Feeling down due to fatigue & undiagnosed health issues

[Elizabeth CP]

I haven't been using the forums much apart from a couple of responses to others posts. I stopped as I was too busy & trying to keep up with the forums was becoming too stressful. In September My husband went to Europe which was great although tiring due to the pace of the tour we did. Unfortunately a few days before returning home I fell heavily on concrete steps hurting my right side. I continued on relying on icepacks to manage the pain. I couldn't sleep because of the pain when lying down. The last day I came down with a bad cold which developed into a chest infection later on. The pain eased after 6 weeks & I recovered from the chest infection but have ongoing problems with fatigue & abdominal discomfort. My GP arranged pathology tests. The blood tests are normal but urine isn't. Today I was sent for a ultrasound of kidneys & bladder. Next week I have a gastroscopy & colonoscopy. My stress levels seem to be escalating out of proportion each time I see the GP & get sent for more tests. Prior to my accident my mental health issues were settling down but the last week it is much worse. I have lost my temper a few times in the last week without much provocation. This is not normal for me. I have been on a diet for several months but I am now finding it really hard to stick to it I just want to go & eat food I know will make me feel worse. The diet is a healthy one which I normally find easy to stick to because the food is satisfying.

I just want to get back on track & feel in control of my life & not feel so stressed & down. I also feel guilty for feeling this way because There is no confirmation of a serious illness.

[Elizabeth CP]

I'm feeling a bit better & trying to reduce the meds so I am human but still very limited in what I can do. I'm unsure how far to push myself. If I do nothing I'll remain really weak & be unable to do anything. If i do too much I'll undo the recovery I've acheived. I need to make a decision soon as to whethere to cancel Iceland but will need a doctor to write a letter to claim on insurance. I was improving a week ago before getting much worse so I don't know how ''''i'll go with the long drives. A few days aere verey long as there is little accomodation available is certain areas. I Have always pushed myself when travelling sometimes that works but sometimes it leads to a disaster. If my husband was able to drive it would be fine but he can't so everything is left to me. If I give up I'll regret it. as I'll be too scared to try anything again. If I go & it is bad I;ll end up feeling worse. I don't know what to do.

[Croix]

Dear Elizabeth~

I'm glad you are a little better even if it does place you in a quandary.

I guess one has to be flexible, I'd not be sure of the value of bulling though if the stakes are so high and there is a good chance of being stranded and incapacitated - even if English is reasonably well understood there.

While I can understand disappointment and even feeling you are letting others and yourself down if you did not go is it actually an all-or-nothing situation, are there less taxing alternatives?

Croix

[Elizabeth CP]

Thanks for the kind thoughts croix,& shell. I'm currently on the bed feeling really down

Saw a GP yesterday after attempting to walk into town. Needed too many stops & felt exhausted. Walking is my normal outlet when I need to escape or have break or feel better

The GP thought driving around Iceland is likely to be too much. I can takeeds at night for the pain but not during the day particularly when driving

I feel like I've wastef all our money coming here for nothing. I can't I even enjoyy grandkids do I give in and try to claim on travel insurance but that only pays good what I haven't used or do ii push through. And. Hope ii can cope either way I'll be left regretting for. The rest of my life

[Guest_1055]

Ah Elizabeth you do sound really down, your emotions are jumping of the screen. Poor thing..... I wish I could advise you on what you should do . But the only thing coming to my mind is "what does your hubby think about all of this? " And your son? After all it is your hubby's holiday as well. Sometimes we are just unable to work things out ourselves and need to let go. I mean no offence, truly I care about you Elizabeth. It's sounds like you are carrying all this burden on our own. What does your hubby think?

Wish I could give you a gentle hug or something.

Shell xx

[Croix]

Dear Elizabeth~

Yes, it's not an enviable position, though your doc sounds sensible about meds and driving.

I think Shell asked a good question - what does your partner and son say about things, what you should do? As for it being a waste, you are over there and seeing your son and family, even if not ideal it is a pretty big thing. Your husband is being taken around too.

I hope you can take things in stages, it sounds as if oyu tried to much too soon attempting that walk into town. Do you use a stick? I find one essential.

I hope you can have a rest

Croix

[Elizabeth CP]

Thanks Croix & shell I relly appreciate your encouragement. I feel a bit guilty because I aren't really doing much to help others on the forums Being over here I have limited time & emotional energy. I don't use a stick. I used to walk up to 30km in a day in the past. After some injuries I worked hard to build myself up so I could walk up & down most hills for hours. I'm limited by what my husband can do as he relies on a blind cane so on very uneven ground it can be very tiring as I need to watch out for him. I normally carry most of the load & do most things so he doesn't get overtired. Fatigue can lead to serious problems for him. so I hate having to rely on him as I can't carry any weight without my back hurting.

It is improving & I bought extra OTC painkillers to use during the day so I can stick to the strong ones at night. We are going to attempt Iceland I will cut out a couple of things to shorten the drive but there will be some long days. If I don't go I think I'll just be too depressed & regret it for ever. I still regret missing a section of a trek in the Himilayas I did in the 70's. I tried to pretend to be OK but then got to a point were I couldn't breath so it was impossible to keep going. I still feel bad about missing that section of the trip. My husband is leaving the decision to me.

[Croix]

Dear Elizabeth~

Doing the trip but cutting some parts out sounds a sensible compromise. Do you think you will suffer any adverse effects to your digestive system with the extra pain-killers? I tend to find that.

I can see how looking after your husband to that extent is so taxing, one hears of all sorts of gee-wiz gadgets to assist with sight but I suspect they are only any good for controlled conditions. Does your husband's condition mean he cannot appreciate visual records of your journeys?

I've always thought you a determined person and your recounting how you recovered in the past is quite impressive (I'm a little envious really:)

I would not give your level of contributions here another thought. I'm sure you will return in full force.

Croix

[Elizabeth CP]

Thanks croix my husband's condition is very rare. Don't know if anyone in Aus has it. He uses a white came for guidance including a special one for bushwalking. At home I try to have everything where he expects them . Unfortunately his other muscles are affected particularly the digestive system but hands and legs are also affected hence he wants to travel before it is too late. It is a balancing act of doing enough to maintain strength without overdoing it

I am learning how much painkillers I need to cope without really bad side effects.

[Guest_1055]

Hi Elizabeth , I am not sure if you have left for Iceland or not? But wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you and if you are there that you are enjoying it the best that you are able to. You and your hubby together.

Shell xx

[Elizabeth CP]

Thanks. This is a brief reply. I'm in Iceland so little time for the internet & often unreliable. Today was good weather & lots of interesting places. I've devices some strange exercises which look stupid but seem to help my back. Problem is I need a pole or fence or something the right height & solid so have to wait till I find something suitable usually in public view. At least the people won't see me again. will probably wonder about that strange person leaning on poles in funny positions. Still struggling with the meds. Can't take more due to needing to drive but still waking in pain. Also now have stomache ache from them. Tomorrow is back to rain but a relatively short drive so I'll try to take it easy. I get very frustrated & stressed with the pain & simple things like tying up boots are impossible. If I drop anything I have to stand on it to stop it blowing away till my husband can get it for me. I'm trying to focus on the good. I would have regretted not coming.Hope you are well