Feeling down due to fatigue & undiagnosed health issues

[Elizabeth CP]

I haven't been using the forums much apart from a couple of responses to others posts. I stopped as I was too busy & trying to keep up with the forums was becoming too stressful. In September My husband went to Europe which was great although tiring due to the pace of the tour we did. Unfortunately a few days before returning home I fell heavily on concrete steps hurting my right side. I continued on relying on icepacks to manage the pain. I couldn't sleep because of the pain when lying down. The last day I came down with a bad cold which developed into a chest infection later on. The pain eased after 6 weeks & I recovered from the chest infection but have ongoing problems with fatigue & abdominal discomfort. My GP arranged pathology tests. The blood tests are normal but urine isn't. Today I was sent for a ultrasound of kidneys & bladder. Next week I have a gastroscopy & colonoscopy. My stress levels seem to be escalating out of proportion each time I see the GP & get sent for more tests. Prior to my accident my mental health issues were settling down but the last week it is much worse. I have lost my temper a few times in the last week without much provocation. This is not normal for me. I have been on a diet for several months but I am now finding it really hard to stick to it I just want to go & eat food I know will make me feel worse. The diet is a healthy one which I normally find easy to stick to because the food is satisfying.

I just want to get back on track & feel in control of my life & not feel so stressed & down. I also feel guilty for feeling this way because There is no confirmation of a serious illness.

[Croix]

Dear Elizabeth

At least you would have had a physical rest, even help the back..

That problem over money has come up before, apart from anything else there does have to be a practical limit as to what one can afford. And as you say if it just gets wasted then you are probably doing them no favors. What does your husband think?

It's up to them to maintain relations wiht you, so if they are not there frequently it is their choice, not something for you to feel guilty about. If you all enjoyed each others company and did not have the specter of fiances hanging over everyone's thread it might well be different.

Having described you DIL in the past I'm not sure anyone would enjoy her company.

I'm sorry your project want awry, however knowing you - you fixed it.

Croix

[Elizabeth CP]

Thanks Croix. I think I need to get back to regular exercise to strengthen my back. I can't afford to let it go. It is fine except for odd twinges reminding me that it is a problem I need to keep on top of!! Sitting down on the phone or computer or just resting is bad for my back causing it to weaken & be susceptible to injury. Unfortunately I've had too much to organise lately & lots of phone calls.

I had hoped as my son improved physically & mentally & started working again they would learn from their mistakes & improve their financial management. I guess I should know better!!!! I think it stands out more because the rest of my kids & spouses are very responsible & easy to get on with.

I need to go I need to get some sleep I have been really overtired for some time.

[Doolhof]

Hi Elizabeth,

It has been a long time since I have popped in here! Just recently I have started doing my stretches again for my back, I have some I can do at home. It has been so long sine I did them regularly, my back has really stiffened up.

Due to my recent ankle injury, I can still not walk very far so am trying to persuade myself to return to the pool for some hydrotherapy.

I have managed to get as far as writing down the phone number for the pool centre! Maybe tomorrow I can add that to my list of things to do, phone the centre and find out what sessions are available for easy aqua.

Hope you can find some solutions!

Cheers from Dools

[Elizabeth CP]

Good to hear from you Dools. I hope your ankle is healing. I remember the frustration when my ankle was broken & didn't heal properly. Good luck with the aqua therapy. I remember after several disastrous attempts to get back to normal activities like walking I set a goal of walking every day but deliberately did very short walks. I made sure I only walked a such a short distance I knew I could manage; Each day I SLOWLY increased the distance. This is the opposite of my normal way of doing things which involves pushing myself as far as I can. My husband did the same. Initially he was olly allowed to walk the length of the decking. This method worked because we never risked overdoing things & further injury. Success boosted my confidence & mental health as well as physical health. Over time I increased the distance until I got back to my normal activities.

Good luck Dools

[Doolhof]

Hi Elizabeth,

Thanks for your comments and suggestions. Walking used to be my way of coping and having a sense of clearing out thoughts and emotions. Even the short walks in the time frame suggested by the physio seem to have aggravated my ankle so I need to cut back a little and maybe walk every second day a shorter distance.

We are going on holidays in a couple of weeks so the lack of ability to walk far is going to be a bit limiting. I will just have to do what I can and use transport where possible. I have bought an ankle brace so hope that helps a little.

I just need to be patient and careful, accepting my limitations especially while on holiday!

Hope you have been able to catch up on your sleep!

Cheers from Dools

[Elizabeth CP]

Hope you enjoy your holiday & are better at being sensible in looking after your ankle than I was in a similar position in the past.

Tiredness continues to plague me combined with feelings of guilt for not doing better.

I saw the psych today He told me repeatedly to get back to walking daily. I need to get into a routine again. I asked for advice re knowing when to push myself & how much & when to rest. I didn't really get a good answer. I need to plan for smaller chunks of time to tackle tasks rather than doing too much but I'm struggling to do much & when I push myself I'm not effective because I'm too tired. Doing nothing isn't helful as it makes me feel down but pushing myself seems to be winding me up so I'm more stressed & anxious & ineffective.

[Croix]

Dear Elizabeth~

You've mentioned walking several times, and the fact it helps your back as well as everything else.

What do you think might be a good strategy to get you walking daily?

Croix

[Elizabeth CP]

I need to prioritise my walk. I need to try to do it early so that means working out an effective routine. I've been trying to get into a better routine doing the things to help my husband but that pushed back the time to walk. The other issue has been this ongoing tiredness caused by doing too much & competing pressures so I've needed to stay in bed later than normal when I get the chance which has messed up routines. I have found the warmer weather harder as I hate walking in the heat & later in the day I've been too tired so I need to schedule walks early in the day.

I don't think it will be too hard to get back to walking as it is important for me. I think my real issue is sorting out the rest of my life so I'm not feeling like I'm under constant pressure & can relax & enjoy myself instead of finding even things which should be fun are too much pressure.

[Croix]

Dear Elizabeth~

OK, what does that mean -a pretty set routine for when you wake up with a walk before breakfast?

I'm not sure that trying to fix all your routines for everything all at once is quite practical, maybe just getting this bit sorted might be a good base -what do you think?

Croix ( who is always perfectly organized 🙂

[Elizabeth CP]

I'm really struggling. the over emphasis on the daily walking has tipped into me feeling pressured & guilty. I'm trying to remind myself that the advice was given with the best intentions & my reaction doesn't change the fact that it is good advice.

I don't cope with feeling pressured at all. Once I reach a tipping point I tend to be irrational going the opposite way to the way I'm feeling pressured & this can be self destructive.

I'm feeling like my life is out of control at the moment. I'm trying to fit everything which comes up into my schedule but then feeling overwhelmed. I need to work out what is the priorities & plan for them so other things fit around them instead of taking over. I am unsure how much my level of fatigue is due to my constant worry & stress & how much is due to lack of sleep. Do I need to push myself so I get more done so I feel more in control & therfre better or will that make me even tireder & less effective. If I stop & rest am I giving myself chance to recover or do I risk feeling worse because I achieve less & have more time to worry so become more depressed & anxious.

My attempt to get advice from my psych failed. I tried to talk to my husband to plan priorities but ended up with lists of things which need doing yesterday!!! This has left me feeling really negative & giving up. I am struggling to motivate myself at all today.