't they. I miss my darling so much but starting to get use to being in my own company. Lucky I have times with friends otherwise it'd be harder

Do you see your nice elderly friend very often darl maybe you could have a coffee sometimes and that nice lady from darts sometime in the future I hope you have some time with her too Don't want you being alone 🤗

Love you my sweety loving friend 💜🤝💗 hope you have a lovely peaceful sleep. If you're a good girl I might open your pressy but it's such fun you trying 😂 you're such a treasure 😚☺