how do i stop crying

[Matchy69]

I feel so alone,i dont have many friends or anyone who wants to know what i am going through.I just find my self just breaking down and crying.I just want some one to listen and not to judge me.

[Aaronsis]

Hi Mark

I love a great game of footy, can be any team really but a close game is usually a really good one! I love to hear that you are happy to beat the Hawks..our rival team...lol...and it is funny how even after a long period of time we want to seek justice for certain games we get thrashed by, or grand finals that are lost.

That is brilliant that you were able to find someone to suit Allabama's needs for her driving lesson. I will be so interested to hear how she went and how she found the lesson. That is really great that we are starting to get some fantastic services in the community.

OH MY! 4am and then up early..that would have been really hard Mark and especially when you are not feeling the best either, this must have taken some real patience and strength to manage that one, you are such a great dad you really are and those kids are so very lucky to have you.

I am soo pleased to hear that the naughty little kitten was found. It is funny as when the removalists were talking to me last weekend they said that they had a job that took 2hours, but then proceeded to take another 5 hours to find a missing cat!! The cat was terrified by all the commotion in the house with the move and took off apparently, but they said that they found it hiding behind the washing machine!!!..in the truck......sigh! That little kitten does sound very cute and I am so glad that it was found safe and well.

How are you feeling today? How is your recovery coming along? I hope that you are starting to feel much better and that you can start to feel like your self again really soon. Although the idea of being curled up in front of the fire does sound very appealing to be honest. I was feeling so very tired last night and was in bed at 8am, it was so nice to just be able to rest and to get some sleep.

The sun is out here this afternoon which makes me feel happy, I think we are in for some wet weather in the next few days, which makes me feel even more jealous of that fire...lol

Hugs to you my friend and hope you are doing well.

Sarah xxx

[Matchy69]

Hi Sarah my daughter's driving lesson was ok in the end but I was not one bit happy with the instructor at all.Firstly he turned up in a manual car when I had asked him if it was automatic and he said yes it will be automatic.When I said to him when he showed up in a manual that he said it was automatic he said he will change gears for her and don't worry about it so begrudgly let her go.They did 2 hours of highway driving and merging and lane changing.I wanted her to do more driving in town and parking which is what he said he would do but I know why he did mostly highway driving because the car was manual.I paid a lot of money for double lesson so I am not happy.

Hows your week been ?I hope you are doing ok.

We are just out of the lock down area here and mask wearing but when I went into town the other day all the staff in the shops were wearing mask and I forgot to log in at the shopping centre so we're a lot of people.Not sure how successful this logging on will be.

Looks like a wet couple of days here.We have had a lot of good rain here this year.

The footy game will be good to watch we are playing each other.Maby a draw for us lol.

Take care,

Mark.

[Aaronsis]

Hi Mark

I feel really proud of Alabama that she was able to still have her lesson albeit that the car was not automatic and also that it was not what she was expecting. That was really brave of her as manuals can be pretty daunting. It was pretty poor on the instructors part to arrive with a manual though after you had made it perfectly clear you wanted an automatic, that could have gone very bad for him. What is the plan now for her lessons? As you say, they are not cheap and you most certainly want to get the most out of them for both her and for you too. I hope you are feeling ok about this.

Yes I hear you with the whole QR code situation and checking in to every place you go, it is annoying but I get why they are doing it. We have relaxed some what with our restrictions here too but are still wearing masks inside which is frustrating, but once again, I understand.

Looking forward to the game tonight my friend..it is you against me..hahahaha...I am not really sure what to expect after our poor performance last week, I think it is a game of who is best on the night really so lets see. Good luck and may the best team win....(fingers crossed it is me..lol)

I am looking forward to some rest this weekend, although my son has some mates over tomorrow night to celebrate his birthday so that will be a bit full on, but fun for him I hope.

The weather is supposed to be bad so I just hope that they don't walk mud all through my house..sigh....ahh well what can you do really!

Have a great weekend my friend and hope you are up to something nice too.

Hugs as always

Sarah xxx

[Matchy69]

Hi Sarah I hope you managed to have good weekend and your son enjoyed himself.Was a bit of a disappointing game for us against you Friday after a great first quarter.

My son has a specialist appointment this afternoon and just had a bit of a discussion about it with my ex but she didn't seem to listen to anything I said and knocked back my ideas.

I wish I was stronger for my daughter and not let someone walk all over me.I should have demanded my money back.No wonder he wanted me to do a direct bank transfer before the lesson.I will have to find another instructor.It is really hard to find anyone to come out here.

I have been making cordial out of my lemons and Tangelos and will make some more marmalade.

A really frosty morning here and still freezing cold.The cold makes me feel comfortable.Seems much easier to warm myself up then to cool myself down.

Take care,

Mark.

[Aaronsis]

Hey Mark

Here is the cake!! I am pretty proud of how it turned out and my son had a really great time with his friends so that was all I cared about...a heap of work but all so he is happy..you know the drill!

Yes well the footy was a bit of a runaway game but don't forget we have had many games like that too, I actually don't think you guys are doing too badly this year! I really enjoy watching MacDonald Tipungwuti play, he is so fast when he runs and is such an awesome athlete.

Sorry that things are not smother with your ex and that the communication is not simpler, especially around things like medical appointments and decisions with the kids health, I am sure it is so very frustrating for you Mark.

Looking back with the car driving lesson, I think it actually turned out to be ok that Alabama went. She could have quite easily refused but she didn't, she also got to experience being out of her comfort zone and trying something she was totally not expecting so while it was certainly not what you paid for or what you wanted, I kind of think it turned out to be an experience for her. I hope you can find another person though that is suitable and what you originally wanted for her, it does sound tricky if you are fairly remote, but I am sure not impossible as you are a great dad and will go to the ends of the earth for her.

WOW, the cordial sounds so delicious, I am sure it is a mix of tart and sweet which would be so yummy. You are a real wizz in the kitchen, you are so very clever!

I totally agree in that it is far easier to warm up than it is to cool off, I love a wintery day with rain and a fire and just being able to sit and be warm and do not much, the perfect reason to stay inside and just take it easy.

I went to the movies to see Cruella the other night, if you get the chance to see it you so should, it is so wonderful and the music and the costumes is just amazing, I really really loved it.

Chat soon my friend and enjoy the coolness that these wintery days bring.

Hugs

Sarah xx

[Matchy69]

Hi Sarah your cake looked amazing well done.I am glad your son's birthday went well.

Another cold windy day here.Just enjoying the fire today.

Tipu is one of my favourite players when he's playing well.Always good to watch.He looked a bit unfit last season but looks good this season.We are just not quiet there this season.Can play some good footy at times but not being really consistent at the moment.

I haven't been to the movies for a few years now.I use to take my daughter but hard to when I have my son.

My son's appointment went ok with no change to any medication or treatment.This morning my son threw his iPad and broke that.He had been doing well and not throwing anything.I meant to have a meeting with the school when it goes back next week to talk about communicating strategies for my son and that he can take into high school.

I hope you are having an ok week.

Take care,

Your friend,

Mark.

[Matchy69]

Just seemed to be a long lonely weekend for me.Was not feeling the best mentally and physically.It would be nice to have someone to chat to and take my mind off my mental problems.

[Matchy69]

Watching a movie that reminds me so much of my friend and it's making me cry so much.I shouldn't put my self through this torture but I probably deserve it.

[Aaronsis]

Hi Mark

I am so sorry that your weekend was tough, you most certainly do not deserve any of these feelings that you struggle with, you don't deserve the loneliness that you feel and you don't deserve to be in such sadness. I know how hard this is for you and I wish I knew the words to say or the things to type to make you feel better or to at the very least make you see what I see, a very caring and very wonderful human.

Thank you for your kind words on my cake, it was a challenge and I don't think I will be up to doing that each year..so I hope he will be happy with a regular cake next year..in saying that he is turning 18 so who knows what he will want.

I hope you can get to see a movie at some point soon, and especially something as wonderful as Cruella, it was really good soul food as I said, I wonder if your daughter would like it too?

Were you able to get the ipad fixed or is it a new one that is required? I feel for him as the struggle he must go through V's how he expresses himself is hard, and hard for you too. Also very hard to be understanding when things like this happen too as ipads are not cheap.

One of my cats has run away and I am torn between feeling so very angry that she feels she just wants to take of and also very sad that she has left, also worried that something has happened to her V's what if she is with someone else and they are keeping her. Urrgg so frustrating and worrying. She has done this once before and two weeks later just walked in the back door like nothing was wrong...I am hopeful of the same again.

Well I am off to have some soup for lunch as it is absolutely freezing here today and the wind makes it feel that much more cold.

Warm hugs to you my friend.

Sarah xxxx

[Matchy69]

Hi Sarah thanks for your kind words.I think the lonelyness of it all gets to me at times and regrets I have in my life.

I am really sorry one your cats has disappeared.The unknowing where they are is really hard.My daughters cat that she has at her mother's disappears for days at a time and then just strolls back in.When I was a kid our cat I think use to visit one of the neighbours and use to come home with its fur clipped and things.My neighbour who's cat I ended up with as they stopped feeding it have another cat.I saw it in there in their window.So I might end up with another cat lol.

At least I had a win on Friday night footy.It was good to see and young Archie Perkins looks like he's going to be a superstar for us.

I am feeling very unwell today.I might just stay in bed.i haven't even checked if we got frost here this morning.

Take care,

Mark.