how do i get started im so confused

[willdo]

not sure how , were to get involved with the forums. please help

[Aaronsis]

Congratulations on staying away from the alcohol, that is a massive achievement and also one that will help in your journey to wellness William. Alcohol can really prevent good things from happening in your progress.

About the movies, can you pin point what it is exactly, is it perhaps the journey to the cinema, or the standing in a line to purchase tickets, is it perhaps being in the dark in a confined room. I am by no means pushing you here but perhaps if you can identify with what element of the experience is causing you anxiety we can perhaps work through that so that you can have a wonderful time and be with your family, how happy you would be to do that and how happy they would be to have you join them. You may not know what element is causing you fear or anxiety and that is fine also. Dont think too long and hard about it and get yourself into a state, afterall baby steps is the key and you have done that today, so proud of you!!! The movies will always be there and you can manage that another time.

I bet that lamb is smelling amazing!

Hugs William xx

Sarah xx

[willdo]

Hi ,

about the movies its mostly coming home late and starting my nightly OCD again and fear i'll have a wrestles night as mentioned before.

and yes the lamb smells great.

William

[Aaronsis]

Yum..I am very jealous as roast lamb is the best!!

Ok, so am I right in that the fear is that you are going to be awake all night and cannot get to sleep, so the earlier that you go to bed you feel like you have done the task and are asleep now so you can rest, sort of like a race to get to bed in fear you wont sleep?

It will take a whole lot of self talk and strength Will but I think you can do it. How about telling yourself that you are allowed to go out and enjoy a night with your family and that when you get home you can go to bed and you will sleep as a reward for getting out of the house and doing an activity. That you will sleep and that you deserve some time to have fun and peace. You tell yourself you will, you will sleep, you will be tired after cooking today and fixing the fence and you will enjoy the movie and then come home and have a sleep. It is alot of self talk but I think you are stronger than you realize. I even had this thought about it too, what if you took another car, I am not sure if you have two or even if you drive, but you could go and leave when you felt you needed to, even if you went for 30 mins would be a huge achievement???

You are so brave and I am so happy for you for the two things you have done today, this is really fantastic and I hope you feel good about you too.

Hugs

Sarah xx

[willdo]

Hi,

No movies for me last night. as soon as they left i jumped in bed. it was so uncomfortable for a while i took medication , before i knew it they were back i said hello and went straight back to bed.

I'll try harder next time , not sure what it is about me and this sleeping thing.

thank you again

William

[Aaronsis]

Hey William

I am so proud of all the things you managed to achieve yesterday, do not beat yourself up about the movies, baby steps, you cannot climb the mountain in one day. That is great that you got up to chat and say hi though, fantastic.

I was thinking of you last night and how the roast was received by the family and how did your wife react to the gate being fixed? So proud of you!

Today is a whole new day and you can go tell that anxiety to "GO JUMP"..and see what little thing you can conquer today....

You are making such good progress and this is not easy but you are choosing you and choosing life and I am so happy for you.

Hugs as always

Sarah

[willdo]

hi Sarah.

today's 2 things done thanks to your "go away anxiety" mantra .

-my wife asked if i can drop something off to her at work , i panicked, its raining , my anxiety soared. tried to make excuses and get out of it. But with self talk and assurance i did it.

-whilst out i stopped at the chemist and dropped off a script, something i have been contemplating for over a week and wanting my wife to do it for me.

I survived

exposure therapy-psychologist always talks about but he never pushed me to do it . perhaps because i have many other MH issues and keep taking in him around in circles.

i just wish my mood and OCD can get better. not sure if to try and contact my psychiatrist or wait till the 1/2

again thank you

William

[Aaronsis]

OH William..this is truly so very wonderful and I am so happy for you.

This is not "thanks to my mantra" ...this is all you my friend..this is you standing up to that bully in your head trying to hold you down.

Wow, I am so happy for you and your wife must have been so happy to see you and so very proud that you could drop off something to her at work, despite the internal noise and the 100 reasons "why not to"..you did it, you got up and chose you..well done.

Yes you did survive and you did it and even going to the chemist, another task that you have been putting off and today you stood up and accepted it. That is so very brave and I am so proud of you William.

This is not easy and I am in no way trying to make light of this situation, what you did was so hard for you and you shut that noise down and did it and that is so strong and so awesome.

I am not sure what to tell you about contacting the psychologist, I think only you can answer that one. How are these wins making you feel? Do you think in some small way you are feeling somewhat more at peace or at least a small amount of joy that you are achieving something so brave?

Anxiety is a beast and needs to be shut down and tamed...it speaks lies and it talks untruths....you are so much stronger than you realize William and I am so happy that you have taken back some small part of you over the past two days...congratulations.

Enormous hugs to you

Sarah xx

[willdo]

Hi

I hate this time of the day, i used to start drinking or nag my wife to go play the pokies, didn't care about the consequences which were major till the next day.since the operation i decided to stop (somehow i did), smoking, drinking, gambling .

i now it sounds ridiculous but sometimes i wish i can go back there as the pain,boredom this time of the night is unbearable lately especially in the last few months (when they decided to change my meds, cannot wait to go to bed)

my head is like a tumble dryer "why me", "when the medication will start working","should i ring doctor or beyond blue" my mind never veers away to anything positive.

i needed to post this , sorry.

William

[willdo]

Hi Sarah, hope all is well.

my psychiatrist rang me this morning (was not expected). I explained how i'm feeling and that the current medication are not really working.

He is keeping the current medication and dose but adding a new medication to it (another one , my God). he argued strongly against going back to the original i had for 20 years.

I'm so anxious about another medication and the extra cost ($40 not covered), he is faxing the script to my chemist on Monday.

William

[Aaronsis]

Good Morning William

Sorry for the late response, it was my birthday yesterday and had some dinner plans and then donated blood this morning.

That is really positive that your doctor rang and also that he has a plan for you, I get it that another pill is somewhat overwhelming but if it means peace and that you can move forward in your life then that is wonderful. The cost is alot and that is tough too..but I feel positive that he has a plan for you, that is great.

How are you feeling today? I wanted to say about your message yesterday, dont ever apologize for coming on and venting and chatting and getting it off your chest, that is what we are here for, to help through these tough times. If it helps to dump it here then that is fantastic too.

Have you got any plans to do something fun today, something that you can feel good about you???

Just about to have a coffee with my mum so be back soon.

Huge hugs

Sarah xxx