how do i stop crying

[Matchy69]

I feel so alone,i dont have many friends or anyone who wants to know what i am going through.I just find my self just breaking down and crying.I just want some one to listen and not to judge me.

[Matchy69]

I just take everyday as it comes.Nothing will ever be the same again.Our lived changed for ever.Feeling like I am in a dream that I will wake up from and everything will be back to normal.So many unanswered questions that probably never be answered.Trying to grieve and trying to be strong for the family,crying when their is nobody around.That seems to be the new norm for me.

[Mum52]

Hi Matchy

So sorry you are going through such a hard time. I know you are trying to be supportive to your family but I hope you are getting some support as well. Please try to take care of yourself.

Mum52

[Matchy69]

Hi Mum52 the worst part is not knowing what really happened that night.I don't know if we are getting the full truth.Its a quiten down now the media have moved on but the nightmare continues for all of us.Just know it will hit the headlines again.No ones knows how hard it is for the family when this happens.The nasty comments are so hurtful.They did not know her or what happened but judge on what the media says which some of it is completely wrong.They don't care who they are hurting it's just a story to them that's got to be made to look as bad as possible.Cant have the truth get in the way of a good story.

[mmMekitty]

Hello Matchy,

I am so sorry there has been such a terrible & upsetting situation occuring in your family. It sounds so painful & confusing for you. Not having answers surely makes processing what happened & I think I understan because there are questions I have about my own family that will never be answered, & it's been very hard to accept & move on without answers. It's going to take time.

I hope Victims of Crime are able to help you & your family access whatever support you need.

Even though you cannot talk as openly as you might want to, you may be assured your fellow BB friends here support you. I've seen a lot of caring people in this community & you are part of it.

From my experience with bottling up emotions, & years of learning it's okay to feel, may I suggest you find some outlet for your thoughts & feelings.

There are certainly circumstances when we need to hold back the tears, or whatever strong emotions we feel, but long-term, always disallowing our emotions isn't healthy. This much I've learned.

Reaching out to people you are sure you can trust, good idea. But not via social media 

"No comment" - also wonderful.

Media - don't get me started! I don't need to tell you - you ou know more about how they operate than I do, now. I can only hope they will not pester you & your family so much, but I can't imagine they will be any more respectful than they were already.

Sometimes I really would like to give someone a huge hug , but I'll have to settle for giving you a virtual hug, if you would like.

mmMekitty

[Matchy69]

Things have just got worst for me.I saw the optimertrist Thursday and they told me I have cataracts and am not allowed to drive to I get glasses and will be only able to drive locally and not at night which is going to make things difficult especially with appointments in the big city.

[mmMekitty]

Hello Matchy,

I was wondering if the Optometrist, (or was it an Ophthalmologist?), has said anything to you about removing the cataracts?

But, unfortunately, if you cannot have the cataracts removed, driving is more dangerous. Yes, being restricted to your local area is very inconvenient. No one likes being told they can't do something & that how they do things has to change. I would expect it will take time to adjust to driving less, & if you need to go to the city, you'll need a driver or (I don't know) figure out whatever public transport options you have. 

I feel for you, Matchy, because I know how it feels to be so restricted in being able to go places - rarely not when I want, nor for as long as I want, because I have to rely on having a driver/support worker. I get to feeling trapped in my flat just because I can't simply grab a keys, lock up my flat & drive off, if only to get away from the noise my neighbours insist upon making.

& I have had experience with getting used to a new pair of glasses, especially when the prescription lenses have been different from the older pair. It takes time.  If you've never worn glasses it will be quite a big change.

Hugzies,

mmMekitty

[Mum52]

Hi Matchy 

Sorry you now have things going wrong with your eyesight on top of your other problems. Will your driving still be restricted if you have the cataracts removed? Would you be able to get to the city by public transport if you could drive to a train or bus station. I know sometimes you can arrange for community pick up services if you need to get to medical appointments maybe you could ask your GP about this. I hope this problem can be sorted out for you soon

Take care

Mum52

[Matchy69]

Hi yes the surgery should fix the cataracts but nothing is guaranteed but I am on a waiting list which could take some time.Living in a small country town I haven't any public transport.I did get my glasses and now able to drive in the local area but can't drive at night.Even thought of moving into a retirement village into the larger town but probably not the right time with everything else going on.I will just have to rely on my daughter or ex to driv me to the big city.It is a big change wearing glasses as I never worn them before and really don't like wearing them but will get use to it but hoping I don't need them after surgery.

I had some nice rain here this morning which was good for my tanks as they were getting dry and my garden wl love it but it was cold day.Waiting for spring to come not far away now.I have only had two days of frost this winter so far and they couple of weeks ago so a strange old winter.

[mmMekitty]

Hi Matchy,

It's good to hear you can rely on a couple people to drive you to places you need to go.   I know, it's not easy to be in a position where you need to rely on them for this help. Maybe, while out with them, you could listen to some music together, or have some good converstations while with them. I mean, I don't know what your relationship is like with these people, so I'm just wondering if this could be an opportunity to strengthen these relationships?

I really hope you don't have to continue to wear glasses after you have the surgery. But, it might not be so bad, because while you wait for however long, you may get used to wearing them anyway. & there are some very attractive frames out to choose from. 

I had a little rain where I live, too, but I don't have water tanks to worry about.  I simply enjoyed the fresh smell the rain brings. & yes, even here in SEQld the wind felt like it had come directly from the Antarctic. 

Hugzies,

mmMekitty