Really struggling

[Saree_p]

Hi All,

This is the first time I have ever tried to use a forum. I simply don't know what else to do.

Atm I have a lot of memories, images, voices from past experiences resurfacing. On top of work environment that can trigger these. I simply can not take it anymore and cope. All I want to do is make everything stop.

I have been sitting with suicide for a while now, and I am tired of fighting it. I feel like I have exhausted all my options, I am wondering if anyone has any advice.

I have started the process of seeking help, however it'll take months to organise. On top of this I can't exactly share what's going on etc.

Sorry

[Jojo100]

Dear Saree

My heart goes out to you as you are really doing it tough atm. Sorry to hear you now have flu symptoms on top of everything else.

Sophie has given very sound advice about ringing the help lines or if things become really desperate to ring 000.

Since you are off work this week try and make yourself as comfortable as possible. Perhaps try using essential oils such as lavender for headaches and drink herbal teas to keep your fluids up and soothe your busy mind. Above all be kind to yourself.

Are you able to eat properly, as that is important too? Try and eat your favourite foods even if it is only a small portion. Tasty hot soup can also keep your strength up.

I’m not sure why your mind is still racing since you are on medication. That’s something you will need to sort out with your psychiatrist and GP. Please let them know how you are doing asap.

It sounds like you are perhaps a bit run down. Do you take any vitamins or supplements? If not it might be worth considering as they can help to boost your immune system.

Keep in touch when you feel up to it. You are not alone. Everyone has a purpose even if they don’t know what that is. I think your purpose is definitely helping and supporting people, which you do very well through your work. So you are very much needed which means there is every reason for you to keep on going. Don’t give in to the negative thoughts in your head as they are not true.

Sending you a great big hug and some yummy food xox

Take extra care of yourself at this time. With lots of love Jojo 🌼🤗🥣

[Saree_p]

Hey Jojo,

My babies are gone - they went to a new home on Sunday. Just after I was released from hospital, I had to come home and say goodbye. I barely got too to Cosmo and Cisco clung to me.... absolutely gutted. Not coping. Each day is worse and worse. The house feels empty, work doesn't matter - I don't want to be there.

What's the point Jojo?

I tried reaching out to my psychologist - who normally will respond, but guess she is busy. I'm so tired fo arguing. and now my babies are gone. Just what's the point.

Yet I should be happy and ecstatic. and I'm the complete opposite.

[Sophie_M]

Hi Saree_p,

We are so sorry to hear that you are not doing too well right now and struggling with being alone. We can image that this is not what you wanted or needed after coming out of hospital. An empty house can be very challenging to deal with we sorry to hear that each day is getting worse. 

We have contacted you privately to offer you support. Please remember that there are other supports for you as well. 

We would strongly urge that in overwhelming moments you get in touch with our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467). 

If you would like some help finding mental health support, we would recommend that you get in contact with the Beyond Blue Support Service. They are available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 1pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport  One of our friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and can offer support, advice and referrals. 

You are not alone and we are all here to help you. It's so great that you are here being vulnerable with us and we are here to listen. 

[Jojo100]

Dear Saree

I’m so sorry to hear you have been in hospital as I know how difficult that is for you. Also to have your pets rehomed is a double blow and must make it extremely hard for you to cope and adjust. Why did you have to part with them?

I wish there was something I could do that would make you feel better, but it is going to take time for you to grieve your loss so please hang in there.

Keep reaching out for support as you don’t have to go through this alone. Use the numbers Sophie has mentioned if you feel up to it.

Although what you are going through is extremely difficult it will make you stronger and more resilient, though it probably doesn’t feel like right now.

I’m assuming your pets have gone to a good home so please try and take some comfort from that.

Keep fighting Saree, for better times and better health. You can get through this. You are stronger than you think xox.

With lots of love and a great big hug Jojo 🌼🤗👋

[Saree_p]

Sorry Sophie & Jojo,

There is just no hope.

An attempt later and hospital followed by a release. Just need to make it final.

Jojo, my partner couldn't cope with the kittens. He just kept exploding every couple of weeks due to the mess and couldn't cope.

I'm trying to be ok with then being rehomed, but they were what I turned to. Now shit is the worst it's even been and yeah.

I've even given up trying to go to work. There j

Is just no point anymore to even trying.

[Sophie_M]

Hi Saree_p, 

We are concerned about you and will be reaching out privately to check-in. We are here for you and you don't have to go through this alone. These feelings are incredibly difficult and we would really like to be able to speak to you about how they are impacting you and what we can do to help you manage them. 

Please call us on 1300 22 4636. 

If you don't feel safe, this is an emergenecy and you should call 000 straight away. 

We look forward to hearing back from you if you feel comfortable, you are an important part of this community.

Kind regards, 
Sophie M 

[Jojo100]

Dear Saree

I’m really sorry things are so bleak for you right now. Please don’t do anything ‘final’ as you are important and needed in this world, and I would be devastated if anything were to happen to you.

Is there any way you could make a compromise and get a different type of pet such as a rabbit? They are supposed to be quite smart and soft and cuddly.

It’s okay to take some time off work until you are feeling stronger and more able to cope.

Sophie is contacting you so please respond so she knows you are safe. I have never known anyone as resilient as you Saree. This is another bump in the road along life’s highway, but I just know you will overcome it as you have done over the last few years.

As long as your heart is still beating and air in your lungs there is still hope. You are young and have endured many hardships, but you are also an over comer. You are like a limpet on a rock never giving up and able to hold on so please don’t give up now.

I have said this before, but will say it again: Don’t give up don’t give in. Be kind to yourself and allow time to grieve for your loss.

With my kindest thoughts, lots of love Jojo 🌼🤗🐇

[Saree_p]

Sorry Jojo,

I'm trying to be ok but I'm just not.

I keep trying to hold onto the positives but my brain just fights.

I've surrender going to work.... wonder if lost my job now. But then don't care.

I honestly don't think I'll make it past tomorrow. I don't think I can

[Sophie_M]

Hi Saree_P,

Thanks for reaching out tonight, it's great to hear from you. 

We're sorry to hear life continues to send obstacles your way. We know this must be so difficult. Please know that our Support Service is attempting to contact you privately. 

[Jojo100]

Dear Saree

Please keep fighting and holding on. I am here for you tonight. I have known you for a couple of years now and I am so proud of how you have conducted yourself through all the hardships you have endured. You are so strong and courageous.

You are a really special lady and are needed in this world especially in these difficult times. You have a place and a purpose. So please, dear friend, keep going. Take one night at a time followed by one day at a time. Put one step in front of the other taking time in bite size amounts. Don’t think too far ahead.

Keep reaching out and talking, don’t be alone through this hellish time. I am happy to sit with you tonight if that would be helpful.

You are in my thoughts and prayers. With all my love and support Jojo 🌼🤗🐉