Morning Inglorious

Nev54

I wake up after yet another restless night, disappointed that another day has dawned, another day to get through, yet another day I don't want to get through.

I groan and roll my eyes as I stare at the ceiling. "Oh, God, why?", I say to the empty bedroom, a room that is always empty, as empty as I feel.

But there is no god and there is no why, there just is.. nothing, an invisible plane we exist on, a fruitless journey that leads to nowhere. I am merely living an existence of futility.

Maybe tonight I'll sleep and dream of a better place, a place of peace, a place where I can sleep forever.

melodica

There's so much in what you've written. The weight of waking up and feeling like another day is something to survive rather than live. That bone-deep exhaustion that sleep doesn't fix, the silence of a room that echoes how hollow everything feels inside.

You're not invisible here. These words matter, and so do you.

Sophie_M

Hi Nev54,

I’m really glad you posted, even if it feels like nothing matters right now.

Waking up disappointed that you’re still here… that’s such a heavy feeling to carry. The emptiness you describe, the futility, the “what’s the point” can make even getting out of bed feel like too much.

When you wrote about wanting to sleep forever, that stood out. Sometimes when people feel that way, it’s less about wanting to die and more about wanting relief, relief from the exhaustion, the loneliness, the constant weight of existing. If that’s true for you, it makes sense. That doesn’t mean your life is nothing. It means you’re tired.

You don’t have to handle this alone. If you’re in Australia, you can call Lifeline on 13 11 14 anytime, or the Beyond Blue Support Service on 1300 22 4636, or use webchat. If you’re elsewhere, let us know your country and we can help find support near you. If you’re in immediate danger, please call 000.

Right now, you don’t need to solve the meaning of existence. You just need to get through this moment. Sometimes that means shrinking the horizon to the next hour instead of the rest of your life.

You wrote beautifully, even in pain. That tells me there is depth and feeling still there, even if it feels like nothing. We’re here. Please keep talking.

Sophie M

Doors24

Dear Nev54,

I can hear your words so loud and clear. Finding purpose and productivity. Trying to understand or figure out one’s own identity to do things that fill a day. And to be able to do them seamlessly without hesitation.

I often wake up the same way. I often ask myself what is the point? But I see others around me don’t. It is confusing.

But this post is about your words and feelings and they are valid. Even without knowing you or your struggles, they are valid.

Share more if you would like to. I am listening.

Doors24

Psychdiaries2

Hi there,

A very warm welcome back to the forums, thank you for sharing and being here today.

First of all, you’re not alone in what you’re going through right now. I want to gently remind you that this is temporary and you do have the capacity to improve and feel better. I understand how exhausting it can be to live and not have any motivation to want to keep going. I felt that way a few years ago and it really can be all-consuming.

I was searching for something that would bring me joy again and I realised it was right in front of me. In those moments, I pushed myself to get out of bed and when I went to school, I had so many moments of pure laughter with my friends. It made it all worth it. Is there someone you have in your life that you could talk to today? Or someone you know that you can hang around with to lift your spirit up?

Lastly, it may be worthwhile to try gratitude. In my experience, it worked like a charm! I would definitely recommend giving it a try to help you feel a bit more positive. You can try naming some things you are grateful for or writing them down a couple times a day.

I hope this helps. Keep reaching out on here, we are here for you ❤️