Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[Speak Your Truth]

Hello Grandy, how are you today ? I really, really REALLY hope you are continuing to feel better & better & BETTER !

I was thinking of U a lot today Grandy (you too if you’re reading this Birdy & Sez & others too.) I know from your posts that U live in a very small town, & I think I’ve said to you before that I am on the outskirts of a ‘big smoke’ & we have the same problem 😏. There are people everywhere here, but I feel sometimes, often, that I may as well be living in a very small town. I’ve got very close neighbours that I’ve never even seen, let alone talked with. So as I guess you know, loneliness is experienced anywhere.

You said yesterday it was really cold & going to get colder these next few days where U are. Do you have a nice sunny spot in your house where you can enjoy a hot chocolate drink ☕️🍫 with your furry friends curled up beside you ? And I hope you can please tell me you have heating, I can’t bear to think you don’t 😳, what kind do you have?

Grandy you said on my thread “I'm the same I know what could help me but motivation gets in the way” - do U think that what we REALLY want is for some magical warm & caring person to regularly be there for support, do the washing, shopping etc, give us hugs, verbal encouragement etc. (those things would inspire motivation in me I’m sure) until we can get strong enough to do what we need to for ourselves. I can’t remember when I last felt I was being looked after. To have someone say “here’s a glass of wine, you sit there & relax, I’ll let you know when dinner is ready” would be absolute heaven wouldn’t it?

You also said your bursitis is bad. If U google “Bursitis can now be treated” look for the page called “Osmopatch,” which offers natural, drug free pain relief. It’s an Australian website. Perhaps that might be helpful for U.

Yes, I have seen a psychologist, but what I really need is lovely, caring people in my life, I need company, hugs, encouragement. Psychs don’t provide that.

A routine - somehow I get done what I absolutely has to get done, but I do have help with housework every 2 weeks, so I do nearly none of that. It takes me ages some mornings to get going if I’m staying home.

It’s been a lovely day here today & I took myself off to enjoy a bit of nature for a while. It was beautiful & peaceful. I was glad that I went, but was rather painfully aware I would have enjoyed it more with company. It’s so hard to get away from thoughts like that in your head isn’t it.

You’re in my ❤️ Grandy

[Ggrand]

Hello , Cala Amanda and everyone..

Amanda... thank you for always been with me. Your care is very much appreciated..

Cala.....My husband had more or less isolated me from my younger brother and friends, and I was always to scared to have a girlfriend after I bought one home and he tried to hook up with her.....I think my loneliness stems from my family being a long way from me......I have looked at rentals close to them but to much dollars....I don't know I'm confused atm..I'm starting to get out a bit now darts on Monday work on tuesday.. If I can get over my fear of people....Maybe things will be better..

That would be nice to have someone here, just to talk to me....for them to do my housework etc, my guilt would be over the top..On my bad days I will do something, it could be sweep one room, or clean the bathroom, but everyday I will try my hardest to do something, Motivation comes I think when we have someone....to show them what we have achieved or we clean the house for them not us...we cook healthy meals to enjoy together....I think motivation comes easily with a partner or friends..

Ive tried those osmopatch, their just a money spinner, they don't work at all and are expensive..cortisone needle ouch big time, worked for a month relief...

Deebi..Maybe next year I will have 7 🍊😂.. I tried to go into bed this afternoon, I sat on my bed then lost it....I had another long cry....I can't do it....I feel so useless and not good about me sometimes....I'm not down, well not like before...I think I'm feeling more defeated, useless and sad then down....that I can't be stronger in holding in my emotions...I'm okay Deebi, so please don't worry...

Awe Deebi Can I use the 12.9 minute bedspread on the lounge instead of bed..Please.🌹...i know it's going to be cloud softness, and the warmest, snuggliest, bedspread ever🌹...

I hope your day was a good day, and you had super fun with your friends....😁🤗...I hope you dressed warm and stayed warm, ..just in case you need it,, I don't know how to spell it..I crotcheted a nice warm wooly but delicate lacy shawl.for tomorrow or whenever you go out..

I hope everyone has a good day tomorrow,.🤗.

Love you Deebi..💜🌹👀..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌹Grandy..

[Guest_1584]

Hiya grandy.

Yeah l remember all your shop dramas , damn life can suck sometimes right and so can people , big time.

So ya hit the old sofa hey , does it help ? l dunno why , 16mths at our house on my own, worst 16mths of my life but for some reason l could sleep on the couch , was a life saver. Almost feel like moving to the lounge here actually , maybe the place won't feel as big then, Got a gorgeous big bed built myself though in the bedroom , be a shame not to use it . l've been trying to retrain myslef to sleep daughter said l was lookin like a drugo l thought hmm, maybe this no sleep is knocking me round,. been getting back to 5 and 6 and 7 hours , bit of a shame though , l miss the night.,

at least you like the views and surrounds there too grandy , sky , that's a big thing. Sorry about the stuckness though , damn. l have to move end of yr, l think it's best. l've moved so many but not looking forward to another now. l wonder if your family could help in some way , l know things weren't good for awhile but , just a thought , or could you rent your house out ?

lt's great you've got a few days out now , darts and stuff , good goin, hope it helps a little.

Hang in there.

rx

[demonblaster]

Hey Grandy and all ☺

Hope todays a better one for you sweety and you got a more solid sleep. I was awake at 2 till 4am. Oh oh.

😂 So 7🍊 is the goal. You can do it Grandy. Oh..oh.. have you been feeding it Weetbix? I think probs not.

Hey you gave it a go back in your bed hun, give yourself time. You got triggered and if you don't put any pressure on yourself hopefully when you're ready it'll be easier. Yes darlin you can use the 12.9 min bedspread on the couch and on the subject how absolutely gorgeous is the shawl you crocheted for me, love it 😍 you're so sweet and thoughtful. So nice you asking if I was dressed warmly 🤗☺

Be careful holding emotions in hun, they fester. I've had success with Wolfy saying feel it, breath through, is there a positive anywhere in it then let it through and relax. It's out that way.

Glad you said you'll be ok sweets.

Going later with friend to a thingy, live music few bits and bobs so should be ok.

Hope you have a really good day hun and everyone 💗

Love you Grandy 💜🤝👀💗

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi,

Thank Deebi, I slept okay..I'm thinking I might get the aerobed back out and pump it up and use that in the lounge room for a while, I think maybe better for my hip, sleeping on the lounge usually don't turn much and with two little dogs sleeping on top of me not really comfortable..😂🤣.

Oh 😱 Now why didn't I think of weetbix, I'll feed and water the 🍊 🌲 tomorrow with weetbix 😁... Your a classic Sweetheart, always you lighten my day.. I'm pleased you like the shawl..💜..

I have a hard time of doing that, .feel it, breathe through, finding a positive, then let it flow through....As soon as I feel it, my emotions are full blown.... I'm trying to understand how to...

Sounds like a good afternoon/evening out for you, I hope you enjoy yourself and friends..Live music is the best can't get better then that...How's you 💃🏻 moves Deebi,? I hope you get on the dance 💃🏻 floor and dance up a ⛈ storm... Just be aware of your back, shoulder and neck..

Hope your days 😊 a good day hun....as well as everyone else's day..

love you Deebi,💜🤗👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🎩🦄.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌹Grandy....

[demonblaster]

Hey our dear Grandy and all ☺

Dah soz I answered on my thread instead of here 🙄

Glad you slept better but doesn't sound ideal so eurobed sounds like a go. I was thinking too maybe you could take the mattress out but Euro be easier.

Geez hope you've got enough Weetbix I have em in the mornings. I'll pick some from our 🌲 tree before ✨ come out. That was nice our hot 🍵🍫 under blanky and ✨ last night.

Ok I might 😴🛏 here again if ok so I might just quickly and I mean quickly 🛴 since you turbo'd it up with your 🛠 oh btw the band aids off tooshy now and I'm able to sit on it which is a nice change from laying on my side or standing on my head 🙃 and grab my nighty and Shawl you made me.

Oh.. oh.. nearly forgot..excuse me 🤾‍♀️into your 💼..it's ok I've got a rope around my foot and an anchor (can't find one) cause I got a widdle 🎁 for you. AH huh there it is... alright I'll tell you... it's a pweddy little hair comb you know the type, you open it and both sides open and close. It's quite spectacular because depending what you're wearing 👗👠👚 it changes colours to suit. And look it's clamped onto that 🍫 you found at Doolsys place. I'll just grab it. We can share it later 😚😎🤗..

Have a lovely night beautiful lady. Keep up on the up dear friend.

Big L💜 V E 🤗💗

Nigh nite lovely ones hope you all 😴well too 🐧

🕊all

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi,

I got the eurobed down and pumped it up...okay maybe sleep a bit more tonight. So much needing it, to keep pulling up....😵😵😴... I need decent sleep tonight and tomorrow night for darts and volunteer..

I ran out of weetbix and Ive been having porridge for breakfast...I hope you deliver it by 🛴..when you come to stay at mine....but becareful you don't fall again.dont want you upside down driving 🙃.....It's below zero tonight so I think we will have to take the heater outside with us if we watch the ✨..

Lol don't fall in my 💼 Sweetheart, 😂..it's really deep, it's bottomless remember...Oh..Oh..Oh...💼wait..here..it..is..ahhh.⚓️..maybe I should get you some 👓 to help you 👀. I didn't tell you it's also a magical bag,money I know the Magic that behold s it..😇..

I will try that pweefy little spectacular comb out tomorrow I can put it in my purse and take it everywhere I go...thank you....Oh but the 🍫 We can share and eat tonight maybe a Deebi...

Ok I better try and sleep soon, I'm looking forward to playing darts 🎯 tomorrow, but not the going out, and not the people part of it..,still really a struggle to get out and talk to people I keep telling myself, I'm doing the best I can....6 months ago I couldn't even go out my front door... I'm taking each day as it comes...

Sleep well everyone, 🤗🤗..

Love you deep Deebi 💚..different colour tonight..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌹Grandy...xx

[Speak Your Truth]

Hi grandy

just saw your post to MF, so maybe you are still on line.

Have you climbed into your air bed yet ? and is it warm and comfy for you ? I do hope you sleep 😴 💤 well tonight.

Did you get snow today ? It seems the snow was pretty widespread out in the central west. It looks pretty to see on tv, but I’m sure it can be a challenge in some ways for many. It’s been very cold here at my place today, but no snow and at least the sun was out. I got two lots of washing done and dried in the wind so that was good.

thinking of you Grandy, keep warm, sleep well and dream of tomorrow and Tuesday being good days for you.

🌻🌟👍❤️

[Peppermintbach]

Hi lovely Grandy and all,

I really hope your Eurobed helps you sleep a little better...it sounds like you have a lot of sleep to catch up on.

I love how you’re taking each day as it comes. I feel you’re making progress and it’s beautiful how you are starting to recognise it yourself. As you said, it was a struggle to leave the house 6 months ago...I hope it’s okay if I say that I feel proud of you 🙂

Your earlier post to me here was so kind and caring. Thank you so much...it warmed my heart. You’re most welcome with the picnic basket and spending time exploring a rainforest sounds like a wonderful idea. I bet we will spot really interesting flora and animals there 🙂

How about I put some lamingtons, thermos of tea, thermos of coffee, buttered croissants, fruit salad and packets of chips in your picnic basket? Lots of food for a rainforest adventure. Maybe we will even see some butterflies. I hope so...

Thank you for being my friend.

Love and care,

Pepper xoxo

P.S. An enormous thank you for the lovely post on my thread. I have found it very comforting and it made me smile. I’m blessed...

[demonblaster]

Heyaz ☺

Ohhh Grandy I feel awful..I was for some reason thinking darts was tomoz and didn't wish you a lovely night 😓 So sorry darlin, hope you're giving the snooties your best efforts. Get em sista 🎯 pogo stick bullseyes lol.

Did you get your blood taken today or is that tomoz. You see MHN don't you soon too. Oops I'm all ballsed up. Sowwy 🙁🙃 Hope work tomorrow goes well, I'll be thinking about you, do anyway ☺ and that the new blokes a nice guy.

Phooey held on tight 💪to 🛴 wow 😨my hairs straight now, went so fast but got your Weetbix ..pant..pant...excuse me while I just breathe.

Oh thanks for the ⚓ yeah needed it cause your 💼 being bottomless so was a bit worried 😲 lucky I had my parachute on then jumped the trampoline back up. Yes thanks I'll use the 👓 and maybe 🎣 next time. Did you install a 💡& I might need 🔎too.

Ohhh Struth cold enough where you are. The heaters working a treat with blanky and your slippers 😁

I'm also very proud of you Grandy you're seriously making great strides towards improves in your life. I always knew you have the goods because you're prepared to try anything.

Hope you have good days and enjoy the nice ladies company at darts dear friend. You're a treasure. Love you very much sweet lady 💚💗👀💼🍫🤗😙

Peps you're so beautiful 🤗

Nigh nite all. Good sleeps 🕊