Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[demonblaster]

Hey beautiful 👩‍❤️‍👩 and everyone 👋

Yes unless people have experienced situations it's hard to understand I'd think too.
Empathy would have to be a strong quality I'd think compassion and caring are important because they're dealing with peoples pain and in extremely vulnerable circumstances.

Oh Grandy I've said this before and mean it darlin you're the winner and by far the strongest out of the horrible people you've had to deal with and the cruelty you've endured.

They hurt you deeply and scarred you but they didn't break you 🤗

You could have come out of those relationships a nasty bitter heartless uncaring angry lady but no you remained a beautiful gentle caring loving compassionate kind lady with a top sense of humour.
You're the best friend anyone could ever want.
Your strength character and determination is an inspiration beautiful love I'm sure to many.
Love you so much Grandz and want you to know peace and happiness which I do believe you'll achieve and you certainly deserve.

What a great suggestion to Monks about the fish tank hun.
Fish are sposed to be quite soothing to watch. I can imagine cause they glide so gracefully and seem content.

Good I really hope this new Social worker works out.
Would they be replacing the one that talks to like a child?

No it's not at all fair how people can have such a hold do so much damage and linger.
To someone so horrible a beautiful gentle kind person might make them feel threatened. Dunno can't understand mutts like that.

It really is fantastic hearing you say you're ok and thoughts are behaving. That's down to you getting control over your reactions I reckon and keeping busy too would be a big plus.

Haha bit of noise in the Grandy household eh 😄 the gorgeous bunch of lovelies. Yip 😆 sounds like you've your work cut out for you teaching them harmony with their noise 😄

Love you heaps precious. Hope your sleeps better and hips behaving.

Sweety no need for replies I know when and if you're up to so no probs. You never ignore and I know you love me as I you 👩‍❤️‍👩💜

🌈🌄🗯👀🌱🐩🐻🤗

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Magic and all...🤗hugs..

Thank you for your posts...

I’m doing okay..I suppose more of a rant then anything else..Got to get it out sometimes..Better out then in.😁..
I’ve put all my hope into my new councillor...Giving my all to her...hoping she can empty out my vault and help me to see that I can have a life without constant memories and thoughts downing me...Yes Deebi..My GP...told me to only talk to one or their support could clash...

We’ll get their..🕊🌱..one day it has to happen, for all of us..

I could never hurt anyone..ever..I don’t understand how people who have been hurt by another person can treat another the same way...knowing how much hurt that it caused them....

I have marked the next VC appointment on my calendar...that way I won’t forget...😁

Not liking to have to sort clothes the day they come in...It’s not wants supposed to be done...No face masks are supplied..gloves are and hand sanitizer is as well...They’re not working with the safety standards that have been set up...It’s okay for the boss, he doesn’t do much more then tell us what to do...

The heat pads didn’t really work that good...but I liked the warmth from them...

Bettys family, kinda adopted me a few years back...When I used to help Betty baby sit her great granddaughters over each weekend....

Living and doing things for other people is so easy...living and caring for myself is so hard...I’ve never really done that before..always I had other people to keep happy..needing to know how I do that for me is hard....

I hope everyone’s weekend was as good as you wanted it to be...

Love you Deebi..💜🧸🤗...very much..

Please you be always okay..that goes for everyone...🌹⭐️🐞🎁..

love, care and hugs to you all..💜🦋🤗..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy

[demonblaster]

Dear Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 hi everyone ☺

Hope you're still holding well lovely and that the weathers not making you feel blagh. Nice sunny 🌞days ordered.

Yes definately a good thing letting it out. It can eat at us and cause stress if it stays in eh.
It's hard to explain a lot of the time though.
I'm so glad hearing you're holding.

Oh that's good news having the one that's caring Grandy. She sounds nice. Do you still have ww I hope so.

So is your next VC next wk?
I was going to calendar it too but remembered then kept forgetting.

For sure darl 🌱🕊 I do think we're reaching our goals slowly but surely.
We're sifting yrs of pain.
Do you feel you're making progress Grandz? I do about you in several ways.

No I'm not liking you having to do the clothes straight away either.
Wonder if an email could help to the supervisor.
I know you wouldn't be comfortable doing that it's your health though that comes first. Doesn't sound right huns at all.

Beautiful that they kinda adopted you.
You'd have known them a while I imagine cause you and Betty have been good friends for a while I think.

Been thinking about your beanie you seemed quite keen to make lovey.
Probs said before about reading a couple of fiction books and was about knitting gatherings.

One said which I believe would be true that it's a calming activity. Achievement too would be satisfying.

Grandy please take good care honey.
I know it's hard for you but It's your time now and you're so allowed.
Love you dear friend always 👩‍❤️‍👩💜

🦋🌹🕊🌞🌈🌄👀🗯🌱

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 and everyone..🤗.

Im doing okay thank you Deebi...

I didn’t go to volunteer job...really not able to face it today....

VC appointment is 2 weeks from this coming Thursday...

Both my sons are in the COVID hot spots..I’m really worrying about them all...dil still not strong after chemo.....ES owns a business only 3 kilometres away from the major outbreak, and still operating...YS is in a hot spot as well...I wish I was their to make sure they are doing the right thing..

Oops I totally forgot about the beanie..I done two rows then put it away...maybe tomorrow I’ll get it back out...Umm it would be calming if I didn’t want it to be finished before I started it...I hear people say that the journey is better then the end..I want the finished product without the journey 😁.

No rain today...yay I let the dogs outside..Betty’s fur baby is a big handful to look after..I will be pleased when she gets back home..

I do Deebi..feel I’m making progress..I can go out shopping on my own now....Sometimes chat with Mrs neighbour..Oh she hurt her hand yesterday catching her new big dog that escaped...She had a trailer load of wood that needed to be emptied within half an hour..for trailer pickup...I helped her unload and stack in onto her veranda...She was so grateful of my help and I felt good inside myself for helping her...

I miss fussing over someone...caring for someone..looking after someone...doing things for them...not in a relationship way....I can never trust men again...I have accepted that I’ll be on my own for the rest of my life...except for my fur and feather family😁..Love them all..they are my family..

I hope you day was good...and sleep is refreshing for you all..l

Love you dearest bbff...💜🧸🤗..

kind thoughts, care and hugs 🌹🤗💜..everyone,,,

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..🕊🌱..

[monkey_magic]

Hey Grandy!

Congratulations on the new title!

You will do great. Your love reaches ppl through the screen.

You've walked miles in so many ppls shoes so have the knowledge and heart to really make a difference here.

❤️

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Magic and everyone....🤗.

Thank you so much Magic...

I hope you are right..

I love being on the forums when I can, and try to help people..

I needed to do this for me...some commitment and structure... Something that will help me to feel not so useless every day by sitting around and doing nothing with my life...

If I can help people even just that little bit more...Then I hope I feel like I’m contributing something of myself to support others and start to feel more useful...and better inside myself...

Deebi..I hope you’re okay dear bbff..Love you.. 💭 24/7..💜🧸🤗🕊🌱.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..🧸🤗🌹

[monkey_magic]

You've come a long way.

Well done

♥️

[blondguy]

Hi Grandy!

My heartfelt congratulations on your appointment as a Community Champion 🙂

you are an asset to Beyond Blue and the forums

Like Monkey Magic mentioned above....'You have come a long way'

please be proud of what you have accomplished....you deserve it....Paul x

[demonblaster]

Grandy you know I dearly love you too honey.

I really hope it's going smoothly for you. Feel so stink I'm not here supporting you when you're doing such an important thing. You really are a brave and such a good hearted lady.

You're beautiful, here's lucky to have you and so is anyone you talk too.

Yes Croix. Grands I'll talk soon huns. Just need a bit of time lovey 🤗

Very best to you and good for you ✊

Bbl sweetyheart. Hope your day was good.

👩‍❤️‍👩💜🗯🕊🌈🤗🌹

[Paw Prints]

Hello Grandy,

Congratulations on becoming a community champion 🤗

You definitely deserve it, you help so many of us with your care & kindness

Hugs

Paws