FESTIVE SEASON STRUGGLES

[Doolhof]

Season's Greetings everyone.

We have a lovely cheery Christmas and New Years thread started up in the Social Zone. Hope you can drop by there and share some joy and happiness.

This is the alternate thread, where you can share the not so pleasant memories of Christmas or the concerns you may have for Christmas 2016.

For me, my depressive brain decides to hassle me about Christmas in November! That is so unnecessary! I need to break this habit!

So on this thread you can share the negative and hopefully find a positive at the end.

You might like to share what the worst present was that you ever received, or how sad and miserable you are at Christmas.

By sharing, we may well be able to help and support each other through a time that can be very tough for some.

This is the place to vent, the thread on the Social Zone is also waiting for you to add your happy thoughts and memories of Christmas and New Years.

Thinking of you all, hugs from Mrs. Dools

[girl_interrupted]

Thats a great idea Mrs D! I like your suggestion to Moon to wear earplugs. I often do that when I remember to take my headphones - just zone out to a fave tune while I'm out shopping. Helps me to relax and get the job done without too much drama.

[Shred1106]

Evening all

It's becoming more real for me now - picked up our OS currency today and still have to get through an anniversary before we fly out in a fortnight. I hate Christmas - it's fallen apart since we lost Mum and Dad and our family is not together anymore. I still have to work on so many things just to get through it.I suppose though I will be in another country - but far from friends who make it easier to manage.

In my work I have given to others which is easy - but I am all out of giving or receiving right now..just so tired and can't really get excited that much..

[Doolhof]

Hi Ekakat,

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Is that a photo of your cat? Does the picture show how you feel about Christmas and other supposedly joyous occasions?

I'm already thinking I want to do Christmas differently next year. I feel like other people tell me what I am doing for Christmas, so I am going to start early and make plans for next year now!

For a bit of a laugh, Google "Cats and Christmas Trees" there are some really funny clips to watch.

No matter what you do over the next few weeks, I hope you keep safe and look after yourself.

Cheerio for now, from Mrs. Dools

[Doolhof]

Hi Shred,

As the count down to your trip is fast approaching, can you make times to catch up with some of your friends before you go away? It doesn't have to be "For Christmas" just a catch up. Also is it possible for you to stay connected with friends while you are away?

I have so many hang ups around my Mum and Christmas, you can have my Mum if you like! LOL. I am not wanting to make fun at all in your loss or in anyone else's loss at this time, or any time of year. It is just so hard with my Mum.

Right, back to you Shred, in the mornings can you think of one positive and nice thing you can do for yourself sometime during the day. It might be taking the time to go for a walk, buying something special for a meal, having a coffee while reading the paper/book/magazine, soaking your feet in warm water with marbles to rub your feet on, or any other activity that will give you a little boost.

The other day I picked flowers from the garden to bring inside. I found time to sit and read a book. I played card games to keep my mind active. I went for an invigorating walk in very strong wind and that helped me to feel alive and fresh.

Regarding the Anniversary, can you do something special on that day to honour your memories? When it was our (deceased) son's 21st birthday, I bought a cake, had candles and matches, went to park, sang him happy birthday, cried, ate some cake and went for a long walk.

It felt good and horrible at the same time. In the end I was thankful I had done something.

Thinking of you Shred, and sorry once again for making fun of Mothers. My sister refers to our Mum as a sleeping crocodile. You never know when she will snap or if it is safe to approach her!

Cheers for now, sending you heaps of hugs and a shoulder to cry on if you need it, from Mrs. Dools

[Doolhof]

Hi Girl-interrupted,

Just yesterday a lady in the Opportunity shop where I am presently volunteering stated she was very disappointed to not hear Christmas carols being played while out and about this year! I had a little chuckle to myself! Ha. Ha. The lady then put on the Christmas CD in the shop. I was serving at the time and actually enjoyed some of the songs, others made me want to cry.

People were coming in looking for gifts they could afford for family and friends. One young boy was so very excited his Mum was able to afford to buy three bon-bons, that didn't even match! The smile on his gorgeous little face was amazing.

So many people are doing it tough in so many ways. My heart goes out to everyone.

Love, hugs and a shoulder to cry on to all who are struggling right now!

[Kazzl]

Hi grinches 😄 and non-grinches (grinners?) OK if I join in?

Mrs Dools what a very fine thread this is! Go you! (To Bali if you insist.)

Well, it's finally beaten me. Despite my determination to live in my own reality and ignore Christmas, I finally have to accept that It's Coming.

Shred, Moon, ekat and GI and anyone I've missed, I'm with you guys. The manufactured joy, commercially construed gift giving designed to line the pockets of retailers, the mandatory ham and turkey - and plum pudding erk, blergh! - leave me cold.

I'm not religious so the 'true' meaning bypasses me (I often wish I was at Christmas so at least it could mean something). And I have a split/blended family, so working out who's going to have Christmas where is always stressful.

But nothing, nothing compares to the shops at Christmas. My idea of hell. Last year I did all my gift buying online. Sadly I've left it a bit late this year (in my denial that Christmas was approaching). So, I will have to brave the shops on Monday. If I can get through that without throwing something, I will have done well. Might need a cup of tea and a little lie down afterwards.

You know there is one positive thing about Christmas - Boxing Day. I love Boxing Day. Sydney to Hobart and cricket on the tele. The rule in my house is everyone for themselves on BD, do whatever you like. Just don't bother me on the couch in front of the tele. 😄

OK, that's my vent. Love to you all.

Kaz

xx

[Doolhof]

Hi Kaz,

Welcome! Sounds like you have come tot the right place regarding Christmas feelings! Ha. Ha.

For me the sad thing is that I would love to celebrate Christmas in our home or at my sister's places or friend's homes.

Over the decades I have invited family to our place Christmas Day but for one reason or another they have not come. Parents have said it is because we don't have Grandchildren here for them to be with. Both sisters always had their husband's families to connect with.

I had thought that for one year in 3 decades the family could have made the effort to have Christmas in our home. We have been here there and everywhere to catch up with them and some years have not been invited at all.

This year I was going to invite friends here for Christmas in the afternoon and evening. I was going to attend Church, I love the Christian Christmas story. I love the Christmas carols even though they make me cry. I was going to help out with the Church Christmas lunch.

Now my husband has planned this trip to Bali. Lovely yes. Out of my control yes.

My husband has also told me I am not allowed to buy gifts for anyone and can not send cards. It is like the last bit of Christmas cheer I might have had has been taken from me.

This festive season has really done my head in. My Dr. wanted to put me in hospital when I saw him last week. I promised him I wouldn't do anything stupid or permanent.

So each day now I try to make the most of my time. I will write out some cards when my husband is asleep and post them with out him knowing. I think he hates Christmas more than I do, but he doesn't have to totally destroy it for me!

Bah Humbug! The Festive Season! What a load of manure! Ha. Ha. At least manure is good for the garden!

Cheers for now all, from Mrs. Dools

[Shred1106]

Thanks so much Mrs Dools for your kind words yet again.

I have a few appointments on the day of the anniversary itself but, as for keeping in touch with friends while away I will have very limited access to emails and the like. As the time gets closer I am working hard on some sort of plan to get through the days. I know we will be delivering things to those less fortunate and that will be a highlight but I will be stuck with one of my family members who will never understand.

As my meds are still not at what they say is therapeutic levels - I am concerned I won't manage but, I guess I can send a message to my psychologist if I need to (she has already said I could).

These blasted disorders rule your life and make celebrating anything near impossible.

I shall really have to focus on those I come across who are less fortunate and try and see the happiness that they might get out of receiving.

I must remember though that one of those who I am travelling with is my favourite niece - she is wise beyond her years...we do lots together and she takes me as I am with no expectations. I love her dearly and she is one of the main reasons why I am still here.

I am trying to avoid the shops now...far too much hype and craziness..and that's fairly easy because I am not out a lot at present. That's something I am working on too..

So, let's hope a plane trip is not an issue and I can relax, take time to remember those no longer with us, and get some Vit D.

This Shred is not going to be draped in tinsel! Baa Humbug

[Moonstruck]

You lucky people who are flying away for C Day!! How wonderful. (Be careful of suspicious looking white powder in Bali Mrs Dools...come back safely...I would be too scared to go there! But then, I'm too scared to go shopping at this time of year too.)

I recall a friend telling me that one year she had missed Christmas Day entirely.....on a plane...flying between countries, something to do with the date line or whatever....said she took to the skies on Christmas Eve and landed in another country on Boxing Day! How fabulous is that!!!

She was overjoyed to discover this was possible...but wait!...oh no, the onboard airline staff couldn't let all the passengers miss Christmas could they??

Oh no, when it was Christmas Day "somewhere down there" the attendants all put their silly hats on, made everyone sing carols, tossed a bit of tinsel around etc.........see? You can hide all you like....it's no use, there's no escaping it!

[Starwolf]

Great thread for all those out there who dread the so-called festive season.

I am blessed that my (dysfunctional) family lives on the other side of the planet. My daughter will be overseas. And there's no way Xmas will find me in this remote, isolated area. No jingle bells within cooee and not a scrap of tinsel in sight. Only an ex Xmas tree long planted out in the paddock, standing tall and bauble free among hundreds of other trees.

My thoughts will be with you all...I remember those days of compulsory celebrations all too well. I wish I could invite you in my wilderness to celebrate our escape from seasonal madness. I'm sure it would be an interesting and entertaining gathering...

One of my recent joyful moments has been watching my German Shepherd rip a Santa dog toy to shreds and tufts of white stuffing. One of his well-meaning fans' gifts. It lasted all of 2 minutes if that. It took me much longer to pick up hundreds of widely scattered pieces but tossing the remains in the incinerator made the effort worthwhile. Good to send Santa UP the chimney for a change...gone in a puff of smoke !