Not coping after disclosure

[startingnew]

Please help me. Im really struggling.

last night i disclosed something that ive kept with me for 2 years now. Im already struggling with ptsd anxiety and depression but the event that i disclosed also comes under ptsd.

I rang a hotline and the first time in 2 years ive spoken about it and im so embarrassed and ashamed. I hate myself and blame myelf for it. And im terriffied! !

[Lici]

Hey startingnew,

Sorry to read that you're so unwell! I really hope you get better soon! Xx being sick really sucks and pain is even worse, having both must be a nightmare!

I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before, but for your studies, look into getting a disability access plan. They're for mental illness too and having one is probably the only reason I've gotten through my studies. I'm not sure how it will work for tafe, but on mine I've put down that I'll need extensions at times etc and because of that I don't need to hand in doctors certificates etc. It really is useful to have!

Hugs xx

Lici

[Peppermintbach]

Hi lovely Butterfly Wings (and all),

I feel sad that your psychiatrist, for whatever reason, has handed your care over to your GP. I also hope you hear back from headspace soon...

The pain sounds horrendous. It must be awful to be able to barely stand upright without feeling such intense pain...

Oh Little Wings, I’m worried about the dark thoughts. Please make sure you call a helpline or get other help if you don’t feel safe...we want our favourite Butterfly to be safe...

Medical terminology will be interesting for you. I remember you said you’re interested in nursing so this ties in nicely 🙂

Hugs, love and butterflies happily accepted...

Sending squishy hugs and much love your way too.

”Dusk till dawn”

Pepper xoxo

[startingnew]

Thank you for the msgs guys. As always i appreciate them.

Im just going to sit here quietly tonight

Peps- i know you would be feeling about the same too re a different thread. I am shocked, understanding and already missing them all at once 😞

I am safe just low and in pain. I know those helplines are there if i need. Its a bit of a hit and miss. Sometimes they help and sometimes they make things worse. But im good at this safety thing now so am ok.. for now at least.

[Ggrand]

Hey little butterfly,

Im sitting with you sweetheart,,,,I saw my first butterfly this spring yesterday..it was a white one and just flew around my backyard joyfully enjoying the sunshine...

🌹🕊🦋🍦🎂🥧🍮🥜. ..

Grandy...

[demonblaster]

We love you SLD 🌴

Hold on sweetheart

You really are an inspiration.

When you wake up in the mornings tell yourself and at night before you sleep not that you get much poor darling

"I'm strong can and will get to the other side" because you WILL.

You've got grit girl

🤗😚 always by your side and in my thoughts honey 💗👀👂🏻

[startingnew]

Thank you lovlies for sitting with me.

Another sleepless night 😞 even when pains controlled i still cant sleep. Up and down all night every half hr to an hr im up again. Seems by the the time i get back to sleep i wake up again.

Hopefully these antibiotics will kick in soon....

Thank you my friends. Sending many hugs and lots of love to you ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

[Peppermintbach]

Hi lovely Butterfly,

Warm hugs and weekend blessings for now (plus blue Butterfly wishes)...

Be back later to chat...

Love always...

”Dusk till dawn”

Pepper xoxo

[demonblaster]

Darling could GP give you just a couple of bombs to get some sleep like I think he did another time.

It'll be adding to your stress untold. 🤗

[startingnew]

Hi lici
thank you for the well wishes. I very much appreciate them
umm I dont think you have but my careers advior has said that she can help me set that up fro my studies too howvever its only a short term course over a few months so im trying not to use that unless I really need to but I will def keep it in mind!

Hi Peps,
I try my best to use the helplines, it really can be hard though when you feel like your the biggest burden that even people being paid to listen to you shouldnt have their time wasted.
I am interested in the med terminology course plus other ones but they are building ones, abit less pressure on me too.


Hello little angel, SL, Lici, Peps and all here too.


I went to the medical centre for my results but I had to get out of there. I ended up with the dr that skrewed my hand up so I just asked for my test results and ill go see my gp tomorrow or go to the ED. This feels worse than my last kidney infection, but tis test result actually come back clear meaning I dont have any sort of UTI. But... its not a pulled muscle. I think its something worse esp considering the pain and extreme tenderness in that area which is also near the appendix and also one sign that my stomach has gotten worse so im quite worried.
Im going to do a walk in at my drs tomorrow morning, ill have my youngest ssiter but im bringing pop because if they say I need to go to hospital they cal the ambulance then and there meaning my youngest would be stranded and I cant do that. At least my pop would have the car seat my car and the ability to get home until mum can leave.
I am not sleeping. Im barely getting 2 hrs a night. I just cant sleep :( ive also had to do the hardest thing and that is cancelling that client. I made an attemt to right the situation and offer her cheaper or alternative arrangements but she is ignorning all msgs so ive said no more. I cant handle it mentally, esp with the added financial stress as im out of pocket. And also physically atm too. I went there today and I can barely sit or stand for long times. Driiving up the rocky driveway was awful and I held my breathe most of the time too.

again im so sorry, i feel liek im neglecting you all. i want to be here for you all. so if you want to ive a quick update here on how you currently are that would be good. i care for you all so much

[startingnew]

Hello my lovelies,

i went to the drs and they have ordered a few different tests to find out what might be happening, they are even ruling out medication side effects as the ones im on may be causing this so tomorrow im off doing 3 different tests and will get them back over the next 2 days in hopes it might provide/rule out what might be happening.

Dr said to take another few days off work so will need to find some more things to do at home. on tuesday ive got a careers advisor appointment so we can discuss the next step for my studies. tafe is still processing so this session will be about how to best arrange my times, study methods that might suit me etc. my fingers are crossed ill hear something from tafe in the coming days if not ill contact them and see what is happening.

my crochetting is coming along quite nicely though im feeling really tired due to lack of sleep and whatever is happening internally is causing quite abit of havoc so will just have to manage the best i can for the moment.

You guys might like to know that it has been 3 months since i last self harmed even with the challanges being thrown at me the past while.

sending many love and hugs xoxo