Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[Croix]

Dear DB, Grandy, Paw Prints and all~

I think the idea of you cooperating over a mindfulness course (even if you are late stating DB) is an excellent one. I'm afraid like Quirky my brain does not seem to 'get it' properly, but if I'd tried wiht a couple of freinds then I might have done better.

So I use the free app Smiling Mind, which is designed to lead you to a sort of mindfulness. It suits me because here are directions, and then reminders, which stops my mind from wandering off (It's good at that).

Hopefully you will get a lot of benefit from the course, it would add another to your list of coping mechanisms, always a good thing.

🎶 <- this is the horrible background music you can switch off in Smiling Mind

Croix

[blondguy]

Hello Grandy

I hope its okay to send you some bear hugs and my sincere thanks for sharing your wisdom/life experience to help others feel better about themselves..Your posts are calming and caring Grandy

Maybe I am old fashioned yet I am still still trying to understand 'mindfulness' (as per my own thread title) I agree with Croix that 'mindfulness' is difficult to understand....as it is!

Its good that 'mindfulness' hasnt been mentioned on the 'Coping during the Coronavirus Outbreak' thread topic as it wouldnt be helpful to the new members going through this difficult time

Mindfulness is different for everyone as you mentioned Grandy 🙂

I hope you are doing okay....Paul

[Ggrand]

Hello Croix, Paul...🤗..

Its always a pleasure seeing you when you call in..

Paul, I’ll definitely take those bear hugs...Cyber hugs warm my soul so much as real life hugs are very scarce in my life...thank you also for your kind words..another soul warmer...You are a very gentle soul Paul..with lots of time and care for others in this community..

I agree Paul..mindfulness is very confusing...also very intriguing..Your thread, started my curiosity about mindfulness, and how it can be a soothing tool in times of deep depression, anxiety or sadness....I think it’s a good idea that it hasn’t been brought up on the Corona thread..as a lot of people are struggling so much...

Croix..I hope that with 3 of us doing the course together at least one of us might understand and can help the others if needed...

I tried smiling minds..and used it for a year or so...now I use insight timer...but mostly at night when I close off the lights and in bed I use sleep stories every night..The stories are peaceful and on a few occasions have dreamt of the story I was listening to....I can’t recommend them enough..Dan Jones is a hypnotist, and teaches meditation....reads the stories.

Paws..I listened again last night to the video...am I thinking right..that what she’s saying is mindfulness is in fact a type of....or is meditation?...I closed my eyes to listen to her because I also found her a bit annoying..

Hello Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, and everyone else listening..I hope you have a wonderful Saturday...with peace, and happiness in your new given day...

My care, love and hugs everyone..🦋💜🤗..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy...

[Paw Prints]

Hello Grandy,

What I think I will do with the videos & reading stuff is with each one I will list what they talked about, until we get a better idea of how this whole thing works.

Week 1. Video 1. By using mindfulness we can:

• What we practice gets stronger
• We can retrain our mind
• We can learn new paths of thinking
• We need to be as kind to ourselves as we are to others
• We can learn to stay in the here & now by practising meditation

I didn't think she really wasn't clear about how meditation fits in & apart from the being kind by saying good morning to ourselves I didn't think she really explained the other points very clearly especially the bit about putting guilt/shame behind us. Maybe you followed that bit better than I did.

If you don't find my sharing my lists helpful, that's ok let me know & I will just write them for me on my pc. Please tell me if you think I've missed or muddled bits & especially please if you have questions ask them, because it will help both of us.

The one big thing I got from her talk was that if we were all more like dogs the world would be a much nicer place.

Hugs

Paws

[Paw Prints]

Hello Grandy,

Week 1 Video 2.

He was much easier to listen too & he really only made a few points so was much easier to follow

• To begin with don't try to be mindful all the time.
• Try to just notice one sensory thing about being in the here & now for a few seconds & try to sneak these moments into our everyday life
• Doing the timed sensory awareness for 10 min or so is like going to the gym it just helps us to practice being in the here & now.

I watched this one a twice, I think that he was trying to give a few examples of each point, but I'm wondering if perhaps what I thought were examples were really other points that I'm missing. Let me know what you think.

(Yes it is after 4am...my brain is busy chasing thoughts & doesn't want me to sleep tonight, so I thought I would watch the video & then the night won't be a complete waste)

Hugs

Paws

[Ggrand]

Hello Paws..Waves Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..and all..

Im sorry Paws that you had a hard time sleeping last night..because of your brain chasing thoughts..it’s hard to stop them sometimes..well most times....I spoil myself each night and listen to bed time stories..They have been working for me most nights since I started listening to Dan Jones....

I am sorry Paws..I haven’t listened to the 2nd video as yet, but will tonight sometime..I need to be calm before I can understand and absorb what their talking about..The first video...Your notes are about the same as I understood her...thank you for posting them..

I hope your day has been good to you dear Paws and you caught up on sleep..

My care, love and some hugs to everyone..🦋💜🤗..

Grandy.......bbff =🌜🐻🤗💜🌛..

[Paw Prints]

Hello Grandy,

Sorry I haven't been here the last few days, I haven't been in a good headspace.

How are you lass? Has the weather been nice enough for you to spend time on your verandah or in your garden? Did I read somewhere that the cows will be coming back to the paddock near you soon? That would be lovely. I find it so calming watching the cows when they are in the paddock next to my place. They are such characters.

I had a chuckle at your description of Kya sounding like an angry elephant when she snores. For a big dog Woofa has a very quiet snore, but when he's dreaming his woofs, growls, snorts are anything but.

Sending you huggily hugs

Paws

[Peppermintbach]

Hi gorgeous Grandy (& a wave to all),

I just wanted to see how you have been doing, lovely one. I see you have been cooking up a storm...rice, spaghetti, and pasta. Wonderful comfort food 🙂

I hope you have been enjoying the nearby paddock & watching the local wildlife. I know how much peace & comfort that brings...

I would just like to drop off some dinner treats for your fur babies (I hope they like it!) plus a warm pumpkin soup & a fresh bread roll for you.

But what I really came here to do was to say thank you for your gentle support recently. I felt your care & compassion through your words...thank you, lovely one...

A big hug & much love,

Peppy xoxo

[Ggrand]

Hello Pawsy, Peppy, Waves bbff👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..and everyone..🤗..

Awe Pawsy..I’m sorry sweety that you haven’t been in a good headspace..I’ve been a bit like that the past couple of days...

My WW original worker rang me yesterday, I’ll call her S...I was really not good when she rang me...I I cried a bit, I’m just so emotional lately...She asked me if I needed taking to the shops for shopping..I said no..S said yes you do...She wanted to take me for a drive and a walk around the caves (which are closed) close by..and the only way she could take me out is if I needed shopping..I agreed with her...

S picked me at at 11.30am..and we went out to the caves and walked around their for a while..I started feeling better..and enjoyed the walk..I posted in the walking thread..S and I were the only ones their..

Paws..I haven’t done anymore on the course, by all means sweety,...Don’t let me hold you up..You do it whenever you’re feeling up to it...I just can’t get my head around to it atm....But I will..because it’s something I’m very much wanting to learn....

Kya has been snoring since I got her at 4 weeks old...as she is getting older her snoring is worse..The vet said nothing to worry about Ebony is the dreamer..her little legs galloping sometimes..and cries a lot, which sounds heartbreaking...I gently wake her when she cries..poor, Ebony and Woofa..I wonder what they dream of...

Peppy..I can’t wait until the cows are put back in...unfortunately a lot of his fences were washed away a couple of moths ago, when we had a deluge of rain in an hour....The grass is really high over the paddock, plenty of munchies for them...,they make sitting outside more exciting when they lay under the big gum tree...

My furs thank you for the treats you gave them...as soon as I say do you want a lolly..They both run to the cupboard and can’t sit still..they jump around like they are full of ants..

Thank you for the pumpkin soup and bread roll....and your gentle words..I wish I could be more support for you Peppy..I don’t understand why I find it hard to understand your posts at times..you and Birds both have beautiful unique ways of speaking..You both know each other so well..and have a beautiful friendship...that warms my heart me to listen to....oops I’m ear dropping at yours.😁🌹.

Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩...bbff..Please be okay....always...deep love bbff..👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩💜🐻🤗..

Sending you all my love, care and hugs....🦋💜🤗..Love you all...

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..

[monkey_magic]

Hi Grandy,

It's great hearing you felt better after your walk with S. Being emotional a lot feels yukky. Great to hear this shifted for you in that moment.

I just had some ice cream with Milo...it was yum.

Hopefully you can choof off ( you've given me a favourite word) that bad headspace. I went to the supermarket and felt much better...I just wanted to continue doing things but went home like a good girl lol....it was just really good to be out in the elements for a bit then buying things.

Hope you have a deep sleep tonight and wake up refreshed tomorrow. And if not I'm sure you'll still be your champion self because you get through so much. Ur such a fighter to keep picking up again. Same with DB...with her bipolar...

Hope you two besties r doing ok during these times and everyone else that needs to hear it. I find it a struggle but so is life too for a lot of us. As long as we can dust ourselves off and keep on trying...

That song- if at first you don't succeed- dust yourself off and try again...just came to me.

I don't have a 🐕 dog like a lot of ppl on here, wouldn't mind some animals...maybe one day when I move out.

Cheerio people...please keep your head above water Grands and keep reaching out when u need to.