Anyone had to spend days alone without anyone to talk to?

[Hanna3]

Hi all, apart from here and a brief visit to church last night (to make it feel Christmassy and to just be with people) I've had day after day for weeks now with nobody at all to talk to. This time of year especially it's really depressing. Old friends that live far away are gradually losing contact with me - I ring them but they don't ring me. I understand they're busy with their live elsewhere but still it's hard when you're lonely. I'm going to a Christmas Eve service at the local church tomorrow night to at least be with people for a little while... but otherwise all day I'm alone, just me and the dog. Sometimes I strike up a conversation on BB but then the other person disappears and that's the end of that...

How are people meant to cope with prolonged periods of social isolation? I read, I watch DVDs, normally I'd go for long walks with the dog but thick smoke from bushfires and intense hot weather have stopped that. I go to a café alone sometimes. Any ideas/help?

[Hanna3]

Anyway, sorry I had to break this up as the print went Wierd...

Yes, so sorry mmMekitty, it's easy to misread posts in just typeface... I'd had a few things go wrong that day too..

People in this town have been very conservative - my music teacher friend is unusual and we are great mates, I'd say he is high functioning aspergers - but two of my friends here now won't speak to me because I'm friends with him. Go figure.

So I'm hunting out different people... The library people are great, the bridge club people surprisingly are lovely but I'm rubbish at Bridge so far.

So anyway I'm sorry I shouldn't have got cranky, I guess you inadvertently stepped on a trigger.

Thanks mmMekitty 💞💐🐕

[ecomama]

Dear Hanna, hugs! Waves to Kitty (and hugs) and to all the other lovelies reading along. 

Yes THANK YOU Hanna for validating my feelings about NOT ditching my friends to get new ones. 
I thought that was horrid and told my Counsellor so through tears, next session. 

Thank you also for giving me a "Permission Slip" to take a step back from toxic conversations. 
"Familiarity breeds contempt" at times! 
I know she's ill but now I also know why she has toxic relationships with her closest people too. 

Though I cannot throw a 40+ or 50+ duration friendship in the bin because they're ill. 
So many people run the other way... I can't abandon them in this, most loneliest time of life. 

I can't bring it up with her. 

I'm SO HAPPY to hear that you've persisted with the BRIDGE CLUB Hanna! 
GO YOU GIRLFRIEND! hahaha. 

And why not? 
Let's BE BRAVE with our lives and make this day count for us. 

I'm sorry to hear your family were so critical towards you. 
You're in fine company on the forums. I can see that most people here have FOO issues they're dealing with well into adulthood. 
Just another "Club" we're a part of! 
But aren't we freaking fantastic people too? lol. 
BIG HUGS. 

Thankyou Hanna, you helped me a lot. 
Love EMxxxx

[Hanna3]

Hi EM and everyone

It's too hard to make new friends EM! Plus too many people don't value long term friendships enough. There are a few people I've known for decades and you can't replace that shared experience.

In my opinion people often don't value friendships enough! Everyone wants to focus on a romantic relationship, I get that - but so often it's friends that remain and nourish and support us when the romantic relationship ends, or we get sick or old.

My elderly argumentative friend is very lonely as at 95 she's outlived her friends. That is tough and at her age she can't get out and about to make new ones.

Just changing topic for a minute but is it just me, everywhere I go I seem to see young women who are incredibly beautiful. How is it young women today are so attractive, or is it because I'm getting older? The young men are good looking too, but the girls have glowing skin and great figures and do their make-up so well! I think I'm glad I'm not having to compete with them. Maybe it's just that as I get older I appreciate youth and beauty more!!! I try not to look in mirrors much these days! 😂

[ecomama]

Hahahaha! Yes indeed the youth of today have YOUTUBE! hahaha. 

I've noticed so many being able to apply make up like professionals and they're not make up artists lol. 

Indeed I can see how MUCH they know about all sorts and it's extremely refreshing to me. 
The young girls know about RED FLAGS hahaha... I only learnt of the term about 8y ago and that was with me burning the candles at all ends studying all this bs online. 
Wow did I have a LOT of catching up to do. 

But on the sad side, I know that many young people are struggling with their "image" and looks. 
So much so that even teenagers say they "need" plastic surgery OMG. But thinking back, I knew a girl over 40y ago that had plastic surgery for simply a looks thing at 16!!
I was horrified her parents allowed it and paid for it ugh... she regretted it later, it totally mucked up all sorts for her. 

And like one tooth out of line and they "need" Orthodontics, pffft. 

I hope it's GOOD for them to do all the stuff they're doing. 

There's a lot to be said about ageing gracefully. 

Yeah my Nana was almost 100yo when she passed and spoke to me about the loss of all of her friends by 70yo. So she made new friends no older than 55yo (when she was in her 80s), then she lost of all them too.

I seldom look in mirrors either Hanna hahaha... it's ALL good my friend! 

Love EMxxxx

[mmMekitty]

Yeah, Hanna, confusion is so easy here, on BB. I know for myself, I have misread things, hadn't made my own words as clear as I'd like either. & then, with my memory & even confusing who said what & where, it's getting more difficult. I'm expecting to apologise more often, & problably in the wrong Discussion, or forget for a bit, then remember that I had wanted to apologise & then not be sure where or exactly why... I feel I'm not keeping up.

I'm sorry I tripped up on your trigger - very like one of my own. I don't ever want to upset you or anyone here.

I reread some posts & I remember, I was thinking not to criticise, nor to imply you were complaining about being busy. I think it's great, being busy, going out, making the friends you have made.

Of-course, you are allowed, as much as anyone else, to get cranky sometimes.

*

I want to be a bit cheeky about all the beautiful younger people you have noticed & say, "Can't say that I've noticed that, Hanna!" & giggle. Really, though, I wouldn't take so much notice if I could see clearly enough. I guess part is because I never thought I could compete, if I had wanted to, anyway. Even if I thought I could, I doubt I would have felt the need, not the make-up, hair, fashionable clothes, high heels none of that. That's just not me.

Hugzies, always,

mmMekitty

[Paw Prints]

Hello Hannah

Just popping in to check how you are going with the gastro... I hope it is easing off for you... 

No pressure for you to reply... 

Hugs

Paws

[Hanna3]

Hi Paws & everyone else

I am just getting about a bit now after about three days or more of being very sick indeed!  Thank you for enquiring.  I sure hope I don't catch this gastro bug ever again, it's a doozy!  Managed to get to the shop for some grocery supplies finally today - friends had offered to help, but I was too sick to do anything but rehydrate and sleep.

How are you and Woofa keeping?  Our river here had a huge flood yesterday but all is back to normal today, it apparently subsided very fast.  I missed most of the fun and excitement unfortunately.  I hope things are OK with you there - I think we are in for more days of rain ahead soon.

I did work out what makes young people here so attractive, it's the cold overcast climate - we only have a short but hot summer, the rest of the year is chilly to very cold - they don't go and sunbake on the beach as there isn't one, they go to indoor gyms and indoor swimming pools - so their complexions are perfect.  No sun damage.  I remember I was quite close to the Queen during the opera house opening, and what struck me was how lovely her complexion was - no sun damage of course.

I have been chatting to someone online I have "known" through a real life friend for ages, she is in the city near you, she has several opera videos I would die for and she has said she will post them to me as she no longer watches them.  I could only find one still available and it was very expensive, so hooray, I have a summer of great ballet and opera ahead!

Daylight saving throws me out and Sam - the evenings stay light too long - we haven't got into a routine yet, and being sick hasn't helped.  Hopefully we'll settle down soon, but the cold rainy weather hasn't helped either.

I'm not coming onto BB too much at all, but I will check by here and see how you and others are going.  I just find people's problems can be a bit too much and can drag me down.

I hope you don't have muddy feet and paws where you are!  Hugs from us here oxoxoxox

[mmMekitty]

How are you, Hanna? I'm thinking of you, wishing you well, & not in danger from the flooding.

Hugzies, always for you.

mmMekitty

[mmMekitty]

Hi Hanna.

Hope the weather has been better where you are, & that you are all done with that gastro, & Sam & you are enjoying walks & the park,

I'm not on BB nearly so much lately. Doing research, into various things, taking more time out for doing exercises, & making salads for lunch & maybe even dinner, if I make too much.

I'm also realising how difficult it is for me to keep up with everyone I've been in conversation, losing track is so easy. I don't remember from one post to the next waht was said, & often, by whom. I't's making this space very difficult to use.

My best wishes to you, always, even though you are not seeing me around so much.

Hugzies, & some nose bops like Woofa gives, for Sam. Wouldn't be fun if we could get all the pets together for a fun day in the park?

mmMekitty

[Paw Prints]

Hello Hanna,

It is bittersweet getting their ashes back, we have them home & yet we don't. Take your time lass deciding what to do with them, you will think of something that suits you & Sam.

It can't be nice being back in a smoky place, especially after how bad is was when you were in the hills. Do be careful going out for walks as even light smoke is not good for you. I'm sure you know this I'm just being a mother hen. I hope your coastal town isn't in a fire prone area & you stay safe.

Hugs

Paws