I feel alone and I don't like the life I have

[mg24]

Hi, this is my second thread. I just have some other feelings I kind of wanna talk to someone about. (i'm 14)

I feel really alone. I don't have a best friend, but I don't have any other friends either. I hang out with this group but only because I've been with them since year seven and I don't want to look like a loner. There aren't really any people I can hang out with from my grade, I've definitely tried looking. It also feels like everyone thinks I'm a loser, people don't want to text me or talk to me at school. I'm part of two sport teams and I still can't find anyone. I know that friends will 'present themselves in time' and all these other things but I don't want to be alone for four years. I don't want to have to keep my feelings to myself all the time and never be invited anywhere.

I also went to England last year to visit my family and I miss it so much. My family can't really afford to go often but I feel like my family is missing me grow up and there are so many things and experiences and relationships I want to share with them. I can't go during two week breaks because we generally go for three weeks plus and I can't miss any school but my mum says that the six week holidays are too expensive and we won't like the weather. I tried to get there another way by going through a student exchange to just escape for a bit and experience something new and meet new people, but my mum shut that down. I've tried coming at this at every angle all my mum says is that I need to get over it and look at what I do have and stop being s negative but I don't know what there is to look at! I have no friends or social life, I personally hate Australia (no offence), and I'm going through some really hard feelings alone so I'm not sure what great things she's talking about. I don't want to do this life anymore, I hate it but there's nothing I can do about it. I also don't want to waste four years of my life, especially my teenage years. My parents say that if I'm going through something I should tell them or just someone except I don't have anyone to tell and they always ignore my feelings. I told my mum I wanted to move after high school and my mum said she would never forgive me if I did. I cry almost everyday because I want to go back so badly and she knows how much I miss it, and she's still saying this. I don't want to have to move away and never see her but I hate it here. I have no idea what to do or where to go.

[Chloe_M]

Hi

Things are okay i guess im seeing my psychologist on saturday

keep holding on xx

[mg24]

hey thats good, thanks x

[Chloe_M]

Hi! How are you going with exams?

Good luck and happy studying!

x

[mg24]

Hey ugh exams! I mostly have assignments but I'm totally swamped right now. I was literally crying in the library yesterday. hbu

[Ggrand]

Hello mg24,

Im just checking in to see how your doing..you have been quiet for a few days and I'm hoping you are okay..

Im sorry you were crying in the library on Tuesday, 🌹..I so wish I could take away your pain and hurt...Do you have a health safety officer you can talk to at school when your feeling really sad?

School work and dealing with depression can make us feel swamped mg you can only do the best you can..If you get to overwhelmed by your assignments, please speak to one of your teachers or your parents..maybe they can help in some way..

Kind thoughts and big caring hugs.🤗.

Grandy.🌹

[Ggrand]

Hello mg24 ..I wrote you a post earlier this morning, still hasn't landed. I'll check back later..

Please Take care of yourself....Bbl 💜🌹..

Grandy.l

[mg24]

Hey,

yeah it sucked but I was just crying in fear of failing haha. I’m having some feelings I kind of wanna talk about. (I could’ve worded that a little better). Look of I’m being honest I’ve probably already said but I don’t like Australia, the weather the culture I just don’t really enjoy it and I’m not a big fan of my life right now. I know I’m only 14 but I just want to move on and get out of here. My parents almost moved to Canada before I was born and I just wish they would turn around and say “we’re moving!” It’s not that I want to run away or I think the “grass is greener” I just think this isn’t the place for me. I want a different life, everywhere I turn I wish I didn’t have to see that building again or drive down this road again. I want to be able to say I’m Canadian and learn to drive and go to a Canadian high school and have Canadian friends and a Canadian boyfriend. And I know the chances of moving are SO slim but I don’t know how to get around this to cope. I feel so stuck and my mum keeps saying you never know what’s around the corner/ things will get better but the if thy don’t which I think they wont then I’m going to waste so much time. I dont know what to do for the best four years. It’s so long. I’m a really good kid and now half of me just wants to wag school so I don’t have to go and feel so bad. I need to go somewhere else and move on and I can’t but what I do to get through it? I can’t just keep hoping my parents will suddenly say we’lol move 😕 anyway thanks for being here for me 🙂

[Ggrand]

Hello mg24,

I feel saddened that your struggling with living in Australia.

You say that you need to wait 4 years before you can go to England or Canada..I feel it's a shame to to be wanting something that is so out of reach for now..

During the 4 years you need to wait, I think it would be Lovely to form some good friendships, the reason I say this is. In 4 years when you want to visit or move to one of these countries how nice it would be to travel and experience the different cultures with a best friend...just my thoughts..

I hope you will be okay..

Kind thoughts,

Grandy...

[mg24]

I think you perfectly summed up how I'm feeling. The thing is hard as a try, I just can't seem to form any connections. Sure I have some friends but no one close. To other people I just make them laugh but I'm not an important part of their life. It doesn't seem like there's really anyone in my grade anyway. I feel like when you're in my situation you've looked for friends everywhere and you've tried to make them with everyone, it's just not happening. I'm part of two different sports teams too. I'm someone that gets super nervous over things like gatherings. I did actually get invited to a birthday party last year in like March and I didn't know many people there I was just friends with the person throwing the party so I was so nervous I wouldn't fit in and I would just be that random kid. I just get super nervous about these things and what people will think of me, yet I find myself wanting to go to a whole new country and be 'the new kid' and have everything completely new. The idea just thrills and excites me and as an over-thinker I have thought of everything and I would still be SO nervous but I'm still so excited. I know that because of who I am, the fact that I feel this way means it would be the right decision for me. My head isn't just in the clouds, I'm not fantasizing. I also think that half the reason I get so scared of what people think is because while I've been growing up and discovering things the people around you have been seeing that too so if they thought you were annoying in fifth grade then they may still think that, like their view is still the same so you can't make a new connection. By going to a new country I would be completely new and different and I could come across to people the way I want, I wouldn't worry so much what people will think. I just I need something to happen or to change, I seriously don't know how long I can keep doing this.

[Chloe_M]

Hi Milly

Firstly I am so so so sorry that you have been feeling so terrible and that i wasn't there to help you. Or even just to talk to you. I hope you aren't mad. My anxiety has been worsening and I now cannot go to the bathroom in public places. But enough about me. I'm glad grandy has given you some of her valuable support. I wish I could have helped you too.

I hope you went ok in your exams.

xx Chloe