Not in a good space

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

It's like a feeling just bubbling up to the surface. It's panicky and disgusting and I dont' know what to do with it. There's no thoughts associated with it. It's a feeling. A really gross one. I called the Suicide Call Back service. I didn't find them helpful. What do you do? What helps you?

[Paw Prints]

Hello Katy,

How are you lass? Your Grandma sounds like she was fun, I have a soft spot for feisty oldies.

I'm guessing your Uni holidays have started as I see mention of beach time. I was going to ask how are you going with playing mind games with Storm, but if the weather has been nice over there I can see why you would be getting out & about to the beach instead.

Nail clipping is not going well here, I just have to pick the clippers up & all paws disappear from view. He still knows even when he is asleep & snoring, so I can't even sneak up on him.

Sending you hugs & belly rubs to Storm

Paws

[calmseeker]

Hello Katy - How is life going on that hamster wheel?! I hope you are doing ok? CS 🙂

[Hanna3]

Hi Katy,

I looked up that website you gave me for tenants and they do have a branch for this area in NSW so I'm going to give them a ring - thanks so much for that help!

How are you going - have you finished all the Uni essays and assignments so you can relax for a while? It's been quite hot here lately, which is a bit weird for this time of year but it's been lovely to have the sunshine.

Katy, do you see a GP there for anything and do you get bulk billed (ie. Medicare only) or do you pay up front? Because I've just realised by GP in coastal town (who was lovely) charged everyone Medicare only, but here they are all fee-paying practices, which is why I'm getting such lousy treatment - they don't like that I only give them the Medicare rebate, being a pensioner. Just wondering if you get treated any better than I am here...

Pats to Storm, hugs ooo

[Hanna3]

Hi again Katy!

Thanks so much for giving me the link to that advocacy service - I had a nice young guy from a big town ring me and he's asked me to email him the gas bill - and told me to ask Housing to send another plumber to check for leaks - he thinks I will have to pay some of it but he's going to tell me how/where to get financial assistance and meantime he's taking a look at it. It's nice to have someone in my corner so I am just passing on my thanks for giving me that advice xxx

I hope you're OK - I took Sam for a walk this morning and had a coffee in the park just to stay out of the house for a while, and I was wishing I could go to the library and have a browse or something, but of course there isn't anything open so back home we went... rather lonesome.

So take care dear one and pats to Storm from me and little Sam ooo

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hi all 🙂

Well I got off the hamster wheel and went and caught up with my (only) friend down the oval for a dog walk. I googled and it's allowed. So nice to have some company and a chat. I was getting right depressed, honestly.

How's everyone else faring? This situation is not great for our mental health so I really hope you're all going ok.

It's the first of an extended two week uni break, which is nice. No content or lectures, but still essays to write. I'm hoping to get some marks back soon. With everything a muddle, we haven't got anything back yet.

Hanna I'm glad to hear the advocacy service may be of help to you, you're very welcome. And yes, it's hard not having anywhere to go and spend time. I'm very happy my favourite nursery is re-opening. They shut down due to the owner having health issues, but have decided they can't afford to stay shut. It's such a nice place to go and wander, and it's open air, so with social distancing it's safe enough.

In regard to your GP question, the surgery I attend is all bulk-billed. You're really not having luck in that town, I'm afraid! Want to move here? I have a spare room 🙂

How are things with your daughter, CS? And how are you managing? Please let me know x

Paws, I adore that picture of Woofa and the crazy ear situation. I love when Storm's ears forget how to "rose" as they're called, and just flop. Dogs really are the best! Hope you're well and have everything you need x

Big hugs to you all, and pats to the fur friends xoxoxoxo

[Hanna3]

Hi Katy,

I am having major computer problems so see my post to Paws on my thread, but the young guy came back with an email saying the gas usage was so excessive it was clearly a major leak so I've ordered a plumber urgently and switched off the gas meter - he said Housing will have to pay the bill/compensation. He's been absolutely wonderful and I can't thank you enough for putting me onto them! The poor guy is busy working from home of course..

I am so glad you got out with a friend what a help! And your nursery reopening you can treat yourself to another smelly flower..

I could happily take you up on that offer of a spare room, you might regret that offer! - your part of the world sounds rather wonderful. I'm certainly not feeling safe in this house with all the gas leaks... may be good grounds for requesting they move me I think...

My old friend in Coastal Towns reckon I should write about this place what with the gas leaks/windows that fall down all the time/paint flying through the house/nasty doctors etc etc etc! She said she can hardly believe it all - I just laughed and laughed on the phone to her this afternoon about it all - I think maybe that's the best way to handle it all!

So glad you got out with company and have a Uni break, go and buy a pot plant tomorrow and treat yourself girl!

Hugs for all your help xoxoxoxo

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hello anyone...

Got my first uni mark back yesterday. Lower than my usual standard, but I'm not really surprised. Having so much trouble concentrating and just feel stressed and sad a lot. The bad thoughts have been hanging around a lot too.

How's everyone else managing?

Katy

[calmseeker]

Hey there Katy,

Sorry to hear that you're not happy with your marks, you should pat yourself on the back for completing what you had to in these weird times. Gosh, I think you do an amazing job being at uni in the first and managing an anxiety disorder so hats off to you. I personally can even make it to enrolment let alone tackle a course.

What bad thoughts are you having of late? (that's if you want to share of course, perfectly fine to ignore question xo). I have been a bit ho hum also. I seem to be feeling disappointed a lot lately, with people and certain other things - its a feeling that will probably pass soon enough - you know how it is with anxiety/depression; master one thing and onto the next issue.

What are you up to today my virtual friend? I have a psych appointment which is unusually close to my last one which was a bit over a month ago. I usually only get to see her every four months.

A couple of hugs sent your way.

CS

[monkey_magic]

Hi Katyonthehamsterwheel,

Congrats on firstly finishing that uni thing...which is really well done considering what you're facing and the times we're in.

I think I've got a bit of depression myself due to not going out and staying at home all the time. I know I can go for walks etc but then I feel a bit down knowing I can't go anywhere except home afterwards so I don't go. So yeah feeling ho hum as well lol....
Oh well it's not forever.

Doing nothing is ok I guess...gets boring though. I know there are things I can do just don't feel like it. Sometimes I do though...

I'm sure you'll get out of that headspace again. I wish u luck in doing so as well..

Lots of care and luck,
MMx

[Hanna3]

Hi Katy,

What with the coronavirus and what you've already had to deal with in your own life, I am not surprised your mark is down a bit on what you'd hoped - I'll bet others are the same and you have had more than your share of extra problem on top of covid19! I think you should be pleased you're managing as well as you are dear lady.

The trouble with people who are used to passing very well (I know from my own experience) is that we are too hard on ourselves when we don't think we've performed as well as we should - so I think you're being a bit tough on yourself! Pats on the back from getting through it all!

If I can help with those dark thoughts let me know, that's probably with the mark you got not being what you had hoped etc. Go and have a nice walk with Storm, or buy a plant, or have a nice cuppa, and feel good that you are managing this study at all. I think you're doing brilliantly and don't let the odd lower than usual mark put you off. I had some assignments that bombed, it's OK!

Hugs from me dear one and furry warm hugs from Sam. I came home to find my pink shamrock plants keeling over and wilted, so I think I may be a failure as a gardener!!!

I'll pop by later and see how you're going. Waves to Monkey and CS! xoxoxo