Not coping after disclosure

[startingnew]

Please help me. Im really struggling.

last night i disclosed something that ive kept with me for 2 years now. Im already struggling with ptsd anxiety and depression but the event that i disclosed also comes under ptsd.

I rang a hotline and the first time in 2 years ive spoken about it and im so embarrassed and ashamed. I hate myself and blame myelf for it. And im terriffied! !

[startingnew]

Hi Mrs D

thank you for your loveley comment xoxox

[Doolhof]

Hi Startingnew,

We all want what is best for you, as you are the one experiencing everything, we can only make suggestions and offer comfort from the things we share with you.

Like I mentioned in a previous post, we are not walking in your shoes, we don't know what is happening there, but we do wish you all the best.

Hope you find something to be thankful for at the end of this day.

I'm thankful we finally have some rain in our part of S.A. as our rainwater tanks are dry already! The garden will be loving the rain as well.

Hope yo have some happiness in your life today.

Cheers to you from Mrs. D.

[Just Sara]

Hey Essen;

I'm really sorry to hear you've been to the ED. You don't have to explain why as I'm aware of your patterns these days. It saddens and frustrates me you resort to this type of response to life.

I'm sorry your psych visit didn't go that well; but maybe it's time to think about purging yourself of the ties that bind you if you know what I mean. What exactly is it that scares you about disclosing your past? You've done it on here and still have our support. Anyway, I won't lecture ok. It's up to you at the end of the day.

About your med's and home situation; please call the Mental Health Team Helpline in your state and ask for help. It's not right what's happening, but you get this. Things needs to change. There are Welfare and Social Workers who deal with this stuff all the time. The MH team can direct you towards help in your area.

You know we're here to listen and give you support. There are others out there in your community who want to help if you just let them hun. If your mum or mature people in your life can't do right by you, it's time to look outside the family for help.

Anyway, you know we're here for you. I can't do anything else but read and respond. I wish I could, but it's not possible or appropriate. Anonymity is BB's gift to us.

Please take care Essen...my thoughts are with you;

Sara xo

[startingnew]

Hi Sara, Mrs D and everyone

I have been in hospital since friday the 30th and have literally only been out for an hour. i didnt have any access to electronic devices so wasnt able to make contact until now.

since my absence ive got to jsut get a few things organised like getting me car back as it is parked in a parking mall and has been there since friday.

will tell you more later on tonight

lots of love and hugs to you all

[james1]

Hey SN,

That's so lovely of you to post to us so soon after getting out. We've been thinking of you too.

I hope you are feeling a little bit better.

James

[Just Sara]

Hey Essen;

I reiterate James words; it's great to know you're ok. Thankyou for letting us know. Looking forward to hearing about your adventure.

🙂 Sara x

[startingnew]

hey guys

i hope everyones doing ok

while im trying to brielfy describe my experiences at hospital over the past week

i have a new song for you guys to look up- it is super powerful and it reminds me of many of you on here and the strength within you

Jump onto youtube and type in:

Danny Gokey- Tell your Heart to Beat Again

love to you all

[startingnew]

Day 1

SO MUCH CHAOS!!! and VERY DISTRESSED

my Gp called an ambulance which made me an involuntary patient. I waited at my drs surgery for over an hour for an ambulance. My phone kept ringing and ringing and ringing and a heap of msgs which was making me a lot more distressed than I already was. There was another argument between the bf and my gp which again didnt help me at all. I waited in the observation room at the hospital for 9 hours!!! before I was eventually taken to a MH unit. In the 9 hours I was monitored by security, seen a community psych and then the hospital psych as well. I had a gp come in and ask about general wellbeing and the nurses monitored as well checked bp etc every so often.

As you can imagine there was ALOT of just waiting around and I had no phone or anything when I got to the hospital. I just had enough time to tell mum I was being observed and then transfferred and to get a friend to look after my new horse for me and that was it after that I had nothing.

My options were that day were to either coperate and go to hospital or dont cooperate, call secutiy and get taken to hospital. I wanted as little fuss as possible so opted for option one both times I was asked, I pretty muhc had accepted my fate by then. So I got to the MH unit by about 8-9pm, got my meds sorted and done the initial workup and then was shifted off to bed at 10pm

[startingnew]

DAY 2

this is was a more boring day and not something im use to at all! I had my first meal in almost 48 hours as well, it was very little but I suppose better than nothing. I read 10 magazines and did a lot of drawing. I finally got to have a shower but lucky for me I borrwed a hospital gown lol. I was the only one there on friday and saturday and it wasnt until early sunday morning someone else was there besides me. Someone finally brang me up some stuff so I could get changed and wasnt bored out of my mind.

At least I was allowed to use the phones through the day so that was good. People were asking me where I was and how tog et to me and I said I dont know. I didnt and it wasnt until I was discharged I realsied what part of the hospital I was in as I came through the ED.

This night was a lot harder. Everything began to dawn on me in full force of where I was and what I was there for. I had a lot of anxiety this day as well. Again I think everything was beginning to dawn on me. But I was medicated and at least those are sorted now too.

[startingnew]

DAY 3

I was quite sick today esp in the morning. I was very nauseous and had to keep running to the bathroom but thats all it was. Just a feeling.
My anxiety was in full force yet again. I asked the nurse what could be done and I was given one of my prn meds to help calm to nerves abit which helped then I went back to being a zombie again. I did a lot of drawing as well and there was another person there and I had abit of chat with her- just about life stuff and we watched a movie- again just background noise. My mother and her bf had a big reality check and when I was speaking to them it was like opening a new door!
It was like wow it took until this long for you to give a hoot and actually believe me and that this wasnt some sort of attention seeking thing. They actaully asked how can they help me when I get out.