Anxiety issue

[BballJ]

Hi all,

I took abit of convincing myself to join the forums and write in here but just wanted some advice.

in the past two weeks, I have had anxiety spiralling out of control, I am unable to concentrate at work or at home, I continually think of the worst case scenario in anything, I wake up in the middle of the night having panic attacks (heart racing, in shaking, heavy breathing) I haven't slept more than 4 hours each night and during the day I am in a constant stressed state that by 2 pm I am tired as can be, I hate being alone, if I'm driving I feel the need to call someone just so I can get my mind off my anxiety and contanst worry feelings. I have lost my appetite, eating maybe one meal a day simply because I cannot eat. I have tried natural over the counter medicine to try and alleviate the anxiety and calm me down but they don't work.... Does this sound like GAD and should I see a doctor about medication?

thank you in advance for your replies.

Jay

[Wednesday]

Hi Jay,

That is wonderful news about a break through and your psych’s comment about progress and her new level of understanding.

It does take a while to understand the full picture good on you for hanging in there and giving her more information. I dare say that wasn’t all that easy for you, giant stride! Don’t doubt yourself you have every reason to be angry with your mum. You just need to look after yourself, what ever that takes. Just watch those BT's don't help build the super GAD highway of neural pathways.

Thank you for the feedback but you listen to me too. As I’ve said you are an amazing man with more insight than many I feel quite proud of you and the progress you’re making and we haven’t even met, (grin)! It is a process but you are getting there. It doesn’t matter the size of the step just that you are making a step.

Thanks for your comments about P’s family. You’re right I do take on board their negativity and wear it. I’ll have to think that one through a bit more. I think I am just over it/them I haven’t the energy to do anything about it/them anyway. In lots of ways I am resilient, (with the AD’s) in others not so, it’s been a messy life.

I love my offspring to bits. My grandson makes me smile a lot and has me firmly wrapped around all of his fingers. Pity he’s not a bit closer though.

Hugs, x

[BballJ]

Hi Ava,

Hope you're having a good day 🙂

I have been feeling quite good since my Wednesday session, felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders, I think along with talking to you has helped a lot. There is still a lot of work to do and I understand that and respect that part of my journey, but for the first time it feels like I have a clear head going in. My psych put it to me this way... she said when you see your mum now, you get angry and shut yourself down, because you still want this person to be your mum, the one you know but unfortunately, she isn't, she is a different person, and when you can start to see her as that and not the mum you remember, it will be easy to talk to her. Which made a lot of sense I guess because like I've said I just never ever understood why she did what she did. However, what she said resonated with me and for some reason I feel the clearer on how to approach it.

I thank you so much for your kind words as well, it means so much to me 🙂 I owe a lot to you Ava and others on this forums who have just helped to hear and understanding my story. I tell myself everyday baby steps.. I have started helping a friend of mine out who is battling severe depression and using a lot of advice you have given me to help them out as well.

No life is perfect that is what I always tell myself... it easy to see the positive without looking at the negatives you had to develop from. I strongly believe we are only as strong as the foundation we build ourselves on and we all need to strengthen our foundation everyday, in one way or another. I don't know if I have ever asked... what hobbies do you enjoy? anything in particular?

Hugs, Jay

[Wednesday]

Hi Jay,

I cheered loudly when I just read your post, oops. Some clarity must be a fabulous gift to you. My dog was a little puzzled but jumped around happily for you too! Your psych sounds very good. I love the way she explained to you your reaction to your mum.

I don't think it is so unusual to have a view of your parents that isn't quite the same as their's or even anyone else's. I've noticed before how some of my friends and at times my children revert to a younger age. One very mature, professional man I know and think is fabulous, becomes a 10 year old boy around his mum. We all have our own journeys and areas heavily influenced by what happened when we were young. Today's thinking is that it is the first two years of life that are crucial in making us the person we become, of course that is overly simple. Your comment:

...I strongly believe we are only as strong as the foundation we build ourselves on and we all need to strengthen our foundation everyday, in one way or another...

rings true to me, as adults we are responsible for our own lives and we can make a difference to a degree and as we know every bit helps, baby steps.

Yes you're right no ones life's perfect, scratch the surface and there is always a story. Some stories are worse than others, but all count as something to the person telling it.

As I've said it's lovely to hear your kind words, but you owe me nothing. I enjoy our chats and you re always very kind to me, it works both ways.

As for hobbies. The last 18mths has seen most things be compromised. I have a chronic illness that was non-responsive to treatment, fingers crossed the latest is working. I also lost my job because apparently people wondering around on morphine and steroids don't make good employees, go figure!! The constant meds I take give me a cotton wool brain at times and I'm often very tired. So hobbies at the moment seem to be the BB forum, to keep me sane and know that there are others out there. A bit of what ever I can do around the house, reading and good old Netflix.

No need to feel sorry for me I've had an interesting life, met lots of amazing people, lived in different places and I am still here!

You are going to be a great supporter for your friend, introduce them to BB maybe? Severe depression is heavy. Do be careful hat you don't take on to much. You still have your own battle to win and need your energy. I hope you have suggested a doctors visit for your friend or that they are on meds?

Hugs, x

[Wednesday]

PS. P is being very GAD. I can't help him, everything I do is wrong. Leaving him alone.

xx

[BballJ]

Hi Ava,

Haha, poor dog got a fright but i appreciate the cheers.

I agree with your comment about how we view and act around our parents, it is interesting. I'm glad my comment about our foundation resonates with you, i say it alot to people and use I guess as a personal motto for growth in myself.

I obviously don't know the full story behind your chronic illness, but it doesn't sound good and not fun that you can't work... it was probably better for you, even though it may have a been a distraction from your BT's when you were at work... but i guess you need to focus all your energy on recovering as best as you can. I sincerely do hope the new treatment is working for you, it is so difficult and a situation I hope you come out of soon. It's funny because through these forums, you wouldn't guess you were having as you put it "Cotton wool brain", certainly doesn't seem like it from my end anyway. The BB forum has become a staple of my day to day life to be honest, i enjoy logging on and talking to yourself and others on here and just helping where I can. Netflix is always good but haha... watched any good movies lately? If i could recommend one it would be The Intern (Robert De Nero & Anne Hathaway) just a feel good movie. I like them.

Sorry to hear about P as well, my GAD flared up a little tonight because i bought my wife a present as she finished her exams and won the best and fairest award at her soccer club but I stuffed up and got the same thing I got her for her birthday (Not sure how i did that) but got me annoyed at myself. Best to let P be as you are doing. If he is anything like me with his GAD, he will come out of it, although it sounds his, is a little more pressing than mine.

Regarding my friend, I am trying to help as much as I can, i offered to go doctors with them for support, they doesn't like taking medication a bit like me i guess, but I'm just trying to be a friend and help, i even said they can use my psych, but you need to doctors referral otherwise it is very expensive... I have bought up the forums but when I am with them next, I might show them how it works and the many great people on here to get advice from like yourself.

Hope you have a good weekend.

Hugs, Jay

[Wednesday]

Hi Jay,

P is away for the weekend so I get a break. I think I'll take a new approach with his GAD. I sometimes I feel guilty and that I should be doing more and I think that has become a bad habit for us both. I am going to try to walk away and leave him alone, rather than him getting grumpy with me and me thinking Ive done something wrong.

Oh dear, you poor thing, you obviously thought your wife would like the present, mistakes happen. Don't be cross with yourself you did a good thing. It was a lovely thought though to recognise her impressive achievements. I'm sure she recognised the gesture as genuine and one from the heart.

My current Netflix binge is The Good Wife series, I've got lots of seasons to get through. I'll look into the Intern thanks.

It is so wonderful that you are supporting your friend. If your friend has a diagnosis of severe depression, I assume they have had some advice. I know you are anti meds but to be blunt severe depression can kill you.

One way of looking at taking medication is... if you fell over and badly sprained or even broke your ankle you would see a GP, you would probably see a physio for therapy and you may take pain killers and anti-inflammatory meds for a while and also take some time at to rest up. It's just the way you think about it.. take medical advice, have some therapy and medication.

The AD's don't necessarily solve our problems but what they do is soothe a poor frazzle brain (put those BT's back in there place) and help you think more easily. This helps us to make better decisions and use of counsellor visits and recover. It may be that the meds are only a short term thing to get over a hurdle. It's a bit like putting a plaster cast on a broken limb.

Have a fabulous weekend, hugs, x

[BballJ]

Hi Ava,

Well, P being away does seem to give you a break and maybe your new approach to his GAD may help you both... I have gotten so well at hiding when my GAD flares up from my wife or anyone that it's almost second nature now - that smile i manage to put on is an amazing thing 🙂 I know she appreciated the effort of the gift as well, I just haven't done well with gift giving this year for some reason when i used to be good at suprising her with gifts, guess that's part of being with someone for 5 years, you buy them quite a bit.

Regarding my friend, she isn't diagnosed with severe depression and there are no signs of self harm or anything, which i am looking out for however the mental state they are in, is concerning and I just pointed out they seem to have depression symptoms to which they agreed they probably do. Next step is getting them to the docs for a referral. I am trying my best to support as much as I can. Next time i speak I will read out your paragraph on the AD's and maybe that will shed some light for them, and i understand what you are saying as well. I just felt i was ok to not go on my anxiety medication, well come off it i should say. I really wanted to see if my psych sessions help without the meds, that way i know it the psych who is changing stuff. I see however they have helped you fight the BT's away which I can only see as a positive.

How's the weekend been? Hayfever has been running wild for me hehe

My best, Jay

[Wednesday]

Hi Jay,

P doesn't hide his GAD, I rally don't know if that is a good or bad thing. My new strategy isn't working it just makes things worse. Oh well. I don't know how you manage to smile through your head exploding in a million different directions, it must be hard.

It is of course an individual decision to take medications. There is still significant stigma about mental health. At times I think people see AD's or whatever as an acceptance that they have a problem. Hence my little broken bone story.

I hope your friend is doing better, even a little, baby steps.

I'm thinking of writing to a politician to tell them to clean up the air! Down with pollen!

Hugs, x

[BballJ]

Hi Ava,

It's such a struggle the constant battle of having GAD and living with someone who has GAD.. my word, i think you and my wife would have lots to talk about hehe. I smile because i've had many years experiance of smiling to hide my emotions, that's all. Is P back from his weekend getaway? Hopefully he is giving you some time to relax and recover.

Let me know how that writing to the politician goes... they need to do something about the air hehe.... not to mention the mosquitoes that are everywhere at the moment.

How was your weekend anyway, did you get up to much?

My best, Jay

[Wednesday]

Hi Jay,

Grrr, doctors, mozzies, pollen and the bees that took up residence in the wall of my house.

Can't be bothered writing to the pollies after all, bah humbug.

I'm sure your wife and I would have a great chat and of course I would have to give her a hug.

P's back but it is always hard before he goes to and when he comes back from family stuff. I try and he tries but it's tricky. I wish he wouldn't push me away with unnecessary jibes and that he had been able to try to address his GAD at a younger age. Keep up the good work, you really don't want to be an older man whose GAD has intensified over time. Every baby step counts.

Hugs, x