Feeling down due to fatigue & undiagnosed health issues
I haven't been using the forums much apart from a couple of responses to others posts. I stopped as I was too busy & trying to keep up with the forums was becoming too stressful. In September My husband went to Europe which was great although tiring due to the pace of the tour we did. Unfortunately a few days before returning home I fell heavily on concrete steps hurting my right side. I continued on relying on icepacks to manage the pain. I couldn't sleep because of the pain when lying down. The last day I came down with a bad cold which developed into a chest infection later on. The pain eased after 6 weeks & I recovered from the chest infection but have ongoing problems with fatigue & abdominal discomfort. My GP arranged pathology tests. The blood tests are normal but urine isn't. Today I was sent for a ultrasound of kidneys & bladder. Next week I have a gastroscopy & colonoscopy. My stress levels seem to be escalating out of proportion each time I see the GP & get sent for more tests. Prior to my accident my mental health issues were settling down but the last week it is much worse. I have lost my temper a few times in the last week without much provocation. This is not normal for me. I have been on a diet for several months but I am now finding it really hard to stick to it I just want to go & eat food I know will make me feel worse. The diet is a healthy one which I normally find easy to stick to because the food is satisfying.
I just want to get back on track & feel in control of my life & not feel so stressed & down. I also feel guilty for feeling this way because There is no confirmation of a serious illness.
Company is more than showing photos and chatting. Being with your son and his family when oyu live so far away is special, irrespective of the circumstances. you know this, I'm just reminding you while those meds kick in. You are a caring person and sometimes that can lead down the path of self-blame when things don't go to plan.
Your husband has had some time in the driving holiday, and I'm sure would have enjoyed that. Just being in another country makes a real difference.
Let others be there for you when in need- it's not all your responsibility (yes I know your feelings will probably disagree)
I hope you regain your mobility quickly
Thanks Croix & Shell & anyone else listening. The doctor is hoping it is just the muscles which are strained & with the meds rest & gentle exercise it will improve soon. My daughter who checked me on the way to the airport thought it looked like a problem with one of the discs so I'm not sure how long it will take to recover.
When I'm doing things like walking & exploring it takes my mind off things. Also I have difficulty believing I have any value if I'm not doing something useful or helping others so feeling so useless & dependent on others really affects my mental state. feelings of embarrassment, uselessness, being stupid clumsy I'll never be able to plan anything again without the risk of messing it up etc all these thoughts & feelings run through my head.
At the moment I'm home alone as my son had to go out & took his kids & my husband with him. My daughter is supposed to be visiting but hasn't arrived. I become too dopey on the meds to do anything but without them I'm in too much pain. I've just taken some so I've only got a short period before I will become really dopey again.
Sorry I'm grumbling. I feel like I have wasted my time & money coming here under these circumstanses.
Grumble away, it might help, can't hurt. I'm glad your family is able to get out and do things and hope it's not too long before you can join them.
I'm quite familiar with the effect of some pain meds (I may have mentioned I've spinal problems too). That dopey-ness has an up-side. As well as relaxing your mind it is relaxing your muscles, and thus making improvement that much quicker.
It also put you on exactly the right mental level to view UK TV 🙂
I am not quite sure what to say, but I am hearing you. And I am so sorry that things have not worked out the way that you planned or hoped for. Maybe have a good cry, perhaps it will help. Is there anyone else that could be a driver for you at all? Poor darling...
Long to help you somehow Elizabeth.
There are times when I just have to take my pain meds and do virtually nothing, and it sounds as if you have hit a similar patch. It is so frustrating, the mind wants to go and the body just says an unreasoning "Nup" - and that's it.
I hope this state passes to something more manageable soon. As for driving round Iceland, I'd think twice even when good, I guess you are braver than me even to book it in the first place.