Our dear, dear Grandy,
I feel your loneliness, isolation and discouragement. I know you’ve been let down so many times and I feel your deep sadness...
I feel for how ww have hurt you by being unreliable. I know your eldest son is often a source of deep sadness. I know you’re confused and worried about his ex as well...
Lovely one, people do need you in real life. Maybe you just don’t see it now...beasty is clever and has a way of casting out the light, but you are needed. Betty needs you. Your fur babies need you. Your grandchildren needs their Grandy. Your youngest son still needs his mum.
As for purpose ...I feel sometimes survival can be its own kind of purpose. Getting through each painful moment of each day. Heavy hearted and dragging feet but still surviving...
Sometimes, I think when things are as rough as they are now, maybe there’s something to be said for trying to get back to basics. To focus on one moment and then the next.
I feel the reason or purpose is less important sometimes, but it’s about survival...whether it’s making a cup of coffee or feeding the dog. Maybe try not to think about “how” or “why”, but just focus on the “do(ing)”..just try to do it without analysing it or thinking if it serves some sort of higher purpose or not: Survival mode.
Grandy, I’m admittedly worried about you. If you find your thoughts sliding further, can I ever gently suggest you try calling Lifeline or another hotline? I say that out of love and care for you.
Or perhaps, could you call lovely Betty for a chat?
My heart is sitting next to yours right now...
Warmth, hugs and deep love,
Peppystar xoxo
