HSC anxiety

Guest_9546 · ‎09-07-2017

Hello

I do not know if anyone can relate to me or not but I have "educational anxiety" for maybe the past year and 8 months?

So I wasnt allowed to do my desired subject in year 11 (in year 10 I chose extension 1 maths but wasnt allowed)

At the beginning of yr 11 I was told I wasn't allowed to do extension 1 maths. I started to stress because I wasn't told about it earlier and I wanted to do it desperately

I complained to the head of maths (on many occassions) and he then decided to make me sit a test weeks later

Weeks later I did the test and I stuffed it up. I wasn't allowed to do extension 1 maths. I was stressing and tried complaining multiple times to the head of maths. He decided no. He then referred me to the school counciller. He told me this "rubbish" that I only need advanced maths (2U) for uni since it is a calculus course but I felt I needed extension 1 maths

The counciller told me to let it go (and so did he). I tried to let it go but it didn't work. It was then raised to my school principal (through a complaint to the department of education) and he told me to just focus on all my other subjects because extension 1 maths will make things worse (but I thought of it the other way around)

Ever since that incident, I was stressing everyday. I had anxiety (and still do). I have found it very difficult to learn. Did horribly in tests
At the end of last yr, I told the HT maths that I dont care about learning anymore (since he didn't let me in extension maths earleir in the year).

Ever since then I learned to develop a deep obsession of hatred to him (because I think he's ignorant)Even now (which was a year a and half from that incident of not being allowed to study my desired subject) I have suffered anxiety a lot, I have been so stressed out that it has affected my learning, I have developed a deep hatred to the head of maths, etc. I have even cried a lot at home at times because I was too stressed out. Even back then I found a bit of difficulty sleeping

Assuming I have either narcissism, bipolar disorder or some sort of sever anxiety ] I want to apply for EAS (educational access scheme) for my HSC because my learning was affected from this event a lot

I wanted to do extension 1 (and 2) maths at high school because I wanted to pursue an actuarial degree at university (or a maths degree of some sort) as nothing else interested me but not being allowed to do my desired subjects made me stress

I would appreciate any advice from anyone here

swtpotato · ‎28-09-2017

Hi Tenebrosity,

I'm so glad you got so much out of the psychologist! It is such a relief to finally feel heard and validated.

I am sorry these last few months have been so hard for you, it's so exhausting when you feeling like you are battling your mind every moment.

Yes I definitely relate to being affected by past memories long after they happened. When I became depressed due mostly to severe social anxiety and exclusion while living at a residential college - it opened my mind up to all of these memories of similar experiences I had in high school (that were more mild and more easily suppressed). That experience of depression at that college still affects me 2 years later, though I didn't realise by how much until a few months ago. I do not have PTSD though so I cannot really comment on the effect of trauma.

Hopefully you can reintegrate these experiences and learn from the pain.

- m

Hope_for_the_best · ‎28-09-2017

It is my pleasure to offer you some valuable advice. I am so glad that you feel better after your psychologist visit. Hopefully you will progressively get better as the sessions go on. I would still suggest that you have the numbers of Kids Helpline and Headspace ready, so you could call or chat online with someone if you need extra support in between sessions. I have never seen a psychiatrist in my life, so I have no idea how things will be like. I guess your psychologist will write you a referral letter to a psychiatrist, and then you book an appointment to see him/her.

Guest_9546 · ‎29-09-2017

@swtpotato-It was agonising not being able to seek urgent mental help for over a year and a few months. Thank you for the condolences. I do not have PTSD but I think I do (from googling symptons). Unfortunately my psychologist can't diagnose a specific illness because I don't think she is trained to but she will refer to me a psychiatrist. Even if she isn't trained to do that at least I'll know someone is going to help me (and understands the pain I've been through for so many months)

@hope.for.the.best there's a headspace a couple of suburbs from where I live. Am I supposed to ring headspace/kidshelpline or do I have to visit them in person?

Since the psychologist in very interested in my life (to understand what I'm going through) should I link her this conversation? (as well as a couple of other topics I've created) My main concern is that it will take her too long to read these conversations (but at least she'll actually start to give me proper treatment by the second session). She is also trying to contact my school principal and careers advisor to get to know more about this (although it will take a while because it's school holidays). What neccessities are there that I would need to email the psychologist before we have our next appointment (other than life stories and the impact on my mental health)

Even though I am still in anguish, stress, whatever when I am studying I know that there will be someone who is caring and is going to help me get out of this pain so I suppose I can actually concentrate a bit better than before. It's like having a dark side haunt you but looking beyond that "dark side" I can see a "light of hope" to free me from this pain

Hope_for_the_best · ‎29-09-2017

You don't have to do anything with Kids helpline or Headspace. You just need to have their numbers ready in case you want someone to talk to but your psychologist is not around. They also have online chats if you prefer talking over the Internet.

You are not obligated to email your psychologist anything, but it may be of help if she has copies of your posts. She may not have time to go through all of them, but she will have more ideas of your problems so she can start helping you in the next session.

Guest_9546 · ‎30-09-2017

Ok so I don't think I will be seeing a psychiatrist for diagnosis of a specific mental illness (whether it's PTSD, OCD, etc) mainly because of costs associated so instead I thought about seeing headspace for a diagnosis

Can anyone here tell me their experience with headspace and whether the workers there are trained to diagnose people with mental illness? Are they usually free? do you need a medicare card?

Sorry for these questions but I think I need to visit someone for a "free" diagnosis of a specific mental illness

Hope_for_the_best · ‎30-09-2017

To my knowledge, Headspace has different types of professionals to help with different mental health issues. Since you live close by a headspace centre, why not drop in when you get a chance? Or you may call or email them. You can get first-hand and reliable information from them.

Guest_9546 · ‎30-09-2017

I don't really live "near" one but I know it's not too far away from where I live. I will try emailing them on Monday (because next psychology session will be on Thursday If I remember correctly)

With regards to external mental help services for year 12 (such as kidshelpline) do you just ring them up and discuss your issue with them or what? I have never done this before so am a bit unsure (I might try seeking help from more than 1 service-potentially this could be reachout.com since they cater for secondary students such as HSC students as well as tertiary students)

swtpotato · ‎01-10-2017

Hi tenebrosity,

I'm not too sure as I haven't used those services before. They do have online counselling, phone and email, so if you are unsure about how it works you can email them a few questions if you don't want to call straight away.

I think it's great you are looking for help from multiple sources. It really looks like you are determined to get help and improve. Hope it all goes well

m

Guest_9546 · ‎02-10-2017

Hey everyone

So sorry for not coming back after a day or 2

Since my psychologist appointment won't be until Thursday (if I remember correctly) I rang up the kidshelpline to discuss my issue (during the evening) and I came across a counciller. I was lucky enough to come across the fact that they're operating 24/7

So I told her a bit about my situation and she recommended me to write on a piece of paper all my negative thoughts as well as make myself think about the issue from certain times (such as 9am-1pm). Luckily enough she didn't give me the same/similar response to what the school counciller gave me (and to be honest if she did I'd get so angry to the point that I'd be destroying things). Any other suggestions?

How can I contact the same counciller if I wanted to speak to her again? Unfortunately I decided to stay anonymous and didn't even want to tell her my "nickname" (I don't think I have one)

She also told me that a psychologist can actually diagnose you but not in the first session because they need to know more about your life and such. Luckily enough she actually has a lot of knowledge about psychologists and told me I may not even have a mental disorder (but then I'm thinking without doubt I do-I'm thinking I have PTSD/depression/anxiety/bipolar). I didn't tell her enough of my story so I don't think she could've given me firm advice about this

If I contact headspace would it be the same as contacting kidshelpline?

Hope_for_the_best · ‎02-10-2017

I totally understand your anger towards your school counsellor, but try to forget her to move on. As you are aware now, not all counsellors are like your school's one. Do you still remember the name of the counsellor? If so, you can specifically ask for her next time. I think it would be good to somehow provide an "invented" nickname to her, so she can remember you. You don't have to tell her your real name. I did not use my real name either, just a name that pronounces like my real name.

I have not called headspace, but I think it is operated in a similar manner to kids helpline.