Relationship worries (from a person who worries a lot!)...is he losing interest?

[livm88]

I'm in my first ever relationship (he is too), that started at the end of July this year (so a bit over 4 months now). He's 25, i'm 28. It started out very strong, he really pursued me (asked me out, arranged all the dates, called and texted me every day, including selfies and funny pics, we'd have 30 min phone conversations). After two months we even went away together during the week for the night (which was great).

Everything seemed so romantic then, but not long after this he got a second job, working 7 days a week with the two jobs (including early mornings and nights). He has admitted he loves to work and if he has free time he will find work to do because he doesn't like the way he thinks/his mind wanders if he does nothing.

So I started to adapt to this, and not expect as many calls/communication etc. We still see each other at least 2-3 times a week, sometimes even 5 times on odd weeks. We usually go somewhere to walk and eat pizza, like the beach (which I like), then Saturday night might spend the night at one of each other's houses.

We seem to move pretty quickly with everything, including his suggestion that I could live with him. The problem with this is, he lives with two Indian couples (he is Indian also), they're all from the same region, and while they can speak ok English, when i'm there I feel he doesn't make enough effort to speak English, and it makes me uncomfortable, sitting in silence while they rattle off in their language (which is not Hindi.....so learning that would be practically pointless, even though they do know it). I've told him a few times how I feel and this is why i'm not sure about moving in with him, but his response is always that I have to learn Hindi then it will be much easier and that I have to try things to know if they'll work or not.

A similar issue has been occurring lately though...many times when he asks me out, he later sends a message after i've said yes that one of the couples are coming too. Last time this happened, the three of them all spoke in their language most of the time, only speaking token remarks or questions in English to me. I was most annoyed by my boyfriend, who I felt ignored by that day. Also, while we're alone but in public, he packs on the PDA, but when we're with this couple he backs off (even though they're openly affectionate).

He seems to love me, when we're together he shares everything, but I'm starting to wonder if he's begun taking me for granted?

Thanks a lot 🙂

[livm88]

Hi Anony,

Sucks about his trip! Maybe he would have had a better time if you were there 🙂

Ahh yeah the weather.....I have to adjust to that (by making myself do it at 5am, or 7pm....no excuses lol). And my dad wants to have a go at tennis again, we're going to make sure we do it when he's back from work!!! Must admit.....really looking forward to some cooler weather, everything takes less effort then 😛

I went ahead and booked a trip, i'm going next week to Bangkok! Compared flights to different destinations, and Bangkok was only $50 more than KL! And to be honest looks more exciting (although will be missing the selection of Indian cuisine haha...but I love Thai food too).

Thanks for having faith in me 🙂 I'm trying hard to realise I made the best decision (and i'm hoping with time....it will be clearer!).

Olivia

[Anony18]

Hi Olivia

Sure sucks and am sure if he was with me he would have a better time 😉 haha. The good thing is that he doesn't seem as pissed off and have a massive rant like he did 6 months ago and get extremely down about it. At least it doesn't seem so from his text. Hopefully he be back really soon. Miss him like crazy.

That is great that you have your dad to play with you. Haha cooler weather is good but then when it is too cold makes you lazy. I know i make excuses at times - hot or cold =p But sometimes you just got to be motivated!

Yay! Bangkok here Olivia comes!!!! Bangkok has amazing food. If you can go and get some probiotics for the tummy. Word of advice - eat lots of street food - it is sooo cheap but if your tummy isn't use to eating in such environment you may get sick. Also if you are petite like the Thai people, the shopping is amazing and cheap. They don't allow you to try and it is all "free size". The free size generally fits someone who is a size 8, maybe 10. And also generally shorter people. Good quality though. Go to platinum mall - think that is what it is called.

It is weird I am so excited that you are going on a trip?! I will sure miss you on this forums for the days you are away. And am sure in time you will realise that the choices you have made were the right ones. It is hard now but with time am sure it will be clearer 😃

Anony

[livm88]

Hi Anony,

Yes i'm sure it would have been a better trip if you were there 🙂 That's good he's not feeling as bad as the last time. I guess it's sometimes hard to tell from texts 😛

I'm really looking forward to it!!! I happen to be somewhere between a size 8 and 10 (depends on the brand), but yes I am short (5'2") haha so it should be easy to find something that fits! I've also been wanting to stock up on shirts/blouses but haven't because they're so damn expensive here! So hopefully I can leave Bangkok with a few 🙂 As for the food, well I ate mostly street food in Penang a few years ago, luckily I didn't catch anything or feel sick ever. And everywhere I go I like to compare their Indian restaurants to ours here 😛 lol hopefully cheaper! So far Singapore and Penang had the best.

I'm going to go crazy with photos too 😛 Mostly bad ones lol

I might have a few forum days on the way and way back haha.....i've got a 6hr layover on the way at Singapore (but night time so no time to visit the city!), and a 10hr layover on the way back!!! Same problem, the train to the city doesn't run until about 6:30am (if I remember correctly), but my flights not until 1:00pm same day! So I might be able to spend a few hours there.

And no I don't think it's weird being excited about someone else's trip 😄 I always am lol

Olivia

[Anony18]

Hi Olivia

Yes I know. I don't really like texting as much cause it is hard to tell tone and it is rather impersonal. Phone calls are ok but of course I prefer face to face. I just texted him if he can come to my work ball mid March. Am hoping he can make it.

Oh that be perfect and buy maxi dresses! So cheap - $10 and you can even try to bargain. Make sure you bring cash to pay. That is the below link. You can spend 1-2 days in there as it is massive.

Shoes are also cheap like $4 for flats but note they aren't the best quality so after a few wears you probably chuck them away. But the clothes are great. I didn't buy alot of dresses cause I am 5'7" and as for tops was hard as I have broad shoulders. Bought work pants in size XL! Though could have probably gone for an L but they are my "fat" pants now. I am a size 10.

You are going to enjoy the food. They are so cheap, cheaper than Singapore, and so amazing. Singapore is always open! If you like to venture out - just go to Marina Bay - Gardens by the Bay and you can walk around. The domes of course won't be open but the gardens are beautiful. Definitely look to get a cab - they aren't expensive or even uber it if need be. But Singapore airport - T3 is amazing to just stay there. So much to do.

Anony

[livm88]

Hi Anony,

Sounds great! Can't wait.....times going fast today (it's usually a long wait to head off to the airport! This time...about 4 hours away!). Can you believe I haven't even packed yet? (i'm about to haha). Taking a small suitcase which seems to be the exact measurements for Scoot (hope 5mm over on one dimension is ok!).

Wondering if i'm crazy going on a trip with the last of my money 😄 but I should get another shift when I return (at least 2 shifts a month! maybe more next month if lucky), and today i've just applied for Austudy, which will be processed if approved my mid March. Fingers crossed i'm eligible (at $80 pay a fortnight.....must be!!!).

Yes I was thinking cash would be the best way to go, I have to pay for the hostel in cash. Really, flights and hostel are the main expenses for this trip. I'm hoping to spend no more than $30 a day outside this! (so if I can, $150 in total for 5 days!). On most trips, I skip a lot of touristy things/sights by pretty much walking everywhere (like almost 8hrs a day!) but i'm willing to pay any entry fee for the Grand Palace and reclining Buddha (i'm just assuming you've seen these 😛 )

The main purchase I might make is a cheapish pair of shoes and a few shirts.

That would be nice if he could go to your work ball! Fingers crossed 🙂 I agree with the face to face (well most of the time....sometimes I can say more via text 😛 ).

Olivia

[Anony18]

Hi Olivia

Tried sending the below a couple days ago but the forum was down. But here goes 🙂

Are you flying off today? If so, safe flight! Also it sure does sound like you living on the edge =p

Well I don't think it is crazy especially given you probably need this well-deserved break. Money is something you can come back and make back up again whereas a holiday is once in a lifetime. And believe you said you haven't been on one for a while. I have my fingers crossed for you that you get the funds you want. Some form of cash is always a nice relief.

I think you be able survive in Bangkok on that. Just make sure you keep your bags in the front of you and close to you. Hug it tight if you have to as you don't want to get robbed. Mum got her backpack cut open and lost her belongings a while back. She did not even know or realise it til too late. When I was there I didn't see alot of those sights. Mainly was eating, drinking and shopping. Went a bit out of Platinum area to go to an outside market. Cannot remember the name but it was good.

Face to face obviously make it harder to say the things you want to say but you can see that person's expression. And plus he/she cannot avoid the topic.

Anony

[livm88]

Hi Anony 🙂

Just got back from Bangkok last night, it was great!!! Very different to anywhere i've been! (although closest was probably Penang....yet still quite different!).

I really enjoyed the culture 🙂 Food was great, although I ate something bad one day (should have known when the kitchen was in a separate building across from the street side dining area!) so had a little food poisoning. It was that or....earlier in the morning I ate some fried bananas from a stall that in hindsight was quite dirty looking haha. That kind of ruined the eating side of things for me, I was afraid and unsure what to eat in case it happened again (which it did two days later, but the second time I think it was because I ate an omelette, and for some reason that way of eating egg has never agreed with me, also might have been still recovering from the first lot!).

But I had some delicious Pad Thai from apparently the best in Bangkok ('Thipsamai'). Huge queue every day from opening time (like....30 people!). And I loved the sour lemongrass soup. Favourite thing though- Thai Milk tea!!! I drank three serves at the hostel cafe one day haha.

I was not far from one of the main piers, so caught the ferry nearly every day towards the malls- CentralWorld was definitely my favourite! I could spend hours there lol. Shame the clothes are Western prices 😛 There was a 'Japan Expo' going on over the weekend too, so I caught a few J-Pop acts- quite funny actually 😄 The fans are really crazy lol.

Of course I went to many temples, but by the last day I couldn't part with what I had left for the two main temples (What Pho, and can't remember the other one.....with a large Buddha). Apparently quite expensive, and crowded! But what I did most is walk and take (terrible lol) photos which always makes up for not having much to spend!

On my way home, I stopped in Singapore for a few hours as I had a 10hr layover, I just rode the MRT here and there and walked all around the Marina Bay area and Clarke Quay (got there when it was still dark, quite relaxing with less people around).

Flying is always the worst part of travel for me, not because of the usual reasons like cramped spaces/boredom etc....but because I always have terrible sinus problems! I think i've given myself an infection now. Good news is, i've been able to use this and recent food poisoning as reason to postpone my Police physical that was meant to be next Monday! They've given me an extra month to prepare!

Olivia

[Anony18]

Hi Olivia

That is great to hear about your trip. Food poisoning isn't great but at least the food was yummy enough that you enjoyed it before the poisoning.

Great thing you have another month to prepare. Gives you more time. I don't mind flying other than the difficulty in sleeping and sometimes when it is a long flight and you just want to get off and to your destination already.

How does it feel to be back to Perth weather?! You missed out on our rains last week. And how are you going today, with it being Valentine's and all?

Anony

[livm88]

Hi Anony 🙂

Yes getting off the plane is the best bit haha. Interestingly, I haven't minded any of the long haul flights i've done (with Qatar usually), probably because it's during the night, the lights are dim, there's in flight entertainment haha. Daytime with Scoot or Tiger= HELL lol. The air seems more stuffy on these flights.

Yeah i'm relieved to have another month, i'm going to do my first serious bit of preparation tonight! Plus, the fact i've got so much free time, i'm going to use it to do it twice a day. I've also discovered we get three attempts at the physical before we have to wait 12 months and reapply (and i'm pretty sure the recruitment lady I spoke to said not on the same day!).

As for yesterday, I just treated it like another day 😛 Plus, for me it's always been my sister in Melbourne's birthday, so I focused on that 🙂 How was your day? Is your bf back?

Olivia

[Anony18]

Hi Olivia

Oh how I hate TIger. It is so cramped. Scoot is relatively ok. Of course the non-budget airplanes are best given inflight and more comfy. Emirates been my favourite. I am currently looking into South Korea end of June for about a week. I already somewhat looked and am just seeing over next month if there will be deals/drop in prices. Air asia is the cheapest but SQ & Cathay is not far off by $200. I rather pay the extra for comfort than anything. Am hoping the prices don't increase though as that could mean I won't go and I really do need this holiday. Found past year and bit of not travelling to somewhere other than Singapore does take a toll on my mentally. Makes me down for some reason. I love Singapore and my family but cause am from there you seen the place and done that so no real adventure....if it makes sense.

How did you prep go last night? The weather been humid but pretty good. That is good you get 3 tries but hopefully you get through after the 1st try. Forgot to ask if your appointment with the psych went well.

Oh it is my middle nephews birthday but he is in Singapore. My day was ok. Got asked to fill in for tennis so had fun doing that. Bf isn't back and not sure when he be back. I been busy that have yet to message him. He isn't the type to generally message first but i will give him the fact that when i message he replies within couple days (which is an improvement since the chat we had back in beginning December).

Will message him soon and tell him i will put his name down for my work ball in mid March as need to give the names by Monday. I hope he does come! I did mention to him in a text couple weeks ago but he didn't reply to that so will take his silence as he is coming =p I would say he would come unless he is out of country given that he knows it is important to me.

Anony