Feeling down due to fatigue & undiagnosed health issues

[Elizabeth CP]

I haven't been using the forums much apart from a couple of responses to others posts. I stopped as I was too busy & trying to keep up with the forums was becoming too stressful. In September My husband went to Europe which was great although tiring due to the pace of the tour we did. Unfortunately a few days before returning home I fell heavily on concrete steps hurting my right side. I continued on relying on icepacks to manage the pain. I couldn't sleep because of the pain when lying down. The last day I came down with a bad cold which developed into a chest infection later on. The pain eased after 6 weeks & I recovered from the chest infection but have ongoing problems with fatigue & abdominal discomfort. My GP arranged pathology tests. The blood tests are normal but urine isn't. Today I was sent for a ultrasound of kidneys & bladder. Next week I have a gastroscopy & colonoscopy. My stress levels seem to be escalating out of proportion each time I see the GP & get sent for more tests. Prior to my accident my mental health issues were settling down but the last week it is much worse. I have lost my temper a few times in the last week without much provocation. This is not normal for me. I have been on a diet for several months but I am now finding it really hard to stick to it I just want to go & eat food I know will make me feel worse. The diet is a healthy one which I normally find easy to stick to because the food is satisfying.

I just want to get back on track & feel in control of my life & not feel so stressed & down. I also feel guilty for feeling this way because There is no confirmation of a serious illness.

[Elizabeth CP]

Thanks Croix & Quirky,

Re my daughters comments I will try to keep perspective by focusing on my other DIL's comment when I admitted to declining to assist my son & DIL cleaning their house. She said Yes we will agree that you needed to be with your husband!!!

I don't feel respite is right at the moment. My issue is more the emotional stress. Facing the unknown & possibility that my husband's condition may be reaching the stage where the things we enjoy may not be possible any more. He might improve enough to keep doing things in which case we need to focus on making the most of what time is left. Having the doctor in the hospital tell me that she wouldn't recommend trying to save my husband if he went into cardiac arrest. This fits with my gut feeling but is still confronting coming from a doctor.

I want to visit a friend who lives near the coast. Having a few days there would give me a break because my husband is friends with her husband & he can take it easy there just as well as at home & being away from home means I don't worry about what needs doing. The biggest benefit would be having a friend to talk to to take my mind off things. We will go but need to wait until my husband can sleep in a normal bed. He currently needs to sleep with the bed tilted so he can breathe. We also need to fit in with the various appointments.

Quirky your situation is different. You have your own challenges so life is not a picnic for you.

[PamelaR]

Dear Elizabeth

Awwww, I can hear your emotional stress and feel sad that you are at that stage of concern about what you and hubby will be able to do in the future. My heart goes out to you Elizabeth. Very hard place to be - lots of emotion there. You have shown such strength throughout your life. Everything you've done, such a powerful woman you are. Seeing your hubby as he is now must truly make your heart ache. I can't find the right words to help you through this difficult time Elizabeth.

I do hope you get to the beach soon with your friends and hubby. It will be so lovely and peaceful for you. Having a friend to talk with is good too.

Kind regards

PamelaR

[Doolhof]

Hi Elizabeth,

I'm stuck to know what to write to try to be of benefit to you right now with all you and your husband are experiencing. I hope you feel supported by all who are sharing thoughts and messages with you right now.

There are times when words just don't seem to be enough.

It seems at the moment you are unable to do so many things you and your husband used to do and the future is uncertain. Change and the unknown can be hard to deal with.

Are there some things you can still enjoy together? Can you try different experiences or is your husband just too unwell at present?

I hope you are able to visit with your friend.

Hugs to you from Dools

[Elizabeth CP]

Thanks Dools & Pam for you concern & kind words.It helps to feel people care & are trying to understand. Today was better. My husband seems to be less tired & is starting to do a little more.

My son who has been in a psych ward recently has been diagnosed with severe sleep apnea. This explains his tiredness & lack of concentration. The doctor thinks many of his MH issues have been exacerbated if not caused by the tiredness due to the sleep apnea. Hopefully once he is treated he will improve.

[Croix]

Dear Elizabeth~

That last couple of posts sounded a little more hopeful, something that might actually help your son is an unexpected blessing. A physical ailment can be so much easier to deal with.

I was going to talk about non resuscitation, it applied to my late wife, but decided I'd leave that for now. Just letting you know you are not alone.

When you are able to go on the visit it will be good, can you speed the process by putting a bed-head on bricks over there?

Croix

[Doolhof]

Hi Elizabeth,

It is wonderful your son's sleep apnoea has been picked up. I hope he is receiving all the help he needs in all areas of his health while he is in care. I am sure we all know how much better we feel when we have a good night's sleep.

It is also heartening to know your husband is feeling a little bit better. I am sure you are both making the most of each day the best way you can. I don't know that you can do anything other than that.

Speaking of sleep, while staying with family, my sister and I slept in their shed out on their bush block. There happened to be a thunder and lightening storm that seemed to perch right above the tin shed for a while. The thunder shook the whole shed and the lightning flashes were incredible.

Then the wind came up and I thought the shed was about to be blown away. The bed I was in had an old heavy frame, so I was considering sleeping under it instead of on top of it! Didn't get a great deal of sleep that night! The storm went on all night and disappeared in the morning.

My sister decided we would return to their home for the second night so we could both get some sleep! At their home they had possums come to visit, so the dog was out barking at them during the night!

Home to the peace and quiet of trucks rumbling through the town all night long on the highway! Bliss. Ha. Ha.

Hope you have an okay kind of day Elizabeth.

Cheers all from Dools

[Elizabeth CP]

Sorry I haven't answered earlier. Things were busy but looking up but just crashed tonight. I feel almost numb with disbelief.

Anzac day was hectic. I had the extended family over for a delayed party for my husbands birthday. Previous date was postponed as he only just out of hospital. He doesn't see his siblings much so it was important. By the end of the day I was too exhausted to sleep. My husband was feeling much better.

"6th he saw the GP who confirmed he was on the mend & could slowly get back to normal activities so came home rang my friend & then drove there to stay for several days. Today was nice. Went for a nice walk all together in the sun. A couple of days would have been good for me to slowly unwind.

Tonight we decided to go out for dinner. Finally my husband is well enough to attempt this. On the way out he tripped over something. An hour later the pain was getting worse so we headed back & by that stage it was clear we needed to get him to emergency. There were no hospitals nearby so I packed everything up & we headed home stopping at the hospital near us. He has cracked a rib & because of his history they admitted him to get his pain under control & reduce the risk of another bout of aspiration pneumonia.

I have returned home unpacked & need to sleep but my mind is struggling to come to terms with this latest disaster. I need a break to be able to cope with him when e comes home.

[Croix]

Dear Elizabeth~

What a shock, it is so hard when one disaster piles on top of another. I'm glad you were able to get your husband diagnosed and admitted. You mentioned a friend and also visitors, is there anyone about now to give you a hand or have all departed?

If it was me (yes I know you will feel duty and concern pressing) I'd try to stay home at least for a few hours or longer before going back to the hospital. Not to do jobs or make preparations, but just to try to recuperate. Things will make their demands soon enough.

I'm glad you had that brief time and the walk.

Croix

[Elizabeth CP]

Thanks Croix.

I returned home from my friends last night to take him to the hospital. They live 2 hours away. I can't get through to my son who lives fairly close. The rest of the family live further away so can't do much. I just spoke to my daughter who lives over an hour away but she is unwell so can't help at all.

I ended up taking something to help me sleep as I couldn't sleep otherwise.Mind going crazy!!! I was woken by my friend ringing to check on my husband. Now need to visit the hospital Hopefully get some idea of time frames so I can work out what to do. My mood seems to be fluctuating from really flat to really upset constantly. Can't face contacting the extended family at the moment.

[Croix]

Dear Elizabeth~

I'm not surprised about the mood changes, you are being dealt hammer blows despite your best efforts, it's going to affect anyone. Plus if I remember you don't sleep that well at the best of times.

I no doubt sound like a broken record (so I guess you can skip bits:) however going flat out is not always good. Can you ring the hospital to find out the facts and maybe visit sometime later - say shortly before visiting times are over?

While it might be your husband (and even the hospital) is keen for a discharge your recharge and taking stock needs to be accomplished too.

Croix