Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[demonblaster]

Hiya gorgeous 👩‍❤️‍👩 and all lovelies

So good hearing you're doing ok huns.
That's exactly right Grandy you're doing quite a lot more than you were and being anywhere around people is huge for you.
It's good hearing you acknowledging some achieves. You go girl 💃
I really do believe you'll continue doing so incredibly well darlin.
From the day I met you I could see you have the goods because you want and try so hard.
You really are a very brave lady 🤗

😅 Oh dear troubles with the tap hun. Yikes what a mess and getting cold on top of it all poor love. I bet that bath was a godsend.
I say good on you doing it yourself 👍
I bet you're stoked it's working now.
That's something you probs won't forget for next time ☺ well done lovey

Oh darlin that hurts doesn't it.
I wonder if you could talk about that with ww.
It might be something along the lines of her not feeling secure but ok with ww she might see her as a type of carer.

Sounds like you did really well in the house today hun.
Dunno darl that's an easy thing to forget and you did fix it so I wouldn't be too down on yourself lovely.
Mr google aided you so clearly you can follow instructions and do the job. On ya gorgeous.

Absolutely it's horrid. Everythings amplified when we're down isn't it. It seems to go in harder and the dam hurt stays.

You're a beautiful soul dear Grandy Floss. What a kind attitude but shouldn't have been like that for you either. Sux. You're the survivor my lady 😚

Oh good you've a few piccys of gummy.

Hope your sleeps are peaceful restful and calm honeyheart.
Love you very deeply always 🗯
Eternal loving friendship

Nigh nite everyone sleep well 😊

👩‍❤️‍👩💜💃🛠📍🐻🤗👀🙋‍♀️

[quirkywords]

Grandy saying hello and waving.

as you know I drop by but don’t often post,

I laughed about the washer as I have done the same thing.

I like the way you keep writing and moving along.

take care

quirky

[Guest_1055]

Grandy I am really sorry about my reply post back to you on the eating thread. I was so blunt and it came across like a lecture. And I didn't even say thankyou to you for wanting to help me. Please will you forgive me? I am concerned I actually hurt you by my bluntness. I appreciate you so much. You are such a gentle soul .

Shelley 💙

[Ggrand]

Hello Shell...

Please sweetheart there’s no need to be sorry..It’s okay...You’ve nothing to be sorry about...I was so scared that I said wrong..and I hurt you....which I feel bad about...I love/like and care for the amazing people here....hate me if/when I hurt people here on BB...

You’re a special person to me Shell..and have helped me when I first came here on a number of occasions to get me outside and feel nature....Your nature thread...

Please Shell....Let’s hug each other and be supportive friends to each other when we’re able to...

care, love and hugs to you dear Shell...🦋💜🤗..

Grandy.....bbl Deebi...💜👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

[Guest_1055]

🤗 Grandy

[demonblaster]

Hiya gorgeous 🤗👩‍❤️‍👩 Shells and all 😊

Sweetyheart just popping in to throw the kettle on and say hi give you a big loving 🤗😚and tell you you're loved deeply adored and appreciated no end.

Take your time beautiful no hurry or need to respond as long as I know you're ok darling friend.

Always by your side sweetyheart 🤝

Look after yourself precious love 👩‍❤️‍👩💜👀🕊⚘🤗😊💃

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Quirky, Shell and everyone....🤗..

Thank you all for your lovely posts..

Shell...a big 🧸🤗..sweety....I hope your okay..

Quitky..I seem to always do something wrong when I fix things...it’s the only way to learn...I’m going to put a washer on Betty’s front tap tomorrow...probably more dramas...

Deebi...I’m fine...Just rested today, after yesterday...My groins, hips and leg are protesting a bit...

Yesterday back to volunteer job was hard on my poor hip/groin..Not liking the new rules, and changes in our work duties, geez we’re only volunteers and they giving us all these orders..yucky now...They have cameras everywhere and a big tv screen...Watching our every move..it’s not for me..it’s like someone always standing behind me watching me and picking faults.. It feels like I am in jail.😠..

Telehealth psychologist appointment on Monday...I don’t think she understands me..she keeps saying memories never go away...(I know that)..the way to overcome them is to self soothe...I’m trying it each morning like she says to because it’s suppose to be retraining my brain to like who I am...I wish it was as easy as she thinks it is...

I have been checking out Dr Google to see how to crotchet a beanie...I might give that a try tomorrow..I know I start so many things but never complete them..I get a light bulb moment to make/do something..get myself all hyped up for the first couple of hours..then I put it away...😂..because I get bored doing it..or think what the hell am I doing this for..if I can get passed what ever it is that stops me from completing things it will be good...Am I the only one that starts so many things and not finish them?..If I make for someone else..I’ll complete it...but if it’s for me...meh couldn’t be bothered..

Thank you for throwing the kettle on... pleased you didn’t throw it to hard...Ouch!!..😂😂😂😂 it bounced of my arm and onto the stove...Thank you for the big loving 🤗😚..I needed it..Thank you for always being by my side..that means so much to me...Love you bbff...now and 4eva dear spirit soul sister...💜👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩...

Sending my care, love and hugs to everyone 🦋💜🤗..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..🕊🌱..

[demonblaster]

Hiya gorgeous bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩 and everyone 😊

So glad you're ok darls ☺
Yip thought you were back to work yesterday daghh what a blow adding to your hip/groin pain. I know work always stirs it and was already painful from the xrays.
Poor love it's very painful I know from I think different reasons.

Yukko the cameras sound pretty average.
As you say youse are volunteers but at least they'll see who works like you do and the ones that don't bother much but I guess they'll pick it up now.

Keep telling the psych huns it's important she knows exactly where you're at and what struggles you have. That way she can help as much as po lovely 🤗

Good for you helping Betty darls.
😆 Yip if we learn from our mistakes we're doing ok. Hope it goes smoothly for you. Be a good job done.
What a beautiful friend you are Floss 💜

Cool good Ole Mr Google that'd be good doing a beanie.
Yes often I start and don't finish and heard a lot do same.
The cold would be a good incentive.
Oh been meaning to tell you Mr darling 😍 wears your hat at night in bed often 😆 I put the sheet up on his head and tuck it behind his ear. He's so cute and I tell him that's the hat you made him 😀 Gorgeous.

You are very welcome beautiful always glued 🤝 we are.
Oops I heard a bit of a clunk uh oh how is that elbow going love 💪 thatta girl flex it annnd relaxxxx...yes well done honeyheart.
Sowwy darling 🙄...I say ...🔊...nurse Deebi ...ahh there you are...👩‍🚀

Always love you dear soul sista you make such a beautiful difference to my and I know many peoples lives. You're awesome hun 🤗😚

👩‍❤️‍👩💜🔊👩‍🚀👀😍🌱🕊🐧

[Paw Prints]

Hello Grandy,

Are we supposed to finish things we start?? We definitely missed that gene in my family. 😀 My dad connected up the taps to the hand basin in the bathroom, but never got around to connecting the drain. My brother replaced his old kitchen with a new one & never attached the doors on the corner cupboard. I have so many part done things that I mean to get to & finish, but somehow they are still waiting & the list grows.

Lass I hope you are keeping the warmth up to your hip/groin with a hot water bottle or heat bag. Have you had the results of your x-ray yet? It's ok if you would rather not say. I hope if they can confirm what is wrong then they can do something to help ease the ouch.

Have the cows wandered down the paddock nearer to you? My neighbour shipped his cattle out a few weeks ago & hasn't replaced them yet. I'm missing watching them as they are usually young & still playful which is cute.

Big hugs

Paws

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Paw 🐾 and everyone...🤗..

Thank you for your posts..

I’m so pleased to hear that I’m not the only one that’s starts things but doesn’t finish them...my spare room (2nd bedroom..looks like a messed up craft room...with unfinished projects covering the beds...When..well if my son comes down it’s a scramble to find places to hide them..and make the room look like a bedroom again.😂..

I didn’t start my beanie yesterday..nor fix Betty’s front tap washer...I will do the washer this afternoon.... Cranky mowed her lawn then offered me to use it to mow my lawn as my lawn was out of control with those horrid weeds...A nice way for her to say..please mow your lawn...So I spent yesterday mowing and throwing up...Those weeds are not good for me..Hopefully Betty’s son will bring down his unwanted mower for me this weekend so I can mow them weekly before they cause me sickness...well that’s my plan anyway..if it eventuates is any story.😂😂..

No I haven’t got the results back from x-ray yet..my next appointment for my gp is 3 weeks away...she had to cancel this weeks for a conference...I use a hot water bottle at night..but not seems to be helping..

I don’t the cameras at work spying on me...

Oh the cows wander down at times..they are big black cows and big brown cows...I like watching them when they play follow the leader..it’s really awesome how they follow follow each other in a single line..

I find it hard to tell the voice over the phone my feelings and what’s going on in my brain..I would like to see the person behind the voice..at times...She talks to me like I’m a child in a voice you use to talk to a small child with...and to be honest that’s really annoying me...I’m not a child to be comforted...I need help to move on..not to be praised like a good little girl..when I go shopping...

I’m mentally doing okay... keeping busy, when I am able to..and sleeping when I’m not...Loving my new bird Ruby..she sing to me..I talk to her, but being a female bird.,she won’t learn to talk back...Only problems are she is messy and untamed...I’m hoping one day she will trust me enough to sit on my shoulder...My dogs also love her...

I’m about to leave to go to Betty’s now to fix the tap and hopefully a cuppa tea..

Enjoy your day everyone..

love you bbff..👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩💜😂🕊🌱..Sisters forever by soul..

Love hugs and care everyone...💜🤗🦋.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..💓🦉🐞🌱🕊⭐️