Really struggling

[Saree_p]

Hi All,

This is the first time I have ever tried to use a forum. I simply don't know what else to do.

Atm I have a lot of memories, images, voices from past experiences resurfacing. On top of work environment that can trigger these. I simply can not take it anymore and cope. All I want to do is make everything stop.

I have been sitting with suicide for a while now, and I am tired of fighting it. I feel like I have exhausted all my options, I am wondering if anyone has any advice.

I have started the process of seeking help, however it'll take months to organise. On top of this I can't exactly share what's going on etc.

Sorry

[Saree_p]

I did post a response, I hope it gets through n explains my choice. I am sorry

[Jojo100]

Dear Saree

Don’t be sorry. Your post hasn’t come through yet so I presume you used the ‘s’ word? I am still here listening. Talk to me. I will sit with you all night if needed. Please don’t give up xox

Jojo

[Saree_p]

Oh. I had not quite twigged to that Jojo, Sorry

Its honestly ok. I am not sure how getting to the morning will change anything.
Have you been here before?
I am sitting here n decided but then checked into make sure i wasn't gonna leave anyone unanswered n saw ur post

[Jojo100]

Dear Saree

Yes I have been there - sat on the floor crying and frightened. I had just about given up hope of getting help. Fortunately where I was sitting was next to the phone and a phone book. I just happened to open it at the beginning and found the crisis care numbers.

I rang Lifeline and they talked me through the worst night of my life. I did agree to go to hospital which was completely my own decision - and from there found my way again with help from community mental health services.

This doesn’t mean you need to go to hospital, but at least with Lifeline you can take the mask off and be more open than at a one on one appointment.

It is worth getting through the night as sometimes things don’t seem so heavy the next day so try and get some rest xox

Jojo

[Saree_p]

Sorry jojo
What would you do if you were me? I have literally been told multiple times there is no help or change
How do you not give in?

I'm sorry I really am I am not sure of out of habit last week, but my phone has been comfort so I keep checking it sorry

[Jojo100]

Dear Saree

If I were you I would probably take time off work and go into hospital. However, I realise that is not an option for you.

Therefore, I would go to see another GP asap. I would not show them any paperwork from the hospital. I would tell them I have PTSD and need a mental health plan. Keep it simple.

Would you be able to pay for a private psychologist or counsellor? That is another option, but not everyone can afford to do that.

Jojo

[Saree_p]

Jono,
Id agree with u about hospital, and despite the srnsrly issues I felt safe, but I couldn't cope with the noise and then I couldn't hide it from everyone.

I don't know if I can again. I have been trying for months, I've been told if I was s I would do it. I've then copped hospital because I shut down. I've then been told to deal with on own n then I can't be helped.
.I'm sorry. I can't think straight n I have never trusted my judgement so I seek others advice. I'm sorry for this. I really am

[Jojo100]

Dear Saree

It’s okay you don’t have to keep apologising. You must be exhausted. why don’t you try and make yourself a nice hot drink and get to bed? Do you have work in the morning?

However, I am happy to talk longer if that’s what you need?

Jojo

[Saree_p]

U don't have to work. Thank God, been awake for now 32 hours I think. But u have a massive assignment due that I event written. N I just can't.
It's ok sleep Jojo. I really am sorry. I did half prep for this outc olme, it was in the extent of medication stockpile.
N it's early in morning. I'm just sitting here, I know I am dissociating so sorry for losing time.
I just want this to stop

[Jojo100]

I’m still here Saree. I don’t have to be anywhere tomorrow so can talk some more. You need to get some sleep tho as 32 hours is not good. Will you go to bed soon? I would leave the assignment for now until tomorrow? You’ve done enough for today.

Jojo