Surviving: Being in a better place

[demonblaster]

Hi all 🙂
Thought this thread might be of use to talk about your stories if you like and where you're at now.
In a better place.

I have Bipolar, (BP) pretty sure all my life. Wasn't diagnosed, I approached them thinking I have this at age 46.
The ups (mania) are magic, ying and yang (opposites) evident with BP & in many other ways.
The downs, crippling. Still ..but I'm DETERMINED to beat them with time & effort and professional help.One of the psychiatrists said it can't be beaten, I say cause it maybe hasn't been done, doesn't mean it can't be.
Have come an incredibly long way so far.
Long way to go probs but HAS to be sooner rather than later, else this mother of a demon will get me, I live in fear of going under the line again which majority of the time the head goes South but looking back at those times knowing I got through & that it's not always like that helps.
SO many good times, happy times between.

The cycles have gone from Rapid cycling (4 or more a yr) to 8/10 a yr since the loss of my beloved partner of 28yrs to leukaemia.

My teens starting at 14yrs I attempted suicide 4 times.
You're in hell considering, contemplating & ultimately attempting suicide, we're going against our strongest basic instinct. Survival.

Wanted OUT, couldn't see anything but Black in my head, no light, no way out, no other choice, the depression beast had me engulfed as it does most of the time in cycles now too.
Rock bottom. The pits.

I've learnt a lot one thing is it doesn't stay this way.
Sleep's vital. We don't get a lot or quality when down, it affects how we feel usually in a negative way.
Life's so much harder when we're tired and exhausted, we see feel & react to things differently
That part of our brain that works at pulling us down, I think with everyone, not only mental illness or disorders

Self esteem rock bottom, still working at it, it's true we have to like/love ourselves works as a shield.
Great loving good parents lucky

If I'd known in suicide yrs I'd meet a beautiful loving partner and have so much love from family, friends and happiness between the downs, I wouldn't have attempted.

BP downs equate to heavy grieving alone without it on top.It slammed but now I'm looking back and Yes still hurts, always will but we owe it to ourselves to keep going. We don't know whats ahead and nothing stays the same.

I know that now.

[Ggrand]

Good Moring Deebi, I'm like how you put beasty outside last night, i hope the cold air put beasty's 🔥 out and he froze and it will take [IT] xx forever to unfreeze..

Glands are still sore only when I move in a certain way..gp tomorrow that's taken over 2 months to see her since I first rang her sick....

You give me my determination I take it from you and your words, before I met you I didn't care. You gave me hope...💜And I'm still hanging on to it...🌹..

I hope you wake up with some happies surrounding your beautiful ❤️.....Its a beautiful sunny here but cool....You deserve the best Deebi.. Maybe sit on your Patio, rug up under your favourite blanky, and have a cuppa listening to mother natures beautiful creatures. 🎶.

Thank You for caring so much Deebi, your care for me brings tears to my eyes sometimes....🌹..I will Deebi, lemon teas are yummy with lemon in it..kiwi fruit one of my favourites...

Please be okay Deebi, I hope your day is a good one for you....love you 😚....

💜&🤗. .

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩💜Grandy..

🙋 hello all the other lovelies..🌹 I hope your day is a good one..

[startingnew]

Hi SL

Just popping in to let you know im thinking of you and hoping todays a good one for you. 💌💜🍩🍦🍫🍫

[Sapphire_]

Heya Deebi.

Sorry i havent been here for awhie. My brain isnt functioning too well lately. Any way just popped in to say hello and let you know i been thinking of you and care.

I hope today is good to you.

💙💙Sapphire xx

[demonblaster]

Hi Sweets thanks as always for your kindness and ongoing support 🤗 Peps you have a good heart dear friend 🕊

Yes it is a nuisance the archilles and I haven't done much walking, oops massaged it with other foot...lets just say it wasn't grateful at all.

Still can't play tt, been mths now. Grrr at least I hear the niumbers are picking up again. Hey

Had a lovely full day with a beautiful friend today she's a real sweetheart love her very much 💑 Tomoz lunch (takeaways) with another I love very much too, thanks to you good people I've been reconnecting with friends/family and meeting new ones. Yesterdays one saved my mood was so glad that was unexpected. Love her a lot too. Good people in my life here too 🌹

Grandy ya gorgeous, talking about love 💑 Hope tomorrow you get some answers for your glands, way too long.

You too give me so much love care and hope, thank you for your beautiful comments hun 😙

Yes I love Kiwi fruit too. They're also called Chinese gooseberries. I like them a bit firm, got some today.

Always wishing happiness for you friend, you bring me so much and light. Love you sweety heart 💜💗🌹✨

Darling SLD, always lovely seeing you too and oh my what lovely treats you bought with you. Very kind, would you like a nice coffee or no you're a tea girl. Thanks sweety 🤗💗🌹

Dear Sapphire, no problem at all. Always lovely to see you too, no pressure tho lovey honestly. Thank you for thinking about me too. Awful when our heads South it's hard to see light but it is there darlin and you'll see it again. Be gentle with yourself and look for positives lovey. You'll get through and we're right by your side all thevway even if I'm quiet I still care very much about you all 🌹💙🐧

Thanks so much lovely ones, feeling good atm 🤗

Grandy you be ok honey 💡🕊 All of you for that matter.

[Guest8901]

Dear Deebs.

Quick post. Been reading along, just not talking much lately 🙊

So good to hear of your good and full day today. Sounds like another one tomorrow.

Lovely to hear you sounding (overall) more positive the last few days.

Did you start the ADs yet? Just wondering if you've noticed any changes to mood or anything else.

Sending all my love.🌹

Mandy 💜

[demonblaster]

Hi sweety girl thank you popping in I know you're doing it hard 🤗 care so much about you 💗

No lovey waiting to have a psych skype with my doc and psychiatrist sometime near future I imagine. Don't want to Mandy but it's just too bloody hard so guess I have to.

Thanks so much for your support pet

🤗💜🌹

[Ggrand]

Good Night Deebi,

..I like that you had a full day with lovely friend, and tomorrow take away..yummy..I love fish n chips, fish cocktails or hamburger, it's really sad now, the nearest takeaway 30 kilometres, by the time I get home with them..all yucky...soggy cold..I hope you have a good day tomorrow as well...You deserve peace and happies so much..I can only imagine but I think you bring light to a lot of lovely people in r/l..like you do to me....Oh how good is it your tt is picking up in Numbers....yay..happy about that because I know how much it means to you..

Deebi...tch...tch...uh..uh...where is your bottle or 🎾 tennis ball, Oh honey, please do what Drs tell you to..I had constant pain for over 4 years.... so many tears on walking or standing...it's gone now maybe 12 months but still I can feel sometimes, I will straight away do excercises..

Deebi, it is to "bloody hard" I will agree with you...I wish I could take your pain away...help you more...help Amanda more..and Starts..Peppy...Sapphire...Everyone...beasty s has got to go...He has to have a weak spot...he finds our weak spot and slowly sneaks in and begins to grow...We have to find that same spot he sneaked in then we choof..shoo..it away ..We can do it...well I hope we can..

I hope you all have a good day tomorrow.. Thank you Deebi..for being the sweet kind person you are..Love you 💜🌹..

Sleep well all you Special lovelies out their..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩💜Grandy..xx

[demonblaster]

Always a pleasure seeing you my dear friend.

Yes lovey I've been doing excercises but havent done the bottle yet I will tho.

What lovely things you say 💗

Yes we'll find IT's soft spot as it finds ours. We are strong too and it's good damned Good but we're better!

So glad yours backed off, wow long time hun. Good you get onto it. Stopping me walking lately.

Thanks re tt. Geez one day I'll get back.

Love you very much Grandy, really appreciate you so much. 🤗🌹💜🤝🍫

Gotta choof beauties 🤗🍫🕊

[Ggrand]

Good Night dearest Deebi🦄..

Im pleased you had outs with a lovely friend today, even a couple of hours with a dear friend is a special and treasured couple of hours...and I'm so very pleased you slept this afternoon...Im really 😥 sorry about your archillis, Do you wear those super flat shoes that has very thin soles or thongs, even slippers if there flat and close to the ground, they are what caused mine..

Please be okay Deebi, how is your mental health, are you still having episodes or have you evened out now? R U Ok?.I think about you a lot through my days...🌹💜.

Oh Deebi...I searched really hard in my 💼...I was looking for something to open up the 🎁 you gave me,mthat only you can open....I found a 🚌 bus, and tried to run over it, but nope didn't open..I picked it up with a 🏗crane..then dropped it onto a ⚓️..nope still won't open...I'm thinking what else can I try....then I got a 💡 idea...I will try to bribe you with 🍫....then I decided against that idea..So then I put everything 🚌🏗⚓️🍫🎁 back into my 💼...and am now umm...distracting myself by writing this post✉️ out to you...oooh...ooh..look what I just found...💣....we could blast beasty with that...kinda like Demonblaster.....loving you both very much precious friend....👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌹..

I hope you sleep good tonight, with some really special dreams that gives you a beautiful peace for tomorrow..you so much deserve happiness and joy in your life every single day....

Good Night all You special lovelies reading..Please be kind to yourselves because you are all very important people.💜🌹..I hope you like hugs..🤗🤗. They make you feel loved and special,,so hugs to everyone who wants one...

Love you very much Deebi, my special friend,Please never change who you are..🌹💜..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩💜Grandy.....xx

[Peppermintbach]

Hi lovely DB and all,

Oh thank you, DB 🙂 You’re a wonderful friend yourself...

I’m happy to hear that reconnecting with friends and family plus meeting some new people is helping to lift your mood. You certainly have been very popular with all your lunches this week. Lucky you 🙂

It’s a shame about your Achilles as I know you must be missing table tennis and your long walks. Ow, that sounds painful...so 2 sore feet now?

Hopefully your Skype appointments are okay...I know you’re not exactly looking forward to them...

Sending (even) more choccies your way. Make sure you share some with Grandy and our other friends 😉

Super soul hugs,

Pepper xoxo