Not coping after disclosure

startingnew
Community Member

Please help me. Im really struggling.

last night i disclosed something that ive kept with me for 2 years now. Im already struggling with ptsd anxiety and depression but the event that i disclosed also comes under ptsd.

I rang a hotline and the first time in 2 years ive spoken about it and im so embarrassed and ashamed. I hate myself and blame myelf for it. And im terriffied! !

3,980 Replies 3,980

startingnew
Community Member

i had my gp as well today.
Firslty she increased my Ads and when I see psychiatrist on thursday next week a mood stabliser hopefully. Stay on my sleeping tablets for the next two weeks then I have to go off them.


Next my foot- drs want another ultrasound if nothing then an MRI. Medicare doesnt cover the whole lot so a few hundred of my pocket. She gave me an arthirits pain releiver and anti infam tablet. And if nothing shows on mri then I dont know. She hasnt gotten then far yet she wants to wait for results.
The pain in my foot is so bad I cant weight bear much nor can I move it or my toes. It runs right up into my calf muscle as well.


I aslo found out I have osteoarthritis in my neck where ive got the injury there too.


Img getting fat but my foots in agony. Healthy eating can only do so much. I tried the exercise bike yesterday but even that hurt like hell. I need to loose the weight b again before I get fat and get bullied once again. Im already delaing with bullies I dont need this to add to their fun.
So now

monday- ultrasound
tuesday- podiatrist
wednesday- something but cant remember at this point in time
thursday- psychiatrist
friday- gp appointment

Dear Essen;

This is my last post for the day as I'm worn down. NO...not by you silly duffer! Please go to my thread and read my reply to you ok. You don't have to post if you don't want to.

What I wrote above are points that helped me recover by learning new ways to communicate. It's meant to teach you what I've learned. You haven't said anything nasty or insensitive ok.

Number 8 is what I still say to myself when I'm feeling helpless. I can't control anything except what I say or do. I remind myself of this often so I don't go off the deep end with worry. I want you to feel that relief; that's all.

You're a courageous and vital young woman who just doesn't know it yet. I wasn't wanted at birth either, but I'm here, so people need to get used to it. I'm not allowing myself to feel guilt. Been there, done that. But no more! This is how you can feel if you want it bad enough. You've got to do the work is all.

Do as I've asked and print it out. Read it to yourself and try to think of situations you might use to change you, not them. Please stop saying "I can't!" They're absolutely toxic and defeatist words. I know you can do it princess.

You've done nothing wrong. I'm here for you and I know you've shared mighty love with me this week. So do the same for yourself and make me proud.

Hugz...Sara xoxox

Hi SN,

See...told you Sara would be back to talk to you 🙂 I think the tips that she left are worth thinking about...I mean, I know you identify strongly with her and want to be at a point where she is today in terms of coping with trauma and coping with rejection. Well, she has given you a list that helped her get to where she is today so maybe you will find it helpful too...

Also, is it okay if I ask whether your counsellor (sorry, I can't quite remember who you're seeing) has a strategy for you to de-escalate the worrying and anxiety? Sorry, I'm only asking out of concern and a desire to help you.

Kind thoughts,

Pepper xo

Hi Sara,
ive read your response on your other thread.
Wow a surrogate grandmother, you can be that, your close enough to me to be that.
Sorry, I wasnt thinking straight while reading it and didnt pick up those tips as they were intended.


How do you get through the guilt of being here, being unwanted being well a mistake. I dont really know how to live with myself.

I have printed this out. Its now with me.

Hi Pepper
yes she came back!
Yes ill be thinking about those tips. I have printed them off as she has told me to do.


Ahh yes my psychologist, she doesnt seem to be listening. Ive asked her for help with distress tolerance but at the moment shes blabbering on about emotional baggage from family.





im not coping
i cant handle all of these things
besides my mental health deteriorating so dramatically, and my physicall health floating up the creek
and now within the past few hours
my great grandmother now is in a nursing home and they dont know how long she has left and to make thigns worse i think i have to put my beleoved horse down.
we just had vets out and spend the last 4 hours trying to save my horse. its been 2 hours and went back to check on her and its not looking good. 😞
not good at all

i dont know what to do or how to feel, im a complete mess 😞 😞 😞

Im not coping

I going to be sick. Physically sick

How can all this be happening!

I just had to watch my horse be put to.sleep and buried 😞

I just watched my horse be put to sleep and buried 😞

Oh I am so so sorry, I just found this horrible sad sad news.

I am so sorry you poor thing, I wish this did not happen.

Later