First Time User, Needing Help

[B3LL3]

Hello, 

I have taken the step last night to reach out to beyond blue and get the help I really need. It took a long time for me to get to this stage and needing to admit I need the help. 
I have so many pressing issues which has caused the pain I am in today and not really sure the right place to go to. 

Would love to talk to anyone I can about stuff. 

Thankyou 

[B3LL3]

Thankyou Summer Rose. 

I need help, I need to change my thoughts about my life and about my self worth, I need to put all my broken pieces back together. 
I want to be back to being Me. 
I’m not very good at speaking up to get help so I’ll give it my best. 

I had a wonderful childhood and was a very happy go lucky kid. Unfortunately when I got older life got a bit harder. I lost alot of loved ones to death some including suicide. 
I have lost alot of friends who I thought were my best mates and I could trust but unfortunately they took advantage of my helpful nature and I stood up for myself and ended up being the enemy. 
I have been called every name under the sun, I have been told to end my life cause people would be alot happier if I wasn’t around. 
im not stranger to heart break or being criticised and being made to be a failure but it is getting harder to push it aside and getting harder to not listen to it. I HONESTLY FEEL LIKE IM NEVER GOOD ENOUGH 

[geoff]

Hello B3LL3, sometimes deep down we know we want help but there are times when we are frightened to open up to people who may or may not be responsive, that's part of the illness.

You need to start where you feel comfortable, but you still could be frightened which is quite normal, so take it as it comes, even if you readily see a psych and feel they are doing a great job, you still could scared going into a session, let them help you.

Geoff.

Life Member.

[mmMekitty]

Hi B3LL3

Yes, it has helped to come here & to be able to work through some of my own thoughts & feelings. I have found it is important to have someone to talk to. I didn't talk to anyone for a very long time, not until a crisis, when I decided I needed to get professional help from a psychiatrist. Even so, I wrote a lot of my thoughts & feelings into something like a diary, just to get the thoughts & feelings out onto the page, so I could get a break & sleep. I also took to painting for the same reason, when finding words seemed not enough, when it was an image in my mind. That helped too. But after being with a psychiatrist for a while, slowly beginning to talk to him, I realised how useful it is to have a person hearing & listening to me.

Later, I began to understand my feelings & thoughts are important. Most of the thoughts & feelings I had been listening to in my head were like recordings of what other people said to me & how they made me feel.

I'm learning still, what do I feel, what do I think of me, in particular. Not what someone else says. That's their opinion. I don't have to accept their opion. Just because they say something does dnot make it right or true.

Being here on BB, I have felt my own self-worth improve. It feels really good to think someone appreciate & is helped by anything I've said. Sometimes, I think, if I can bring a smile to someone's face, a bright spot in a dismal day, that is something that builds my own sense of value & lifts my self-esteem. The basic fact that I am willing to try to talk to you (& anyone reading), is a measure to me, of how much better I am feeling about myself. I didn't think of anything like this ten years ago. Very slowly, working with my current psychiatrist, I am more confident, not wonderfully so, but much better than I was.

I hope I don't make any upsetting mistakes in my posts. I worry over that because I care. What I post may matter more to you than I might ever know, so I try to take care in what I say.

I tried joining another site, long ago, & I am aware I didn't put in as much thought as I do now when I post here.

Coming to BB shows me you do care for yourself. In what you've written, you care for your partner, fur baby & family, too.

I would like to talk more. It's not easy for me to be here very often, but I will try.

Hugzies

mmMekitty

[B3LL3]

Hello Geoff,

Thankyou so much for your kind words and advice it’s helpful. 

I really hope you’re doing well. 

best wishes

[B3LL3]

Hey Mmkitty, 

that’s really positive to hear that this has helped out and you are on the right journey. 
I completely understand not getting help till it’s too late, it’s not easy asking for help and I think that’s why a lot of people don’t do it. IT AINT WEAK TO SPEAK. 
I love that you found little outlets like journal writing and painting to get those thoughts out and sounds like a nice idea to find something that may assist me like a hobby as well. 
im really glad that you had found a person who you were comfortable in talking to as well and it has really made a difference in your life. People don’t understand how much words hurt and how much they stick in ur head. How they can make u feel so low and degraded. 
None of what you have said has upset me in anyway, it made me emotional hearing how far u have come and still have to come but your working so hard to be the person you want to be and truly gives me hope I can do the same. 
I would love to talk whenever as well I’m more than happy to. 
Bless your precious Heart ❤️ 

[Summer Rose]

B3LL3

I’m really sorry to hear about all the loss you have experienced, either through death or relationships breaking down. I know from my own life how challenging it can be to work through these types of issues.

I want you to know that you are good enough, just the way you are. And I believe it is possible for you to believe it and heal.

The events that have occurred in your life are not a reflection of you, but rather a series of common events that unfortunately occur in all of our lives. Everyone must confront loss in their lives.

I think it’s important to remember that just because you have a thought, that doesn’t make it true.  Our minds lie to us all the time! But there are skills you can learn to help you stop listening to your thoughts, as I think right now you may be giving those thoughts far too much weight and power.

One of the ways to learn how to manage these thoughts is to work with a mental health professional. Have you tried this in the past? Is this something you would be open to?

Kind thoughts to you