Not in a good space

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

It's like a feeling just bubbling up to the surface. It's panicky and disgusting and I dont' know what to do with it. There's no thoughts associated with it. It's a feeling. A really gross one. I called the Suicide Call Back service. I didn't find them helpful. What do you do? What helps you?

[iamanxiety]

Hi Katy,

I completely missed your post. unfortunately MI can be a relationship killer . if the foundation is there you would hope for some support but it often dosent happen that way. the timing for the break up seems very harsh and some compassion at this time was needed.

good to hear the deppresion is not as severe but anxiety can be equally as crippling.

I'm hoping it's still early days for you in the grieving in that I mean as time goes on things will improve . getting through this difficult time I can imagine is tough and I hope you can get some relief soon.

Andrew

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Andrew

You said "every morning is like groundhog day" and I agree. That's why my name on here is Katyonthehamsterwheel - just going round and round and getting nowhere 😞 I understand totally. And forcing ourselves to do things that are good for us is hard with no motivation, even though we feel better when we do them. What a bugger about the bicep! Hope you recover soon. As far as work goes, being out of work isn't good for MI either. I haven't worked in over a decade. Is there some other type of work you could do? Or are you not currently up to it? I know you've been trying to get your meds modified.

As for me, yes I think it's still early in the grief process. Lots of things still make me cry and Xmas will be hard. I feel if my partner had stuck around perhaps it would have been easier, or just different. But I've been dealing with two losses and it's really been heavy. Thanks for caring.

Katy

[iamanxiety]

Hi Katy,

totally agree,this Xmas is going to be tough. many on this site find it an especially hard time of year for a number of reasons. I personally don't need the added stress of it all.

long break from work is hard and getting back into it with your mind not in the right place is even harder. I could do other things in my industry but feel like it may be to much for me to handle at the moment. I am going to try volunteer work and part time to ease my way back into it. possible something you may try to ease the transition m, that is if your are up to it at this time. getting social may help as long as it is not too intense.

all the best with the holiday period,I personally can't wait till it's past.

Andrew

[blondguy]

Hi Katy

I am not sure how your anxiety impacts on your day to day well being (sorry..just trying to understand) In my 20's my anxiety was that chronic that I had difficulty leaving my home..ugh....Do you ever have similar anxiety?

Please disregard the question if its inappropriate 🙂

Paul

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hey Andrew, haven't seen you around the forums today so hoping that's a good sign and things are going ok. Check in and say hi if you feel the need 🙂

Thinking of you, Katy

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hi Paul

Not inappropriate and no need to be sorry, your thoughts and care are appreciated. Just over a decade ago my anxiety impacted to the point I had trouble leaving the house, that's when I sought help. I also haven't been able to work in that entire time. I have generalized anxiety disorder, so it focuses itself all over the place and I worry and freak out over all sorts of things. I also suffer bouts of depression. I feel really up and down at the moment (well mostly down I guess), and the bad thoughts are either right up close or lingering in the background. Today in Coles it felt really weird to be selecting fruit and concurrently thinking "I want to die". I looked around at all the other people shopping and wondered if any of them felt the same...

A rather morbid Katy

[iamanxiety]

Hi Katy,

I went to a bbq with some freinds and was able to keep my anxiety at bay most of the day although I wasn't really myself but I did ok.

I too have had anxiety to the point of not been able to leave the house, it was hell I could not function, avoided calls,contact with anyone and could not control my thoughts. I thought I would never break out of it. slowly I'm making progress. I also have major deppresion but anxiety was crippling ,I felt like a vegetable stuck at home hiding from life .

Are you on medications for your anxiety. I am and they saved my life. it settled my thoughts and made it easier to do other things to improve myself such as pcsycology, exercise etc.

I'm hoping to slowly get myself back to the real world slowly and I'm taking it in baby steps for now.

hope your doing ok feel free to chat and ask me questions. happy to share my mess of a journey

Andrew

[blondguy]

Hey Katy

There is nothing morbid about Katy, Katy! You have spoken from the heart and that takes great strength. I felt like I was reading about my own experience when I read your post

I do understand what you have been going through and it can be dark place...absolutely!

Speaking about Coles...one of my siblings was in Coles a few months ago in the queue for the checkout...2 people in front of her....and was that panic stricken she leaned forward and gave a note to the checkout girl......saying if she collapses to call her partner immediately....and then went back in the queue to wait...oh my god!

The huge problem with that is the poor checkout girl who then became frightened and left....My sibling refuses to acknowledge or 'own' her anxiety condition....and is in a continual state of denial now after several acute anxiety attacks.....

This is why you are as strong as you are Katy...

Excuse I for rambling on....oops!

Paul

[Purple4]

Katy you have been a wonderful support to me on the forums. I really do wish we lived closer.

Just wanted to send a quick message to let you know I am sending love and thinking of you

Deb xx

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Andrew, thanks for thinking of me. I'm so happy to hear things are on the improve for you. That makes me feel good. I wish you good thoughts moving forward x