Not in a good space

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

It's like a feeling just bubbling up to the surface. It's panicky and disgusting and I dont' know what to do with it. There's no thoughts associated with it. It's a feeling. A really gross one. I called the Suicide Call Back service. I didn't find them helpful. What do you do? What helps you?

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hello

That all sounds very challenging, I'm sorry you're facing this and not finding appropriate support. A social worker's role really varies depending on where they work. At the least they should be able to identify who can help you in your area, but you would think that Vision Australia might have been able to do that too.

I'm not sure if you're in NSW or Vic, but according to google eye subsidy schemes are provided by NSW Government Spectacle Program in NSW, or Australian College of Optometry in Vic. Not sure if that helps. Alternatively, getting in contact with your local support services such as Salvos, might be worthwhile. Again, even if they can't help, they may be able to direct you to who can.

Honestly though, how annoying are Housing? You'd think they could just send a handyman around without all the hoo-ha. It's hard when you can't just do things yourself, and it would be nice if they'd care enough to ensure that you're safe.

As for me - still waiting to hear about placement. I do have an appointment with my Honours supervisor though, at the end of this week. I'm feeling pretty stressed about it all, so trying to think of things that might help to make this year a bit easier. Will see how I go 🙂

Katy

[Hanna3]

Thanks Katy! Vision Australia don't have an office here would you believe... in such a popular area... nothing. Last time I phoned them I got a person in another state who insisted I had to live in that state to qualify for any help... she was hard to understand.. and that was a phone number for people with vision issues... and they make the person difficult to talk to as well! Oh dear...

Housing are hopeless. I am tempted to to to the local MP as other people here have suggested, and get him to contact Housing on my behalf... but what a broo ha ha to have to go through just to get light bulbs changed. I could go back to that young social worker at the hospital, but she seemed no use back then either... I think I'll try Vision Australia yet again... might be lucky and get someone in my state (NSW).. and I'll try asking Housing yet again... eeeeek.

Good luck re your Honours course and the interview.. let's hope that it's helpful and that they can try to place you where you'll be more comfortable. I was thinking about you and wondering if there are social work positions that don't involve much face to face work - are there any roles for SW's in say, telephone counselling, or on forums like this (ie. giving advice etc), or administrative type roles.. government jobs? Are you more at ease dealing with older clients (but then you have to deal with their families), or kids... or anyone disabled?

Just interested where your interests might lie in future... got thinking about it the other day after you posted.

Thanks again and good luck, let us know how you go! oxoxo

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Good morning

Still waiting for confirmation on my placement. It looks like it might be a part time arrangement, which may work out better, giving me time to work on my thesis. As for the future, my interests and my abilities differ. If I were comfortable in my own skin, I'd be excited at the array of opportunities out there. Someone at the uni described my having debilitating anxiety as a tragedy. Seems fairly apt. All I can do is keeping working on myself.

Let me know how you get on with Housing and VA. It must be ridiculously frustrating!

Sorry, bit of a depressing post. Everything seems a bit hard at the moment. Maybe I'll shower and walk miss Stormy and see if that helps xo

[Paw Prints]

Hello Katy,

Lass I'm guessing your interview later this week is on your mind which is probably why everything seems a bit hard at the moment... taking Stormy for a walk to get out of your head sounds like a good idea... a suggestion I read on another post was to take a notebook with the letters of the alphabet written down & try to write down one thing you see on your walk for each letter... 'x' might be a bit tricky... then the next walk you take it & try to write down something different for each letter...

I had to chuckle at you & Stormy running around in the rain at the beach... that sounded like a lot of fun...

How are you going at thinking of self care things you could do this year to help you cope?... Remember even little things can help...

Hugs

Paws

[Hanna3]

Hi Katy,

Ouch, I never like things like anxiety or any other mh or physical health issue being described as a tragedy - that makes it sound as if nothing can ever be put right or be OK again... I don't like that attitude one bit... nope!

It's a challenge, and it's frustrating, and it makes things tougher at times... it also makes you more understanding of other people suffering the same issue.. and other mh issues... but heaps of people live with this and other issues and still have rewarding lives. I looked up disabled people who still play guitar and they are astounding - human determination and resilience sometimes is just fantastic.

I think part time sounds good as you say, more time for you to work on the thesis. I know what you mean about your interests vs other things - but see how you go, you don't know what new interests and/or opportunities may come up over the next year or more.. life can be exciting, we can never know what's ahead.

Self help things are a good idea of Paws... maybe if you can think of things that helped you get through last time..

Hugs! oxoxoxoxo

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Good morning

Well, big day tomorrow. I have a meeting with my honours supervisor, and then an interview with the placement host agency - both of which I personally find incredibly challenging. I'm trying to just focus on the note pinned on my study board - "be messy, complicated, afraid, and show up anyway". I don't know if it was a great idea to organise both for the same day, but it's done now lol. I have a yoga class in the evening tomorrow, so it might be a nice way to wind down afterwards.

One of the self care things I didn't do during prac last time, that I wanted to, was just to take 5 and stand in the sun and recharge. It's pretty intense to be around people all the time when you're not used to it. And just 5 minutes outside to breathe, would be great.

As for today - the weather is lovely, sunny and a slight breeze. I've read a bit, walked Storm, and am going to potter about with my plants and tidy up some. I think I'll go for a skate too as it's just lovely out. What is everyone else up to?

Kind thoughts, Katy

[Hanna3]

Hi Katy,

Only just on here now... so wishing you best of luck with your appointments tomorrow and I hope you found some nice relaxing things to do today...

I had some long phone chats with friends and a lot of music practice and a trip to the library and tomorrow have another music lesson and my friend coming over in the morning for a cuppa and to help with tuning the harp. It's going to be hot here tomorrow.

As I have some pain issues I've just started reading a book on pain by a surgeon, called Back in Control, and he is talking about anxiety and how this is a learned response to chemicals such as cortisol in our body and how we can "unlearn" responses to situations that make us anxious (and that our bodies learn neurological pathways to respond to these chemicals hence physical pain too). I know of these theories and I think they're useful... remembering that we are having a response to situations that we have learned, and finding ways to unlearn these. I need tor read more of the book!

I think rewards work well - when losing weight I used to let myself have a terrific afternoon tea out every time I lost another two kilos... so standing in the sun to refresh and relax yourself sounds good to me!

Let us know how things go tomorrow, best wishes! cheers.

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

oh my gosh! What a day!

Well I cried my way through 2 appointments, but to my credit I didn't chicken out of either, and even managed to talk a little. I went for coffee with an Honours student afterwards and now I'm super drained.

I like the sound of the book that you're reading. It aligns with some of what I've read in The Body Keeps the Score. I've also read The Brain that Changes itself, which talks about neuroplasticity, and The Woman Who Changed her Brain, again - similar. So it's definitely possible to program new responses. It's a matter of "getting there". If you find any helpful advice, please share ! The agency where I interviewed to do placement looks so amazing, and aligns with my interests and values. But I already find myself wishing I could figure out how to relax in order to make the most of it.

Well, sounds like a nice day you had planned today, Hanna, hope you enjoyed it. I'm looking forward to relaxing now 🙂

Hugs, Katy

[Hanna3]

Hi Katy,

Sorry I have a sick dog so haven't been able to help much... hope you're feeling better... at least the interviews are over, phew!

The book is about learned helplessness - I used to work with a doctor who treated chronic pain patients and he used to talk a lot about learned helplessness - an example is when someone doesn't try to stop smoking anymore because previous attempts have failed... it's making a victim of yourself ... things like pain/anxiety/smoking can all be forms of it - the book is about taking control instead of being the victim and playing the victim role. There's something to be said for it. It might be challening to think of ways to take charge of anxiety instead of feeling controlled by it in situations... easier to write about than do I know... but might be worth thinking about... I'm reading it because of pain... but it can be used for almost anything.

Distraction techniques might be one example of something to use to gain control... that kind of thing. It's an interesting concept, plenty on the internet about it... but takes practice.. because its learning something new.

oxoxo

[Paw Prints]

Hello Katy,

Yay you!!! Especially managing to still make the 2nd meeting after crying in the 1st... I think you should also credit yourself for being able to join another student for coffee after...

I hope you had a relaxing afternoon...

Hugs

Paws