Feeling down due to fatigue & undiagnosed health issues

Elizabeth CP · ‎01-12-2016

I haven't been using the forums much apart from a couple of responses to others posts. I stopped as I was too busy & trying to keep up with the forums was becoming too stressful. In September My husband went to Europe which was great although tiring due to the pace of the tour we did. Unfortunately a few days before returning home I fell heavily on concrete steps hurting my right side. I continued on relying on icepacks to manage the pain. I couldn't sleep because of the pain when lying down. The last day I came down with a bad cold which developed into a chest infection later on. The pain eased after 6 weeks & I recovered from the chest infection but have ongoing problems with fatigue & abdominal discomfort. My GP arranged pathology tests. The blood tests are normal but urine isn't. Today I was sent for a ultrasound of kidneys & bladder. Next week I have a gastroscopy & colonoscopy. My stress levels seem to be escalating out of proportion each time I see the GP & get sent for more tests. Prior to my accident my mental health issues were settling down but the last week it is much worse. I have lost my temper a few times in the last week without much provocation. This is not normal for me. I have been on a diet for several months but I am now finding it really hard to stick to it I just want to go & eat food I know will make me feel worse. The diet is a healthy one which I normally find easy to stick to because the food is satisfying.

I just want to get back on track & feel in control of my life & not feel so stressed & down. I also feel guilty for feeling this way because There is no confirmation of a serious illness.

Elizabeth CP · ‎17-09-2018

Things continue to be very busy. We went away for 10 days which was nice but put increased pressure on me. We continue to have a lot of different appointments mainly for my husband. I need to supervise him with his physio & speech exercises which I struggle to find time for.

My daughter is moving next week so I need to help her I'm unsure how to fit everything else into my schedule without getting really stressed

Elizabeth CP · ‎20-10-2018

I am struggling with fatigue. I'm unsure what is wrong. Am I tired from doing too much but resting doesn't seem to help. My mind is still overactive worrying about getting things done. This i setting up a negative cycle as I'm not efficient. Things which should be a break just mean I need to cram everything into a shorter space causing more stress. I am concerned about burning out. I have so much to plan & organise that I can't cope. I feel like others don't understand & feel guilty that I'm not managing better.

Croix · ‎21-10-2018

Dear Elizabeth~

It's nice to hear from you, even if you are not feeling that good.

I know perfectly well you have an awful lot on your plate being a carer and it simply seems to get more encompassing and more taxing. I"m not going to say anything about you about putting extra pressure on top, you can read previous posts if you really want to be nagged:)

Given that the basic situation is not going to go away wiht oyur husbands disabilities what thoughts do you have about mental relief for you - even if only for a few minutes at a time?

Two questions to ask -did you get your fangs fixed, and has your daughter moved?

Croix

Elizabeth CP · ‎21-10-2018

Thanks Croix, My daughter has moved. Unfortunately we will go through the process again next year when they finally get their own house built!!! I found that stressful & always left feeling bad for leaving her in such a state but unable to do any more. Her husband didn't want help other than family which meant I was the only one to help. I'm glad I helped because my daughter needed me and appreciated my help.

My last visit to the dentist was traumatic with treatment setting off PTSD symptoms. I was having a root canal treatment which has taken much longer than it should so I still have to go back for the final session. I have done nothing about the front teeth because is is cosmetic & I can't cope with more dental work. I'd rather continue as I am avoiding photos as I hate being told to smile. My smile is a grimace as I try to hide my teeth.

I promised my psych that I will try to organise regular carers for my husband & will ring about doing dance lessons before the next session. They are both things I keep procrastinating. I hope by having a regular carer my husband will get used to it & be able to do some things I struggle to find time to help him with. I hope it will be easier to arrange extra help when needed. At the moment I find it too hard to find time to arrange help that I do it all myself. If I don't use the NDIS funds I will lose them in future years so I will have no access to help when things go wrong eg I'm unwell or my husband is unwell & needs extra help as happened earlier this year.

I have always loved dancing but my husband isn't very good. It is harder now he is blind so I would like to try dancing lessons to see if we can overcome the barriers so we can enjoy it again.

With all the things going on I seem to have got stuck in a rut struggling to find enjoyment or relaxation in anything. Attempts to overcome this seem to backfire taking up time & creating more stress.

Croix · ‎22-10-2018

Dear Elizabeth~

May I say I found that a most encouraging post becuse you are talking in terms of getting help with you husband and lessening the pressure on you -hooray!

As for dancing lessons, it sounds a very excellent idea, perhaps waltz rather than Zumba, at least at the start:)

Croix

Elizabeth CP · ‎23-10-2018

Thanks Croix. I just wish it wasn't so hard to arrange the things I need. I seem to hit roadblocks all the time & then give in because I don't have the time, energy or resources to persist.

Croix · ‎23-10-2018

Dear Elixabeth~

I've every confidence you (eventually) learn from experience and that will lend you the strength to persevere.

Are you old-fashioned and will go with Mrs Astaire , or perhaps more modern and become Ms Rogers?

Croix

Elizabeth CP · ‎24-10-2018

I'm Old fashioned I hate the term Ms It seemed such a petty thing to refused to be known as Mrs or Miss. We shouldn't be ashamed of our married state!!!

I wish I could find the magic wand to enable my husband to dance latin American dances properly. I cringe watching his body move so awkwardly. He never go it when he could see so I don't think he's going to be better now he's blind!!!! At least he's willing to try.

Yesterday I got nothing done which was frustrating as the weather was cool enough to do things. I'm already struggling with the heat & its not even summer. I'm really struggling with fatigue. I've done a bit better today although I'm slow doing things.

Croix · ‎24-10-2018

Dear Elizabeth~

A day doing nothing is - for you -a victory. Keep it up:)

The Merengue can be danced slowly (walking or shuffling pace) despite some bands trying to speed it up. It is the slowest of the L.A. dances I know of and also has the advantage both partners hold each other in a close supportive manner.

There you go, dancing lessons from a walrus yet!

C

Elizabeth CP · ‎29-10-2018

Thanks Croix, Doing nothing is not a victory. It feels like a failure.

What I really need to learn is what can I do which is relaxing & leaves me feeling refreshed & rejuvenated. Doing nothing allows my mind to work overtime filling it with negative thoughts so not only do I not achieve anything useful I'm left feeling more depressed, anxious & tired. When I was younger I was much better at this interpersing periods of intense study with enjoyable physical activity to give my mind a rest. I struggle to find things that work for me at this time.

I've been down today. I had a busy weekend but was trying to complete a project but something went wrong so I had to start from scratch leaving me with more time pressures & feeling very stressed & frustrated.

This morning my son rang wanting to borrow money. It upsets me that they continue to be so financially irresponsible. I feel mean saying no but I'm concerned that helping them is just enabling them to continue the way they are which is not good. I feel guilty that we don't see them much. They rarely visit & I am uncomfortable around my DIL.