Anxiety issue

[BballJ]

Hi all,

I took abit of convincing myself to join the forums and write in here but just wanted some advice.

in the past two weeks, I have had anxiety spiralling out of control, I am unable to concentrate at work or at home, I continually think of the worst case scenario in anything, I wake up in the middle of the night having panic attacks (heart racing, in shaking, heavy breathing) I haven't slept more than 4 hours each night and during the day I am in a constant stressed state that by 2 pm I am tired as can be, I hate being alone, if I'm driving I feel the need to call someone just so I can get my mind off my anxiety and contanst worry feelings. I have lost my appetite, eating maybe one meal a day simply because I cannot eat. I have tried natural over the counter medicine to try and alleviate the anxiety and calm me down but they don't work.... Does this sound like GAD and should I see a doctor about medication?

thank you in advance for your replies.

Jay

[Wednesday]

Hi Jay,

I have to say I'm a bit worried about you. You haven't mentioned depression before is this new to you? Please don't give yourself a hard time for not picking up on the CBT, counselling is hard. It looks simple on the outside but can have that wet fish in the face effect and throw you of guard.

You said that you were addressing some stuff from earlier days in your sessions, could this be what is causing the head spin and depression?

I so hope you have gone to see your doctor and discussed how you are feeling.

Sunday today, I hope you're distraction plan involves some exercise to get some of those good brain chemicals released, a little walk maybe or at least some chocolate?

Don't let the brain terrorists win, you're to valuable.

Hugs.

[BballJ]

Hi Ava,

Depression isn't new, i am not diagnosed with depression, but the more the anxiety builds up, the more it is slowly turning into depression, my mind is just in a constant over thinking state at the moment and literally breaking me down... i am unsure where to turn, my counsellor has told me there is so much to get through and work on that it won't be a quick fix. I went out to breakfast with a good friend and talked some stuff through which was great and played basketball but unfortunately i am having a few issues in my relationship so it all is adding on. Just want to feel happy again. these damn brain terrorists as you call them need to leave us all alone.

I'll post a reply on your thread also 🙂

My best, Jay

[blondguy]

Hi Jay

you have been helping a heap of people here and good on you too

When I was 25 my female GP firmly told me that "I will have my anxiety for the rest of my life" That really upset me...but she was smart as she was only taking the 'fear' out of my anxiety....because I had to resign myself to having it lifelong the anxiety actually reduced big time as I then knew there wasnt the quick fix I was expecting which was only re-booting the anxiety over and over again

I was a jerk and thought all the 'natural' remedies would work.....for me they did nothing.....I was and am still physically fit, so all the exercise was pointless (as a semi cure) The endorphin release helped a little but the anxiety kept going...

I read what you said above about anxiety turning into depression. I think that we become so mentally 'tired' of anxiety the depression kicks in....I understand what you just wrote Jay...It reminded me of what I went through..

Once I started getting weekly counseling from a community mental health worker (it was free) I was bawling my eyes out (venting) for about 3 visits....and he insisted that I still see him for another 5 months...every week...ugh!

It was a pain but he really gave me my life back.

I hope there is something here that has helped....even a little...

Great input on the forums too Jay 🙂

My kind thoughts for you

Paul

[Wednesday]

Hi Jay,

You are switched on, just counselling is hard work, it looks simple from the outside but it's far from it. Be kind to yourself and let the sessions process, internally, give them the time they need. You don't have to fix all your problems in one hit. It could be that your counsellor is pushing you harder than you and maybe even she realises, so make sure you mention the impact and how overwhelming this has been for you.

It's great that you are keeping in touch with your friends and being real with them, good work!

Anxiety and depression have a habit of interchanging over time, so it's no surprise that you are seeing depression raise it's ugly head. As Paul said you get mentally tired, baby steps, you can do this.

Don't try and do this on your own. Do you think that an AD conversation with your doctor, might be useful? How depressed are you feeling?

Do you want to chat about what is happening at home? It's normal to have ups and downs in any relationship friend / sibling / parent /boss etc and when our brains are being hijacked by the BT's it is so much harder to see the woods for the trees. And you dear Jay are also trying to work on your anxiety issues, that is a lot to manage.

You know it's all anonymous, non judgemental and supportive here so anytime you feel like venting, go for it. You're not alone.

Do make sure that you are taking very great care of yourself and tell those anxiety and depression critics to give you some peace!

Hugs.

[BballJ]

Hi Paul,

As always, i love reading your advice, just like Ava's, it always seems to "Hit the nail on the head" and cheers me up just reading it... believe it or not I take so much strength from both of you as i know you are both battling stuff each and every day and to take the time out to post back to me is something I will forever be grateful for, which is why i try to speak to and help as many people on here as possible. Just to let them know I'm there to talk as well.

I understand what you are saying Paul regarding anxiety turning into depression and some days are good, some are bad, i had a good day today but who knows what tomorrow will bring, like i said earlier in these posts, when i am alone, i think think think and think some more and dwell on every little thing. It so vicious as you would understand. My counselling is helping but i am only 4 sessions in so i understand there is a lot of work to do, I came close to tears last session, however it just feels every session new stuff comes up and it's getting quite overwhelming, my counselor understands this as she is trying to tackle things one by one.

Your posts always help me Paul, big and small, i always take something from them, and i am forever grateful for that.

My best for you as always, Jay

[BballJ]

Hi Ava,

Thanks again for your response, I smile when i see that you have replied to my post 🙂

I understand everything you are saying and part of me is considering going back on the AD's i was initially given, i just stopped them as i told you earlier because i was concerned health wise but i do remember taking them, they started to make me feel better, i will discuss with my counsellor on Wednesday in my next session. My moods just fluctuate between good and average so much.. it's to the point if i call someone and they don't call me back with what i deem an appropriate time period, I will dwell on it and think to myself, what did i do, did the piss them off, and then i get down about it, it's so odd but that's how bad my over thinking gets, which leads to anxiety and now seems to put me in the most of upset moods. I am just trying to remain strong for everyone in my life... i'm the funny guy, the guy who always is in a good mood, i'd rather see everyone else smiling around me and me be the one upset on the inside.

The home stuff is just a distance that seems to be growing between my wife and myself and i hate to say it because we only got married 3 months ago, I just cannot figure it out and it's just another source of my long list of anxiety triggers. Family relationships seem to be the biggest trigger for me and I am such a family orientated person so i struggle with how it can be.

Thanks for reading and replying Ava, it means a lot to me, i will post a reply on your thread also 🙂

Hugs, Jay 🙂

[Wednesday]

Hi Jay,

Good luck with tomorrow's session, you have bit to cover, so be kind to yourself. The fact that the AD's did help but you chose to back of on them for health issues is a good one to add to your list for tomorrow too.

The first year of marriage can be challenging for all parties, especially as you realise that life has changed you are we, not me anymore and reality hits. Maybe your wife is having her own struggle coming to terms with what married life means? Have you asked her how she is going? maybe she is having a tough time with a friend or at work or is feeling bit unwell.... Maybe she needs a hug? Relationships take work and there are ups and downs, and misunderstandings. Given that you are struggling a little on the anxiety front and those BT's are playing games in your head is it possible that you are misreading the signs? No, I am not saying you are just asking a question.

You don't have to be the funny guy or make the rest of the world happy especially not at your expense. It is a great front you have there and I'm sure your counsellor will at some stage challenge it, but you can only be who you are. After all everybody else is taken and you are not responsible for the rest of the world! You have built some great friendships where you can be real and talk about real issues, that is brilliant. That is the real Jay as is the funny, sad, happy, confused,compassionate and sensitive Jay.

Acceptance of who we are with all our flaws is a hard won battle, but one you will win, because you are putting the work in. Counselling is hard work and it may well play with your head unfortunately it seems to be a part of the process. I think it was Socrates who said an unexamined life is not worth living.

Be proud of yourself, every baby step counts.

Hugs.

[BballJ]

Hi Ava,

Wow, what a great response... actually bought a tear to my eye reading that - I can't ever thank you enough for the support you and many others on these forums give me, it's something I am eternally grateful for and try to pay back in any way I can.

I have my counselling session tonight so will bring up a lot of stuff... Unfortunately and I hate to admit it, the distance being caused in my relationship is my fault... I am creating this distance almost inadvertently... My wife loves me, I understand that but I am struggling with reciprocating that back to her, showing any affection and I am just losing it because of that - She told one of my friends privately that I am happier around my friends than with her and it broke my heart to hear it.. but part of it rang true in my head. These are what my counselling sessions are about currently... I guess I'm just so tired of this and everything... I love my wife and I never want to hurt her but I almost feel like I will... I am struggling around her family too and part of it is.. I moved to her area and live all surrounded by her family... my family is all over Melbourne.. I seem to be building a massive mental wall around myself and not sure how high it's going to go.

I guess this is part of my problem and my wife see's it too... my need to make sure everyone else is happy is falling away with her... I am not doing what I promised to do when we got together, we are young however.. I am 28, she is 26 so maybe that play's a role in it... I do not know.. as you said baby steps and that's all I can do to keep reminding myself of that and as you said start accepting my flaws as a person.

Just got to keep moving forward I guess.

I'll post a reply on your thread also.

As usual, thank you for replying.

My best, Jay

[Wednesday]

Jay don't doubt yourself, it's the BT's doing your head in.

If you read what you just wrote again you'll realise just how much you are trying to manage with GAD.

My suggestion for what it's worth is to include your wife a little more. You're married and are now a team. The two of you are a family, act as though you are and this relationship is forever. this is it the two of you against the world. It takes a while to learn what that means but you have lots of time to make things work. Your wife sounds sad, please don't lock her out. You are both very young and are still figuring out who you are as people and where you sit in the world.

It's nice that you moved to be near her family but that comes at a cost to you. Maybe worth exploring a little?

I have to go but we can talk again later. Oh and I really don't think you should hold me or my relationship up as a star performer, it can all be quite tricky.

Good luck tonight, hugs.

[BballJ]

Hi Ava,

Everyday is a battle with GAD, rears it head in different ways each and everyday, i am learning this each day as i go.

Like i said, a lot to work out through my relationship with my wife, we understand we have issues, but i said to her last night, i need to fix myself to fix us... the amount of unresolved family issues i have would astound you. However we keep smiling and moving forward, that's what we do. The world needs as many happy people as possible and i don't want to be another dark star when the universe needs more shining stars. We have discussed in length about our living arrangements, it always ends up in an argument unfortunately... that is one that will require a lot of effort.

I try not to hold anyone's relationships too high because everyone faces their own battles but if you can see people who make it work then that's something to strive for.

I will post a reply on your threat too.

Hugs, Jay