Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[Speak Your Truth]

Hello Grandy.😄. It’s been quite a long while since we exchanged posts on your thread, but at last here we are again. So much has happened to us all - drought, fires, flood and more - in the last six months, the last year. It’s incredible looking back 😢. And now we all have Covid. So much will have happened for you in your own life too and a lot has happened in mine also.

Grandy I’ve picked up on a little bit of what has been happening for you and I’m so sorry you are continuing to deal with so much. But continue to deal with it you do, so well done you 👏. I’m giving you many big virtual pats on your back - I’m sure you are much stronger than you think 👍

Grandy you are a very, very kind, caring, generous and thoughtful person with such a big heart ❤️. You deserve lots of warm and wonderful lovely people and things in your life, so I’m very happy for you that so many of these lovely people on these forums are there for you. Wouldn’t it be fantastic if we could all meet up 😄

Life has been “busy” for me too - everybody has stuff to deal with, don’t they ! I’ve had challenges but was sort of ok, until the fires got really bad in my area. We had some very scary days and then they got much more scary and I started going downhill again. Somehow I think the fires were scarier for me than Covid is now, because I think I’m in a sort of denial about it. It all seems so surreal and just too big to take in doesn’t it. I’m observing the restrictions very carefully, spending a huge amount of time at home and alone which is very difficult, but I am safe and well. I do go out to buy food and scripts and take my dog Possum, and myself, for a walk.

The weather is good here at the moment so I’m appreciating that. I’ve spent time in the garden, crocheting, watching tv, reading, sleeping late (easy when mornings are so cold), doing housework etc - but somehow my place is still untidy, there’s still vacuuming and dusting to be done, dishes in the sink etc etc - I never seem to catch up. Sigh - I don’t like housework 🥴

It’s dinner time now a Grandy so I must go get it together. Until next time take care to be safe Grandy. Cala 🤗😘🦋🌷🌺

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Paw 🐾, Cala and everyone..🤗..

Paws, your mental image isn’t wrong..I shut all the doors to the bedrooms etc..get the towels, shampoo, they know and disappear behind the lounge..are gone.. I move it out, they sneak out the side and over to the other lounge..I move that out and it’s chasing all over the lounge, kitchen dining room..even a treat they don’t come out with....😂..once their in wet and bubbly and being massaged with soap..they love it....

Deebi, Paws...I started the mindfulness course today..it’s free for anyone..if you google Palouse Mindfulness the page and course comes up...Maybe Deebi, Paws. You both might join me it could be beneficial for us...

I have to try to keep the lawn short so it drys quicker after the frost for my fur babies..I was wondering if it’s possible for you to file Woofa’s nail instead of clipping them...

Cala..Yes it’s been a long while...I have turned all outside communication off..ie TV, radio...I was getting to upset hearing about people getting sick and worse..I felt so sad for them..and couldn’t get some words and images out of my mind or thoughts..

I stay in my house or yard..only going out for meds and shopping..that’s about once every 3-4 weeks..I’m pleased you have Possum with you for companionship...Dogs are the best..

My motivation is not much awake.. I have been bit’s around the house and garden..Tomorrow I’m thinking I’ll sort out my clothes wardrobe..for something to do....I don’t like doing housework...I usually do just the basics..sweeping, washing up etc..

I hope being back here helps you some with your struggles lovely lady...I treasure this community and the beautiful friends I’ve made here...I don’t see people’s for weeks nor really talk to anyone..The beautiful friends I have made here are to me my family....I even have my bbff here..my first ever best caring, living friend that I trust 100%, since I was a very young child..

Take good care of you Cala...and everyone as well take good care of yourselves ..

My care, love and hugs everyone...🌈💜🤗..

Deebi🤗..I’ll be back real soon..💜🐻🤗..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..and everyone...🤗..

I went out to the chemist and then grocery shopping today..yay..The WW helper was their as well doing her shopping...We said hello and chatted for a bit..it made me feel more relaxed after we talked and me knowing she was in the shop...

I started the mindfulness course today..it’s confusing and I’ll probably have to listen a few times before I understand..on my previous thread, I have given you, Paws and anyone else who wants to try it the name to google..I hope that you might try and do the course with me...maybe we can help each other through it..3 minds are better then one..especially mine😂...

I’m doing okay Deebi....I think my sleep routine is helping me to feel physically better..which helps with our mh...

I have my Cardiologist appointment Thursday afternoon next week....WW will take me and bring me back... I’m upset with the new ww helper, she made an appointment with the new mental health nurse for the same day as my cardio appointment in the morning without even consulting me first...this means I’ll be out nearly all day...it’s to much for me to cope, especially after speaking to the mhn..which usually is very mentally tiring...This is the second time she’s made appointments for me..without asking me first..I find her a bit to forceful...I wish my regular ww supporter was back at work...🙇‍♂️..I miss her..

Tomorrow I’m going to try to sort out my clothes wardrobe and cupboards...I remember last year when you done yours..You hurt your back when you were doing it...I noticed a lot of my clothes are shrinking since we all started isolation..😂..I’ll keep those hoping once I’m back at my volunteer work, they will unshrink again..😂..

I hope your doing okay and your headache has gone...Please be okay Deebi....always..love you sss...yadimh and my 💭 24/7...365 days...🐻🤗💜👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🦄👼🕊🌱

My care, love and hugs to everyone...🦋💜🤗..Please everyone stay safe..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..🕊🌱🦋🦄👼🌹🍫🍎

[Paw Prints]

Hello Grandy,

I took a look at the mindfulness course, I think trying to do it together is a great idea. It looks like there a quite a few videos to watch so it may take me some time to watch them as my internet connection isn't good at letting me watch videos - lots of buffering & messages telling me I don't have enough bandwidth. It's good we can do it at our own pace, from my reading of it we are meant to watch the videos & read the info for the week we are at before we start. So why don't we start with week ones info/videos wade our way through & if we're not sure of something ask the other to look at it & try to work it out together. Then when we're ready we can start week one.

Paws

[Ggrand]

Hello Paws,.waves and hugs Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🤗, and all..🤗..

Wow I was hoping you would say that..I also hope that Deebi can join us as well...I’m not a very smart person and get easily confused, I’ve watched the first video and have forgotten it already..I think I will be very slow at doing this..

With being able to ask questions to you and hopefully Deebi..I might start to understand it...😁..I don’t want to hold yous back though...

3 different ways of thoughts, can make it easier for us to better understand..Thank you Paws for making that suggestion..

I hope you have a good night tonight..it’s quite warm here..I’m watching Pooch perfect..I love the dogs on their, not so much the fur styles..

Deebi, I hope your okay..pubaok...💜🦋..Said with love 💖..

Kind thoughts, care, love and hugs..🦋🌹💜🤗..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy...🕊🌱..

[quirkywords]

Ggrand,

Dropping by to say hello.

I did a mindfulness course last year I think online and you could leave feedback. Most people said how grest the course was and how they understood it all. I was struggling a bit and was honest and told people I really didn't get it.

Some people agreed with me and others said I was not trying hard enough. I felt alone.

All the best.

It is good you have support.

[demonblaster]

Dear Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 and every lovely person posting/reading 🤗/👋

Sweetheart (love hearing that) I'm not sure why I didn't see these including your posts yesterday 🙃 but caught up now.

Just wanted to say hi send you my love and tell you what an amazing friend you are and that I love you SO much precious friend.

Again it's very late so bbl honeyheart ☺💜

Yes btw would love to do the course had a partial read just a tic ago on the introduction or whatever it was

For me I'd prefer to start when I'm in better headspace but understand if you loves want to start I can slowly catch up ☺ I know our dear Paws had a good idea but heads not working atm properly so I'll reread.

You're so funny about the clothes shrinking... think it's the brand of washing powder ... OMO is a spello...it's meant to say ...OH NO 😄

🤕 thanks huns yip a bit in background ready to pounce but much better and for your lovely (always) post I didnt get anymore done today but a lot to say so will.

Sweetylove I'll bbl to reply properly.

So glad you saw ww shopping and felt more relaxed.

Hey we scored .... Toilet paper sarvo 👏...and the crowd was in disbelief 😲 was laughing with some people about how exciting it is 😅 there was a small pallet and it was emptying REALLY fast!

Nigh note lovely people ☺

Night darling Grandy yes soul sisters by choice. Always deep love 💜🤝👀👂💪🍎🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫 oopsy fell out while I was flogging them from your place...😶...soo..umm... I just said that out loud didn't I...vrroooommmmm...screech....clank...🚑🚒🚎

[Paw Prints]

Hello Grandy,

Lass you don't need to worry about holding me back. I tend to start things like this and then I run out of motivation to keep going very early on. So having you to do it with, will be a big help for me to keep going.

Well I've watched the first video. I found it hard to concentrate because I found her annoying, I can understand you saying you had forgotten what was in it. I'm going to watch it again as I think I must have missed bits as it went for 12 minutes & what I remember from it could have been explained in about 4 minutes.

Have you managed to re watch it yet? (no rush)

It's very cool & blustery here today, I just put Woofa's coat on to keep him snug as I have the back door open to let some fresh air in.

Hugs

Paws

[Ggrand]

Hello Paws, waves to my bbff👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩....🤗..

No..I haven’t watch it again but will before my bedtime story...maybe it might absorb into my brain a bit better..

Im like you..I will start something..then it’s meh for a few days until I can motivate myself to continue...

Its the same here in the central west..sunny but cold winds..it’s like Beasty has gained control of the weather today😂..

Kya and Ebony, like their blankets, when I go to bed I have an extra blanket on the other side that they get lost in...Kya snores a lot, most nights.🙉...when she’s under the blanket she sounds like an angry elephant 🐘.....Gosh I’ve fallen in love with Woofa...He’s so cute...My 2 fur babies would have so much playing with him....So would I....Big cuddles to Woofa..from Kya, Ebony and me....

Deebi...Please take care of you and your headache...Take your time with replies..but please keep me in the loop, as how your traveling.....My wishes for you is that your headache choofs off and you start picking up...Love you dear bbff...💜🐻🤗🌹🦋...

I don’t want to start downing me about my weight, so I thought I’ll blame it on my clothes shrinking..OMO...OH NO..I like that😁..I made a big pot of spaghetti Bolagnaise...which I love, and haven’t made for possibly years...Pasta, rice, bread seem to shrink my clothes more....Not chocolate though 🍫 🍫..So I’ll take back 2 please..the other 4 you can share evenly with Mr. Deebi...

Kind thoughts, love and hugs, 🌹💜🤗🦋..everyone...and hoping your all doing okay...stay safe, keep safe..and be please be very careful with touching anything if you need to go out... ✋🧼🤚...

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..🕊🌱🌹🦋....

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Quirky...🤗..

Im so sorry I missed your post...

Thank you for calling in and saying hello...

I remember when you done that course..I think mindfulness is different for everyone....

My mind confuses itself a lot when I’m trying to learn and it takes a while for me to understand...

Im pleased I have Paws, and Deebi, later on...all helping each other...

Thank you Quirky for calling in at times to say hello...I appreciate your kindness so much..

Good night dear Quirky and everyone....

Kind thoughts, love and hugs..🦋💜🤗.

Grandy..🕊🌱