Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[Ggrand]

Hello Amanda,

I am still here...It's Sunday..I don't have my car...

[Guest8901]

Hi Grandy

Is it your local hospital you're in, and not the next larger town? What do you have in mind to get you home, given you dont have your own car - is a taxi a viable option, or could you phone Betty? Perhaps the hospital have a means of transport you can utilise? Community transport?

But firstly Grandy, before any of that ... will you be okay to go home? Honest answer please. No use going home if you are not able to cope. We all want you better Grandy, you know we all love you to bits!

Amanda

[Ggrand]

It's the small local hospital. No Dr here, they call one in for emergency only, I remember seeing my gp after I was brought here...I'm still in A&E there is only a couple of rooms here and they are full.. I'm okay to go home...It was a combination of not eating, taking meds without food/water and too much alcohol and unable to stop crying, put caused my ectopic heart beats to beat each 3rd beat...,I don't drink wine at all really only to numb my hurting...also a massive headache my mhn called the ambulance when she visited me Friday I have been on a saline drip like forever, my heart is stable now....I want to go home..I feel better now....The drip is out now I need to go home for my doggies. I'm scared and want to go home I rang Betty she is going to look at my dogs and come and see me soon...

[Guest8901]

Oh gosh Grandy, I am so pleased that your MHN is looking after you. It sounds like you are not looking after yourself very well right now. Not eating ... not hydrating ... alcohol ... crying. I lend you my shoulder to cry on Grandy, I really so want to be able to help you. I wish I could. I would be there in an instant ... to help you .. to comfort you .. to care for your little doggies ... to ensure you take your meds and eat properly .. and just to be there for you to talk to if you need someone.

Please try to take better care of yourself when you get home Grandy. I really pleased that Betty is helping with your dogs and coming to the hospital to see you. Of course you're scared, its horrible to be plucked from your home and taken to hospital, worrying that your fur babies are okay, and with a life threatening heart problem. And I know you are really missing our very dear friend Deebi. I know how much comfort she brings you. I am positive she is thinking of you Grandy. But I suspect right now she needs to take care of herself primarily. Same as you need to do now. Please Grandy ... promise me you will eat adequately, keep hydrated with water cups of tea or juice, and remember to take your new meds.

Can you let me know when you get home? I would like to know you got home okay and that your little doggies are fine. They are going to be so happy to see you. But I also know that Betty will make sure they're alright in your absence.

Dear Grandy ... what are we going to do with you? Please be alright ... we all need you around here.

Amanda 💜🤗

[demonblaster]

Ohh dear Grandy what's happening darlin 🤗 wow I woke later this morning and amongst first thoughts were of you. Think often anyway but how uncanny.

Are you ok? Well no you're not you poor darling. Like our beautiful Mandy I too wish I could physically be there with you. Ohh darl Betty will look after your fur babies and she'll be there for you like we are here too, I'm so glad our beautiful Birdy was here too for you.

Sweety please take care of yourself and it all stirred up your heart, I think of that quite often. I/we love and need you. You matter to so many Grandy.

Are the nurses lovely even though strangers. Ahh Grandy so glad your mhn is looking out for you. Have you been eating.

Sweety I wasn't here last night for you but I am always close by. You know how much I love and appreciate you 💜💑🕊

Please please be ok Grandy, we're eachothers strength. Giving you huge long loving hugs. Honey we're 🤝 in this together. Bring on the fire Grandy, use that pain for energy to get through. You're never alone. You have us 🌹

Love you floss 🤗💜

[Guest8901]

Great to see you Deebi. 🤗💜 Really hope you're okay?

Grandy - how are your arrangements going to get home today? Follow the professionals advice, and if they are still concerned about your heart, then let them care for you just a little longer. Dont want you having to go back again, now do we?

Amanda 🌹

[demonblaster]

You have such a beautiful way about you Mandy darling.

Yes I'm ok thanks 🤗💜⚘😚

[Ggrand]

People telling me what to do..I'm really over it..I need to be at home...not here...

My heart is okay now....meds control that again now....ok so I forgot to take meds, that's easy done..

The dr said he is concerned about my mental health now.. and why? .....He won't let me home alone...Betty can take me home but that's all. She has her great grandchildren coming this arvo for a week...

[demonblaster]

Sweetheart 🤗 we all want you safe and the Dr does too.

I know it's not home honey but please Grandy can you let them look after you just till you feel stronger again. We're right here with you sweety. I'd be pretty slacked off if they didn't care. If it was me you'd want me to stay a while?

Try and rest hun. I hope you feel some comfort in knowing you're being looked after and you're very cared about and loved dear friend 🌴

Mandy or was it our Birdy suggested what about doing some fantasy to give your mind a break. Oh sweety you're going to look back on this, you are strong and you can settle beasty I know you can.

Love and so much care sweet friend. 💜💑🌹🤝

Always close by 🤗😚

[Guest8901]

Grandy, are you confident you can manage at home on your own? That you can ensure your own safety and wefare?

If so, can I suggest you calmly and rationally tell the people at the hospital this. Try not to get angry or upset at them, they are only showing their concern for you.

Tell them why you believe you have turned a corner since you were taken to A&E on Friday. Explain to them how distressing it is for you be worrying about your doggies. And that to remain in hospital is counter-productive. Tell them what you plan to do to keep yourself well.

Its unfortunate Betty's availability is limited over the coming week. Do you think your MHN may be an ally for you in convincing them to release you? She could assure them that she will call in to check on you.

Grandy, I'm not trying to tell you what to do, so please dont think that of me. I'm making some suggestions to try to help you find a solution. I too want you at home, but I also need to know you are well enough and safe enough to do so.

Hope you get home soon. Big hugs and much love. 💕

Amanda