I feel so alone,i dont have many friends or anyone who wants to know what i am going through.I just find my self just breaking down and crying.I just want some one to listen and not to judge me.
I feel pretty stupid today as I saw my ex today as she had me and one of the twins over for lunch and I gave her flowers and chocolates as it was our anniversary and she didn't know what the day was.I feel like I should be doing something on an anniversary even though we are not together.
I seem to prefer winter days to the warmer weather.I seem to get more depressed and can't do much in the heat especially the way my health is.
I saw the specialist a couple of weeks ago at the hospital.The ultra sound showed something we have to keep as n eye on.See the specialist in 6 months time and do the same test again.
I saw something that I wish I hadn't .My friend looked so happy and I am so miserable crying regretting my stupidness.I miss my friend so much the conversations and now I have nobody.Just a memory of what a friendship was.
Tomorrow will be a day of mourning for me as lot of people will be celebrating maby think about the ones who are struggling and who have lost loved ones and who are alone.
The saddest as I wake up at 2am this morning knowing it was 8 years ago today.The one person I always had in my life was gone just like that.I will spend it alone thinking of you and memories of my childhood so long ago.
I feel like I am just used by my ex and this time as a cash machine.I get a text late in the day saying my daughter's cat is sick and I have to take it to the vet and the only vet open is one the 24hr one in the big town.I have to go and pick my daughter and cat up that is in the opposite direction and then go all the way in town.I will do anything for my daughter or an animal.Her cat is going to be alright after staying in overnight.I didn't even get a thankyou from my ex or nothing.It would be nice to be appreciated once in awhile.
I had a visit from my brother today like I always see him after Christmas .I been trying to contact him earlier and found out why.It has scared me and made me feel really more depressed about the covid situation now and the vaccines.My brother ended up in ICU after having his jab.I almost lost him.Then I felt annoyed that know one let me know.I seem to be always the last to be told anything.My brother seems to be ok and that's the main thing.
On this day the most wonderful woman I ever met was born.I net her many years ago now when I was young and full of hope for the future.I met her by mistaken identity at jury duty and fell in love with her the moment she spoke to me little did I know she fell in love with me to.I never spoken to girls before and didn't think a girl would ever like me or fall in love with me.She had a boyfriend when I met her a well known politician so I never considered she would like me in that way.It was a few years later I learnt that she he had broken off with this politician as she was in love with me but thought I didn't feel the same so she went to Africa to help the poor.When she came back go Australia she contacted me and not long after coming back she developed a Meloni and soon later passed away.I never thought such a caring beautiful girl could ever like me.Girks told me I was ugly in school and laughed and made fun of me.I had Autism and a speech impediment why would girl ever like me.I met a girl a few years later had kids with her but she slept around and seemed to be only interested in my money as she liked to spend it.I always think of that most amazing girl I met as a very young man and I will never forget her kindness and beauty.Now my hair is grey and the years have passed by she will always be in my heart.My tears are just falling like rain from the sky.She would understand and know where that came from.I miss you so much.
I poured my heart out on this thread but no one cared or listened.Only the popular people get replied to it seems.I will continue my memories and have a good crybin private.How life could have been so different for me.
