FESTIVE SEASON STRUGGLES

[Doolhof]

Season's Greetings everyone.

We have a lovely cheery Christmas and New Years thread started up in the Social Zone. Hope you can drop by there and share some joy and happiness.

This is the alternate thread, where you can share the not so pleasant memories of Christmas or the concerns you may have for Christmas 2016.

For me, my depressive brain decides to hassle me about Christmas in November! That is so unnecessary! I need to break this habit!

So on this thread you can share the negative and hopefully find a positive at the end.

You might like to share what the worst present was that you ever received, or how sad and miserable you are at Christmas.

By sharing, we may well be able to help and support each other through a time that can be very tough for some.

This is the place to vent, the thread on the Social Zone is also waiting for you to add your happy thoughts and memories of Christmas and New Years.

Thinking of you all, hugs from Mrs. Dools

[MarkJT]

An amazingly tough, resilient and strong woman you are Mrs Dools.

Fantastic idea for a thread.

Much respect.

Mark.

[Doolhof]

Hi Mark,

Thanks. I really do struggle big time this time of year. I'm experiencing many deep and horrible lows right now so am trying my hardest to claw my way back up to the light and to try and think positive thoughts around Christmas.

This is a time when I really feel the loss of our babies. They didn't even get to live. To me they are so real and my heart grieves so deeply this time of year. I have so longed for decades to see my own children rip open their gifts at Christmas and to share that time with them.

In the spirit of what I wrote above, I have shared one of my negative thoughts about the festive season, now I will share a positive: my younger sister has always ensured I see her children at Christmas and all through the year. For that I am ever so thankful.

In the pain I can still find many blessings.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Mrs Dools

Great thread - I think Christmas season can be such a tough time for people because we've got to "put on a happy face" which is often easier said than done!

I had a think and there's probably two big reasons that I'm struggling this year. First one is money - definately harder at Christmas time with gift giving and what not, and also health issues - one of those things that doesn't seem to go away.

As for the worst present - surely any present is a good one? Although I did get a giant piece of exercise equipment which was accompanied by "because you're fat and need to lose weight". That was a bit of a downer.

Oh, and as for the 'silver lining' I think it would be that it helps show the year is ending. It's been a hard year for me so saying farewell and bringing on hopefully a better new year will be the blessing in disguise 🙂

[Sandy centre]

Infertility really affects me because Christmas is all about kids and when you can't or don't have them it's very stressful around family and friends who do x

[geoff]

dear Mrs. Dools,I can well and truly feel the pain that you must be going through, my heart breaks for you and the sorrow which you are feeling, I am just so sorry for you, because every year the same thoughts and tears come to you to only torment you with all those lovely thoughts which you had so wished for.
One year to ten years doesn't mean anything because each year the same memories and grief are still the same, and unfortunately this doesn't seem to be any better.
I have hated Xmas time once my Mum was put into a nursing home and that was well over twenty five years ago, but I had two sons who always loved this time, so I had to pretend to them that I was also excited, but being depressed, boy, that was so hard.
Now I have two little granddaughters so now I once again have to pretend that Father Christmas is coming down the chimney and joy them in their excitement, but I haven't been to any Xmas parties for such a long time so I have been aloof, now I'm not asked.
I hope Mrs. Dools you know that we are all holding you up over this period, and this applies to you Sandy centre as well. Love Geoff. xx

[Doolhof]

Hi Romantic_thi3f,

Illness and lack of finances can be a burden anytime, at Christmas and Birthdays it can feel like more of a hindrance and burden.

My older sister lived on a farm for many years. They struggled financially. She would bake biscuits as Christmas gifts or try to make something out of what ever she could find. I treasured her gifts.

I have scoured Op Shops for potential gifts as well. Or tried to make something myself.

The exercise equipment was lovely, but the note was not really needed! Ha. Ha.

My dear husband gave me a frying pan on our first Christmas. I didn't think it was all that romantic! Ha. Ha.

It can be positive to say goodbye to one year and look forward to the next. I also hope you can remember some happier moments and events of this year.

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools

[Doolhof]

Hi Sandy centre,

I totally understand how you feel about not having children at Christmas time especially. For me, I was able to embrace other people's children.

My heart was both breaking and being filled with love at the same time.

I used to enjoy sewing and would make gifts for the children I had in life. One little girl at Church liked hand bags, so I made her some.

Christmas is a tough time. I wish I had the words to write to help you through this season!

Cyber hugs to you from Mrs. Dools

[Doolhof]

Dear Geoff,

Thanks for your lovely words. Some years I a sail through the festive season and really enjoy myself. For some reason I become quite sad and down in November!

I would benefit from more counselling so I will try and organise that through my Dr.

In actual fact though, sharing my thoughts and feelings with people on this forum has been so much more help for for me than counselling as I don't do too well with the face to face bit of counselling.

Another thing regarding Christmas is that I don't always have the opportunity to do what I desire to do at Christmas. Maybe it is the feeling of a lack of control that gets to me as well. Other people dictate what will be happening to a large degree.

Ah! I have just learnt something else about myself!

Will chat again soon, Mum is staying with us and I am taking her to the city for appointments.

Cheerio for now from Mrs. Dools

[Doolhof]

HI Everyone,

Yesterday I drove my Mum to the city for an appointment. She was going to be at least an hour so I decided to go for a walk and headed for Rundle Mall in Adelaide.

I went into a department store and headed for their Christmas section. Their display caused me to have tears in my eyes and I wanted to turn around and leave.

Instead I stayed and admired the ways the Christmas trees were decorated. I went around all the racks and displays of decorations and admired many of them. Some were so gorgeous, and like decorations I have seen in Europe but never here in Australia.

I could have spent hundreds of dollars on decorations! They looked so beautiful. For a moment I had a sense of Christmas joy within my heart!

Cheers all from Dools