Not coping after disclosure

[startingnew]

Please help me. Im really struggling.

last night i disclosed something that ive kept with me for 2 years now. Im already struggling with ptsd anxiety and depression but the event that i disclosed also comes under ptsd.

I rang a hotline and the first time in 2 years ive spoken about it and im so embarrassed and ashamed. I hate myself and blame myelf for it. And im terriffied! !

[startingnew]

hello everyone 

[startingnew]

hello @Ggrand @demonblaster @ecomama @quirkywords and everyone 

its been a little while since ive been online but it would be nice to reconnect with you guys 

i hope to hear from you soon 

[Ggrand]

Hello Little Butterfly.. 🦋..

Its so nice to hear from you, yes it’s been a very long time since we last talked…

How are you going Startingnew?

I also hope to hear from you too…I have often thought about you and how you’ve been travelling along with life…looking forward to hearing from you..♥️🤗🦋.

Always my kind thoughts and a gentle warm hug..

Grandy..

[startingnew]

Hey Grandy 

Its really good to hear from you! i have missed you all 

so much has happened since i was hear last including no longer being a full time carer and also moving into my very first rental home! Very big changes for me but its been nice to start to have abit of freedom and space where im not relied on all the time. i do still do social working though as i still want to help people and help them to reach their own goals 

unfortunately my health isnt very good so i may need to look at retiring soon and maybe start doing some work from home or apply for disability. after more tests and hospitalisations a specialist was able to help me pick up some patterns and symptoms that made for a new diagnosis discovery for my physical health but there is no cure and due to the nature of it i will quite possibly loose my capacity to drive as well as loose my vision as well so theres been alot of shocks. 

ive been working on some art projects though and have really taken a liking to doing the diamond arts. sometimes people buy them and pay me to do them! its not very much but a little bit goes along way during these time!

How are you? whats the latest news with you?

[quirkywords]

Welcome  back starting new . Lovely to see your name. 

[startingnew]

Hello @quirkywords  its nice to see you, how are you going?

[Ggrand]

Hello Startingnew, waves to Quirky 👋..

I'm sorry to hear about your diagnosis and how debilitating it might get for you in your future...I am also sorry it's taken a while for me to reply...I get really tired a lot lately (due to my illness) and since my ipad broke using my phone to post can get really hard the keyboard is so tiny 😁..and my finger have signs of clubbing..

NDIS I believe is very hard to get onto I really hope that you will be accepted soon..I have been listening here and on your new thread...mind fog seems to be a constant with me lately..  

I tried diamond art a few years ago and really enjoyed it while sitting on my front veranda...I still do it occasionally...Nice idea doing for other people especially if you enjoy doing it...as you said every little bit of $ helps...

I read your in your own place now...do you enjoy living away from your family, do you miss the interaction you had with them? 

Hope your doing okay little butterfly..my kind thoughts and prayers are with you..

Hugs 

Grand.. 

[Lana026]

I’m really sorry you’re going through this. Telling someone about something you’ve carried alone for two years must have taken an enormous amount out of you, and it makes sense that you’re feeling overwhelmed and scared now that it’s finally out in the open.

Please try not to judge yourself for how you’re feeling after talking about it. Shame and self-blame can feel incredibly strong after trauma, but you deserved to be able to tell someone and be supported.

If you can, stay connected with someone you trust today rather than sitting with all of this by yourself. You could also call the hotline again and simply tell them that you’re struggling after yesterday’s disclosure. You don’t have to tell the whole story again.

Most importantly, if the thoughts of hating yourself become thoughts of hurting yourself, or you don’t feel safe, please reach out straight away to Lifeline on 13 11 14 or call 000 if you’re in immediate danger.

I’m really glad you reached out here too. You don’t have to carry this completely alone anymore.

[startingnew]

Hey @Ggrand  

its nice to see you. i understand the challanges with the phones and forums. im finding it difficult on my phone as well so try and log in when i can on my laptop. my vision issues make it hard for me to see the smaller writing and typing on the phones too. 

im also hearing you on the fatigue, its one of my major symptoms too. hard to get out of bed most days or have the energy to really do much. 

I definently like being in my own place away from the family trigger. its getting quite expensive living on my own though so may look to move if rental pricing keeps increasing. i wouldnt do that without having safety in mind though, the last thing i would want is to live with someone and we dont get along or i end up homeless again 

[startingnew]

Hi @Lana026  nice to meet you 

the initial post is a couple of years old now but thank you for responding as i still face the challanges of having that disclosure. ive made an effort to help others in these circumstances as well like the forums but also through my work as well. its good to help others achieve their goals