I so lonely 😭 and I am tired of this

[Unicorndogge]

I don’t know how to start this but I am sick and tired of having no one to talk to and nothing to do. I sit at home and just do written jobs. No one even cares if I sit on my own all day.I have tried to talk to people that i went to school with but none of them have even showed any interest, I am so desperate. I cry myself to sleep most nights I can’t sleep because what’s the point. I am good at nothing which makes me un- useful. None of this youth groups can help me and my consular doesn’t know how to help either. I am so scared of what I have become, 20 and I have no friends or job even worse no one likes me. I just think what is the point of living when there is nothing to live for, this is cruel world. If anyone is reading this I am not forcing you to answer but if you do Thankyou very much.

[Guest_4643]

Hi Hayley, I'm sorry for just replying now.

Wow, I'm so sorry to hear about all of that. All of us including me on the forums accept you for who you are. Your Dad's Girlfriend sounds very toxic if you ask me, from what you've been saying anyway, & I'm so sorry that you have to deal with that & be around her.

Have you tried talking to your Dad about how you feel & what goes on with his Girlfriend, & whatnot?

You could try & get a Psychiatrist or Psychologist, like what I do on Skype? That way you can stay at home, or you can do it at your Doctor's Clinic if they have Telehealth, but personally I find it better to do it at home. It's all free, Medicare pays for it, you just need a Mental Health Care Plan from your GP which is easy to get. That's what I do with my Psychiatrist.

So that way you could do it in your bedroom or something & you can talk about stuff you'd like to discuss, & no one should hear you, hopefully. Everything is confidential, unless you're at risk of hurting yourself or others because by law they can tell people (police etc). But I hope you're not at risk of that.

I'm sorry for just replying now. I really hope you're alright & that things get better for you. Just remember we're all always here even if we don't reply straight away.

Huge love & huge hugs as usual, please be OK & take care, be safe.

Tayla x

[Aaronsis]

Hey Hayley

Great to chat to you some more, I can hear in your post that you are almost at peace with accepting the direction of your dad's girlfriend, I think the key with this is to communicate with her and let her know how you are feeling and that hopefully this will help her to help you. I think she is really trying and I know she may not always get it right, and this is where you can help her and tell how (politely) she might do it differently next time. It is great she wants to help you so let's see what she comes up with and see what is in store, there may be something really positive that comes out if it.

I hope you can do something today that puts a smile on your face and makes you happy, you so deserve happiness and I think this might be a new chapter for you Hannah, lets be open to it and see what comes.

Huge hugs to you Hayley xx

[Guest_4643]

Hi Hayley & Sarah.

How are you both today? I hope you're alright Hayley. We're always here for you. We care & we'll do our best to support you.

I hope you're OK, please take care & be safe.

Love & hugs to you, & to you aswell Sarah.

Tayla

[Aaronsis]

Hey Tayla

How are you going today? I hope that your weekend was good and that you too found something to make you smile or bring you some joy?

You are so very wonderful the posts you are answering on here and giving people support and some hope and love and it speaks so loudly to the person that you are, so wonderful.

Huge hugs to you

Sarah xxx

[Guest_4643]

Hey Sarah.

I'm ok, just struggling a bit. I'm really scared that my Psychiatrist will hate me & won't want to see me again. He's never said that but still.

I had a dream a few nights ago where he was really angry with me & he said he doesn't want to see me anymore, or he said "I'll see you one last time & that's IT", gosh I hope that's not true. I woke up & cried.

My GP has made things bad for me. Normally I'm relieved to see my Psychiatrist but I've been quite scared. He's always been polite to me & I've always been polite to him, he's never said to me he doesn't want to see me again but that's how I'm feeling & I feel that way more than I did anyway.

How are you though? & thank you for your kind words, it means a lot. The same goes for you.

Love & hugs back,

Tayla xo

[Aaronsis]

Hey Tayla

I am not sure if this trick will work for you but these are just thoughts and these thoughts are not reality....they are not truths and this is their job...to take one small consideration, or dream you have had and to grow it into this balloon of doubt about you, of thoughts that you are not worthy of his help and all the things you are "thinking"...these thoughts.....are you able to rationalize some of these thoughts with a fact, for example:

"I am scared he will hate me"..now what on earth could you possibly have done to make him hate you?...Nothing is the answer. "I am scared he will tell me one more time and that is IT"....he gets paid to see you and even if that was the only reason, he would need to see some hugely significant changes in you to tell you there was only one appointment left for you, this is not the case, he is there for you, not only is it his job to see you but I am more than sure that he wants a healthy and successful outcome for you too.

How would you feel about talking to him at your next appointment about this, and telling him how you feel and then you will be able to put some of these "thoughts" to rest.

You are so deserving of help Tayla and there is not a mean bone in your body that anyone would not want to help you or feel that you don't need help. You deserve to be happy and free of these thought and feelings just like anyone else.

Huge hugs

Sarah xx

[Unicorndogge]

hi guys

i have really really been considering moving to another country and i have been trying to think of how i am going to do it. i want freedom, be/find myself, i want to be confident. this has been my obsession for a few days now and i am even looking up pros/ cons of each country. also i have signed up to penpal to learn more about cultures and to have someone to talk to. this is comforting to me because i love to make out that the future is going to be great. i just want move somewhere completely different to here, i want to start all over again. there is no future for me here, but the question is: " is there a future for me overseas too?'.

AUTISM: basically a label that people think is a fact, i am actually sick of it all the people that take advantage because they know i am dumb. it's so sad to read and hear about how people with autism will never be able to live a life like everybody elses.

thanks sarah and tayla for replying

[Guest_4643]

Hey Hayley.

You don't need to move overseas anywhere at all. Australia is a beautiful country & just because things are hard for you, it doesn't mean that the whole country is bad. There's heaps out there to explore, & I hope one day you'll discover that & see bigger & better things. I can understand why you're feeling that way though. Plus it's not that easy to move overseas, there's LOTS to take into consideration, so I've heard anyway.

You will get your freedom, I'm sure you have some freedom yourself now. If not, why don't you try to have some time to yourself as much as you can, try discussing this with your Dad perhaps, maybe just staying at home for a few hours alone if you're comfortable with that, or going to a friend or family members house if you have any and would like to do that?

Thats nice that you signed up for a Penpal though, I hope you find one & you enjoy it if that's something you'd like to do. It can be interesting talking to people overseas somehow.

You are confident, you joined these forums and shared your story, that in itself is confident, it takes a lot of courage so well done.

Yes you're right unfortunately about the label thing, but that's society sadly, it's just wrong. I'm sorry that you're feeling that way.

You're not dumb. You communicate quite well and you made that profile picture yourself, and that's great also. You're smart, and you're worthy of everything good in the world. You're not any of the bad things you tell yourself, you're all of the good things.

Just remember that Sarah and I and others on these forums are here to support you as much as we can, we won't ever judge you in any way. We care and we're here, always. We won't take advantage of you and treat you bad, I'm so very sorry that people have done that stuff to you, it's horrible.

And of course I'll reply, I'm sorry that I replied late though but I'll always reply and care and support you.

I wish I could give you and Sarah and others a hug in person and just be your friend face to face, I'm sorry that I can't.

please keep your chin up Hayley, and please don't move countries. There's plenty of things for you here whether you believe it or not, and as the saying goes, "good things come to those who wait". I know it's hard but please keep trying, and please stay in Australia. Even if things aren't great right now, they will be one day, I understand that it's hard waiting, believe me.

Please take care and tell yourself happy things.

Love and hugs,

Tayla xo

[Guest_4643]

Hey Sarah.

I guess you're right, thank you for the kind words and reassurance. I've tried to think positive about it and get it off my mind but I can't, it's impossible. I just seem to think about it 24/7 and depress myself and overthink. I don't want to lose him as my therapist.

I'll discuss it with him when I see him on the 18th which I was going to anyway & explain the GP situation. Do you have any suggestions as for what to say and whatnot please? It's going to be awkward and I'll probably just cry.

No I haven't done anything wrong to him and there's been no huge significant change in me, well I'm more depressed and my K10 score has gone from 38 to 43. Other than that nothing I don't think.

I feel the same way about you with all of your kind words, there's no mean bone in your body either, thank you for your reassurance and kindness, it means a lot and I'm glad you think all of that about me. I feel the same with you like I said.

Huge hugs and love back.

Tayla x

PS - sorry Hayley for venting myself on your own thread, I feel bad 😔

[Guest_4643]

Hi Hayley and Sarah, and others.

I just wanted to check in and see how you're both doing, are you two alright? I'm here for both of you if you need someone to chat with or just to listen.

Love and hugs to both of you, and to everybody else here.

Tayla