Hi gorgeous Grandy,
I feel your sadness and despair, lovely one. I know you’re understandably very worried about your dil...I feel your anguish....I think it’s scary when you don’t know what is going to happen to people you care about...
I get the impression that maybe you have a love/hate relationship with your home at the moment, or something like that. On the one hand, I know you’ve described it as your sanctuary...a safe haven away from the chaos & unpredictability of the world. But on the other hand, I think there’s a part of you that is really yearning to venture out a little more...
Sweetheart, as awful as you’re feeling now...I think perhaps in some odd (and painful) way, it might be an indicator that there’s a part of you that really wants change...sometimes I think hitting a particularly low point can act as an impetus/trigger for gradual change...
I know you mentioned a number of shops and Kmart was one of them. I realise your ww team aren’t exactly renowned for their reliability, but I imagine that you’ll inevitably see them at some point...
I wonder, and purely as a gentle suggestion, do you think maybe you could try to work on some new goals with ww? E.g. maybe you could tell them you would like to slowly develop the confidence to visit Kmart and ask them to help you work out a plan...maybe brainstorm together...
It doesn’t necessarily have to be Kmart, but you do sound as though you’re feeling stuck and are craving change. But I imagine you’re also scared of change at the same time...so perhaps that is something to work on...
I’m not saying venturing out of your comfort zone will be easy, and I would think there might be a lot of tears and triggered feelings if you were to do that. But I feel sometimes the painful bits can be an important part of long-term healing...or at least in my own experience at times...just some gentle ideas...
Lovely one, for now, I’m holding a comforting hand out to you and sending precious hugs from me to you with love.
Peppy xoxo
