Surviving: Being in a better place

[demonblaster]

Hi all 🙂
Thought this thread might be of use to talk about your stories if you like and where you're at now.
In a better place.

I have Bipolar, (BP) pretty sure all my life. Wasn't diagnosed, I approached them thinking I have this at age 46.
The ups (mania) are magic, ying and yang (opposites) evident with BP & in many other ways.
The downs, crippling. Still ..but I'm DETERMINED to beat them with time & effort and professional help.One of the psychiatrists said it can't be beaten, I say cause it maybe hasn't been done, doesn't mean it can't be.
Have come an incredibly long way so far.
Long way to go probs but HAS to be sooner rather than later, else this mother of a demon will get me, I live in fear of going under the line again which majority of the time the head goes South but looking back at those times knowing I got through & that it's not always like that helps.
SO many good times, happy times between.

The cycles have gone from Rapid cycling (4 or more a yr) to 8/10 a yr since the loss of my beloved partner of 28yrs to leukaemia.

My teens starting at 14yrs I attempted suicide 4 times.
You're in hell considering, contemplating & ultimately attempting suicide, we're going against our strongest basic instinct. Survival.

Wanted OUT, couldn't see anything but Black in my head, no light, no way out, no other choice, the depression beast had me engulfed as it does most of the time in cycles now too.
Rock bottom. The pits.

I've learnt a lot one thing is it doesn't stay this way.
Sleep's vital. We don't get a lot or quality when down, it affects how we feel usually in a negative way.
Life's so much harder when we're tired and exhausted, we see feel & react to things differently
That part of our brain that works at pulling us down, I think with everyone, not only mental illness or disorders

Self esteem rock bottom, still working at it, it's true we have to like/love ourselves works as a shield.
Great loving good parents lucky

If I'd known in suicide yrs I'd meet a beautiful loving partner and have so much love from family, friends and happiness between the downs, I wouldn't have attempted.

BP downs equate to heavy grieving alone without it on top.It slammed but now I'm looking back and Yes still hurts, always will but we owe it to ourselves to keep going. We don't know whats ahead and nothing stays the same.

I know that now.

[demonblaster]

💜💗🌹 Ohhhhh what a shame, hear you about time, it in my deep it takes an age. I LOVE our time an we go to so many levels. You're a treat lady. My darling sent me here to this amazing plac and to you. Honestly I don't know where I'd be if it wasnt for you beautiful people here an rl. Dagh tablet gremlins making it near impossible to type, I find ways around it. Feeling good atmthanks love oh I best get ready

Love darlin 💜🌹🙋‍♀️💑 and other beautifuls 😊

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi,

Yeah, I think the page open to long and internet connection went off here a bit..does that from time to time..😢..

I hope you enjoyed your outing with your 3 lovelys ..🌹🌹🌹🌹..A rose each to put on your 👚....

I love hearing your feeling good..☺️🙃, your 🦄 Special friend...love you..

🙋..hello..

L&C,

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌹Grandy.. xx

[Doolhof]

Hi Everyone,

Deebi, thanks for making another suggestion to Rainforest, unless I am actually doing the process I get confused how to explain it to people!

Rainforest hope you have managed to start a new thread. You are certainly welcome to chat here and elsewhere on the forum.

Everyone Else sending you all greetings and hope that your day is going okay.

Yesterday I had a great chat with my Dr. He deserves a huge medal and a gold star! An open chat with my sister this morning was helpful also. Especially around my study, future work placement in a home for the elderly and past physical and emotional trauma in the last old folks home I worked in possibly affecting how I am feeling withal of this.

Awareness and the decision to make changes is what counts right!

Deebi, I am off to cut the strings on all the yo yos I can find and am going to get a bulldozer to flatten a few roller coasters! Anyone want to help me?

Hope you all find ways to deal with your issues!

Cheers from Dools

[startingnew]

DB 💜🌷💌🍫🌈

[demonblaster]

You're such a sweety Grandy 😗 thankyou darlin. A friend slightly mis communicated so I landed there and got a text saying no ones going 😆 all good did a little shop and bussed back home, slept about 4 hrs, awake at times. Needed it wasnt going to go last night but woke early so did. Friend thats struggling was looking forward to it. No stress coulda stayed in bed though.Do hope you're doing a bit better lovely friend 💜💑🌹🦄 big love

Doolsy thanks popping in, its just that I've been reading other responses for newbies ☺ thanks darl.

Yes same my docs great too. Love and trust him. Lovely bloke.

Good your chat with sis, and you're working through your demons. Brave lady. I'm sorry you had grief previously. I am concerned for your physical health tho hopefully you can get lighter duties or another section.

Haha loven the string cutting and bulldozer..lets go..vroom vroom ⛟ best I could on short notice 😊

Thanks Dools 🤗 always care and appreciate you 🌹

Yes Rainforest you're more than welcome to join in here or anywhere 🌹 Hope you're finding your way around ok ☺

Hi Sweety Starts thank you darlin you too are a sweety 🤗😚 wish you'd start getting a break. Go easy love 🌹🦋

[Ggrand]

Good Morning special friend,

Awe honey, I'm sorry that miscommunication went on yesterday, I hope you wasn't to upset, although you did some shopping and bussed home, you were out and that's good...

It's a beautiful morning where I am this morning and I am sitting out on my veranda in the sun greeting warmed up..,I started thinking of you and I'm hoping you have some sunshine in your day outside I hope the sun is glowing for you......and well I know your heart and soul are both full of sunshine...,

Not sure if you have an outs today with g/ and mh worker, if you do I hope you enjoy yourself, if not well take this time to care for you...sit on your patio when the sus shining there, with a cuppa and maybe listen to the beautiful chirpings of your lovely birds...

How are you feeling lovely Deebi? How's your feet, arm n shoulders? How is your mental health? Remember I love you Deebi and I'm here if ever you need me...

I hope your day is a good day Deebi, and better then yesterday..

Love you Deebi,

🙋 to all the special people reading....

Kind thoughts and sunshine 🤗🤗 hugs..everyone..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌹Grandy....xx

[demonblaster]

Dear Grandy thank you so much I know you mean it when you say you're always here for me. You're such a lovely friend 🌹

Everything else has settled thanks for asking 💜 except archilles, haven't done a lot walking lately but doing some excercises doc told me. When I do walk I go carefully. Hurts on stuffin hills 🤐

You're so caring Grandy and so good to me. Thought I was back to normal, again woke to a barrage of negatives. Over this rot! Worked on positives but it's horrible waking to that. Friend we went for a blat omg she bought me a pkt of tobacco, didnt ask she just got it Wow. Kind aye. Went to her sisters who seems brighter which is good. Phew. Rearranged with MH bloke, didnt want my own company or now for that matter just home. Had couple drinks. Was a good day. Why won't IT leave! I'm so glad to be in process of getting help, holding onto that. So a good day then blaghh thought I was coming good damn it. Might work on fantasy to get my head elsewhere.

You're not doing so well either are you sweet 🤗 we hold eachother up. We ARE going to get on top of this G we have to. I feel like it's swamping me. Don't like you being down lovey, care so much about you. Think of our ✨ times and talking 🤝 I've got you darlin. Think about you often 🕊

Tomoz after other stuff I love, friend 💑 taking me to lunch. Magic friends. When I can I do back.

Grandy beasty has to shoo..go on shoo

Got 3 more Pumpkins to make more soup. Gave some to her sis but had watered them down too much still yum was the stock oops. I prefer thick soups. Friend had some when it was thick much better.

You be alright Grandy. Hate you're so alone, but never here you're so loved beautiful lady

Your 💜 & soul radiates 💡

Love you ☺ thank you for the birdy thoughts and you 😚🎈🍫

🌹

Hey SLD on Grandys thread lol I got confused and checked which thread I was on. All good sweet 🤗

[Ggrand]

Dearest Deebi I'm pleased that your back arm has settled, that was so bad..Hopefully your foot will heal soon...if you can try to build the arc up in your inner soles, it helped me, maybe it might help you as well...

Your still in rapid cycling but not so rapid, if you know what I mean..hopefully your leaving that behind you soon and going into normal..I reallly hope so honey, hate you up then down..if your like me great disappointment on waking with negativity on our minds..but we have to let it go, pick up some positives, look around when you get up and find something in your room that gives you a warmth in your heart, maybe a special ornament or wall hanging...please try sweetheart..

How nice was that of your friend, she must love you a lot.. I'm pleased you had a good day today....

I don't why beasty won't leave us alone..There has to be a way. I know there is...

We do hold each other up and I love you so much for that, your really special and kind and caring to me ..Beasty has to shooo away...I'm not liking him at all...we will get on top Deebi and stay their..we will conquer the beasty..🎗.

yummy 🎃🎃🎃pumpkin soup..I'm going to try next week again..I got chicken curry and 🍚 rice...2 nights...

Deebi please you be okay...I'm fine...

I like winter better then summer, but it's too cold to sleep outside now, but I do go and look before bed...

Love you Deebi, 💜🌹

Yummy thank you for the chockie, and one of your love and hug balloons 🎈.. Will use them tonight..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌹Grandy..

[demonblaster]

You're so sweet Grandy so supportive 🤗 you give me 🕊 and 💡

We will get on top hun we have to. This isn't how it's sposed to be. I'm still tired which might be the prob. Not feeling as glum now. Had shower, meal, watching tv has all put beasty to bed. IT⚘ can stay out in the cold.

I remember you doing your arches, very clever lady ☺lovely today friend had mentioned arches too, reminded me of you.

Worried about your glands. How are they?

Loven you're sounding more determined to get on top, something I've always been impressed about with you. One of many 😚

Ditto not a heat lover, so nice rugging up. Gorgeous days. Get plenty of Vit C into you lovey, lemons, kiwi fruit citrus to ward off more colds ok precious 🎈

Goodnight sweety friend. Thank you always Grandy. Love you 💜🌹

Take really good care beautiful 🐣

[Peppermintbach]

Hi wonderful DB and all,

I’m glad you were sharing the choccies with Grandy. It must have been nice to munch on them under the stars. You have such a beautiful friendship 🙂

It must be disappointing to not be able to go on too many walks lately. I know how much they help lift your mood and settle your throughts. Hopefully your Achilles heals soon. Gentle and easy does it...

You sound like you’re struggling again yet you’re beautiful spirit and determination still shines. You’re a truly inspiring soul to me 🙂

Love, choccie bars (free delivery) and super soul hugs,

Pepper xoxo