Not coping after disclosure

[startingnew]

Please help me. Im really struggling.

last night i disclosed something that ive kept with me for 2 years now. Im already struggling with ptsd anxiety and depression but the event that i disclosed also comes under ptsd.

I rang a hotline and the first time in 2 years ive spoken about it and im so embarrassed and ashamed. I hate myself and blame myelf for it. And im terriffied! !

[startingnew]

and maybe its the thought of what would happen to my sisters if i was to do it .

[startingnew]

and your advice seems to be ok, i just cant pull myself back up

[monkey_magic]

You're prob not going to want to hear this but to get back up will take work and hardship. You are going to have to deal with it emotionally and mentally then discard it.

It helps me to not remember at times and do other things.

Baby girl pain is your friend not your foe. Once its all expressed and out you can be free.

You are a heroin.

Disreguard other ppls mentalities from your mind...

I turn to a power greater than myself. It's how I help myself...

Don't be scared to feel and express how u feel.

U r doing your best.

Xxxxxxx

[startingnew]

yeah i know its going to be a long road, i just hate struggling each and every day. im really sick of it and ive tried not to let it get to me but it does. it does all the time. it scared the crap out of me half the time. im super over alert and sometimes ill think there is someone there as in near a window or something looking in and there isnt, it freaks me out all the time.

oh im constantly in pain, both mentally and physically and i really dont enjoy life. i really hate it actually.

im trying to just pull through and get over it but its just not working

[monkey_magic]

I feel you, I really do...

Someone said to me fake it till you make it....

So today I just laughed and laughed. Made jokes all day while drinking one glass two glass three glass......

I destracted myself.

Because it's my life....

Hate can come before love.

Its your life. Ppl have robbed you but you can steal what you've earned back. Laugh at these ( swear words) ppl.

Laugh, cry,kick,scream,punch....

U can build u back up stronger than ever.

Thats when ull be greatful...when ur at the top of the mountain again.

They have nothing.

You are everything.

I believe in you and I truelly want to climb the mountain with you.

Someone said to me do one thing a day....that's 365 things in a year.....

Grab the bull by the horns...yeah it can hurt and almost kill you...but ppl recover their injuries...u can to.....dream about it.. Xxx

[startingnew]

i get it. i do. its harder said then done and im sick of fighitng all the time.

i try to love as much as possible except myself. im trying really i am whether you beleive me or not is another story but i am

[Just Sara]

Thankyou Steph for your input; SN does need support so your words are appreciated.

Hey there SN;

Thankyou for answering my questions hun; I hope today's been a little better for you. How often do you SH and how severe. And yes, you're right; SH is an addiction. When was the last time you did it? Have you told your psych and GP? Does your family know?

I'm also thinking that your sisters might be overwhelmed by you doing this. What would you suggest to them if they did it just like you? Would you try and get them all the help they needed? I know I would. So please consider I feel that way about you.

I'm not a professional, but I do have a lifetime of experience. Ask me anything, though telling you when things will get better or how to stop the pain, I can't. I can only talk about what I know.

Take care...

Sara

[startingnew]

hi Sara, its pretty much a daily occurance except i havent done it today. yes my psych and my gp knows. my family dont and im not telling them, ive got it pretty well hidden.

i would get them help yes but id rather not talk about my sisters in a bad way or something bad happening to them as it sets my anxiety off.

i dont really have any questions at the moment. its easier for me to answer questiosn then it is to ask anyway so ask away

Guess what its set off and im now dealing with those urges but im trying extremely hard not to do anything.

[startingnew]

and i understand your not a professional but your advice is appreciated

[blondguy]

Hey SN

I just thought Id say hi. Hi 🙂

I understand you are doing it tough and are trying your hardest too!

I read a post from Starwolf about avoiding 'fighting' these feelings (the last page)

You just wrote " im sick of fighting all the time"

Starwolf and Sara and Steph6 are here to support you which you know anyway (yes we believe you of course) 🙂

Fighting the symptoms of anxiety, depression or guilt can sometimes make the symptoms/bad feelings worse

We know you are trying as hard as you can....no worries there

just saying we are here for you

my kind thoughts

Paul