Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[Peppermintbach]

Hi gorgeous Grandy and all,

I’m feeling your deep sense of loneliness...the physical and social isolation must be so painful for you.

You have a beautiful heart with so much love to give, but there’s not many people around to give it to in the offline realm. I feel your sadness...gently holding you hand and sitting quietly by your side.

I’m glad your ear is feeling a little better though. It sounds like the fluids are helping 🙂

Also, thank you so much for your earlier comments about my new avatar. I really like it too 🙂

Now, I’m dropping off a little picnic basket with homemade scones, croissants, fruit salad and a thermos of coffee and tea.

Love and care,

Peppy xoxo

[Lee lee 73]

Hello dear Grandy,

Please, you don't have to apologise- I was crying with you my dear friend.

I hope you continue to improve.

Wishing you a brighter day lovely lady.

Love always 🤗🤗😍😍

Lee

[Tess2]

Hello dear Grandy,

i am so sorry that you have been unwell. If your ear infection is in the middle ear the salt water will make no difference to it and in fact may not help. I am glad you are eating a bit now.

I so identified with what you said about the weekend feeling safe because you don’t get unwanted calls etc. i absolutely feel the same also I feel that way once it is after 6 pm most days as then it is only a friend who may be calling. I dreaded answering the phone.

you must take care of youself. I wish there was a way you could see to having your sons heal the current rift. Sons and mothers eh. I do believe that you are a far stronger person than you give youself credit for.

I am thinking of you and sending you caring vibes. I check here each day to see how you might be travelling.

Tess

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi, Peppy, Lee, and everyone..

Today I’m much better then the last few days..Deebi, it’s the ear that needs operating on..Easy dr said to get infected, but didn’t think fever, dizzy, and omg that migraine...unbelievable...I couldn’t even move it...I was so scared of sneezing, my poor head would have not liked that very much..🤯..

Thank you Deebi, I was careful getting of the lounge...still unable to go into my bed, I start having panic attacks after a few minutes in there, so it’s been the lounge for a few months now....I’m okay with that...

i was thinking about a jasmine vine, or some Ivy, passion fruit, I tried growing when I first came here, they get frost bitten and don’t grow anymore.😒..I never heard of grandfathers beards so I googled it...It looks like a tree/shrub with spiderwebs growing all over it...I like them...I think the birds would love that tree, because plenty of shady spots for them....

I had some weetbix this morning, I’m okay today with eats...especially chocolate 🍫 I have a few days to catch up on..🙃...Will make a chicken stir fry tonight, I don’t put stir fry sauce in it, I like to fry the chicken strips in a bit of olive oil, the add and mix some microwaved steamed vegetables, quick and healthy...

Thank you for skidding over to mine and baking a cake That you were very happy to share...😋 it was yummy..Love 💜 you Sweet Deebi....You are a amazing nurse sweetheart, your care instructions, I followed to the T and you helped me so very much..😌🤗..Love you dearest friend..🌜💜🕊🌱🌛..

Peppy....Thank you for your gentle and kind words..It is really very peaceful here, I mean all day I hear the birds..nothing else and i have bird feeders hanging and around the yard, I get a lot of different types, which really is more relaxing then car noise....I think when we’re sick or down..loneliness really hits harder and consumes us...I am doing okay now...and so very much looking forward to enjoying your picnic basket with you I hope..🍀.

Lee....Thank you Lee yes I’m improving now...and thank you for wishing me a brighter day today..your wish came true for me.....big day for you tomorrow...I’ll be right their with you tomorrow ...moving house is hard work, please look after you.

I think the salt water rinse has helped a lot..Hard working out a way to get it in there...I have a water 🔫 here from my grandson a few years back...so I filled it with salt water and squirted it in my 👂..😂.

L & H. to all.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy🦄💜👼..

[demonblaster]

My/our beautiful Grandy 😊

So glad to hear its all easing off you poor darling. Wish that op would hurry along, understand your hospital concerns but the relief on the other side would be tremendous.

Love your descriptions yes Grandfathers beard has a sedate calming presence about and the gentle shade of Grey too

Ahh sweety 🤗 if you're comfy on the lounge and getting quality rest when you do sleep, in time you may be up to it but for your MH sake good on you. Sorry for you Grandy 🤗 plenty of hugs today you need some extra love.
Good you had 🎄😅 Weetbix, I have them too they've been around a long time and supposedly have a lot of goods in them. Easy for you being soft in regards to chewing. Oh yeah see choccy has it's uses 😄 oh SO many. Salivating. Sounds good the stirfry, I'll try that without sauce haven't done one in yonks. That food thread I'll find one day and add to it, have an idea for a thread, hoping the new system will do sub categories which would be good to attach to that.

Isn't Peps gorgeous also Hope you get to enjoy it toogether.

So glad the salt rinse helping and TESS hi hun ☺ thanks so much for saying that about middle ear and that it may not help, I'll keep that in mind ☺ EN training was basic then tho you learn a lot on the job/s much better training now. For ever saline has been the healer is why. Relieved it hasn't stirred our Grandy up.

Darl I wrote at mine so won't go into much detail here but got disturbed but still sleep sarvo and now have a stuffin head ache which maybe contributed to waking often but looks like the slow release is holding pain, just liitles ouch atm, could flare up but hoping not. Going to avoid much posting tonight but been meaning too at Croixy ages so did. Tried electrolytes but heads got a hold. Swapped pain 🙂 need a prn for it but prefer this than other pain. Early bed tonight.

Out tomoz with very loved friend, dont want to miss with her, she's the one that bought a friend.

Pubok and keep up on improves honey. You're a tough little cooky. Care so deeply about you floss with so much love ☺😚

🌜💑💜💓🌛

Take care lovely people 🤗

[Ggrand]

Hello Tess,

Im sorry your post and mine I think landed very closely...

I have an ear that requires an operation.I forget the name some big long word..and my ear canal gets easily infected, and causes me pain, it also “leaks icky sticky gooey stuff from it, which when I lay on it my inside of my ear gets stuck together...I usually get to it early but it came out of no where this time..Its healing really good now...

Yes your so right after 6pm. Although there are no people here that would visit me...I leased the little towns shop here, then bought this house I’m in because I was going broke, then had to close it and well, not very much liked for that reason...nearest shop now for bread and milk is over 30 kilometres away....

I miss my sons and grandchildren so very much, before the cause of all this..we were so very very close, never a day went past without a phone call or msg from them all...It’s really heartbreaking to think this could happened..I love them and I’m giving them the space they need..it’s really my eldest now, that still hurting....my youngest msg me occasionally and I’m happy about that....One day we will reunite again..I feel that so strongly..

i hope you are doing okay Tess and that everything will eventually work out for you....

Sending you some love and hugs..💜🤗..

Grandy....

[demonblaster]

Hi beautiful just popped my head in to pop the kettle on and make you a nice calming pot of tea with a special Jasmine flower, mulched bark of the famous 🎄weetbix tree which has multiple uses, 18 and a quarter pepper corns and 7 blades of your every day grass which is essential for rehydration. This conconcotion takes affect during the 3rd sip giving the recipient an amazing uplifting feeling washing over them of complete relaxation 🕊 and positivity.

Also chef Deebi 👩‍🚀 busy busy banging pots dropping spoons oops 🙄 slaved over the hot stove & cooked a nourishing healthy breaky, nice and easy to digest...these ever so slightly chocolate coated Weetbix are marvellous for headaches, ear aches and excite the tastebuds in a frenzy... so there's 3, couldnt nab anymore choccy from Peps warehouse she's got cameras on high alert and flood lights. You should've seen the gigantic 🔐but couldn't believe my 🤤eyes, the 🗝 was in the lock 😁 only hitch was my invisible cape got caught on the edge of a chocolate pallet and it fell off, not pwetty, lucky Mandy was there to help me Starts and Lee were look outs. Hey dats the breaks in the underworld special ops swiping scene. Lucky I had my Elle Mcphersons face and body on. HUH Peppys cameras will NEVER guess. Nya ah ah...

Best of luck with doc darling, drive carefully and continue on the good road to recovery gorgeous lady.

Stay with that Grandy that you'll reunite, I can't imagine anyone more deserving than you for their love and what they're all missing 🤗 so glad the youngest texts.

Sending eternal love and appreciation to you our gorgeous filled with energy and infinite 🤗
🌜💑💜🌲🍫🍮⏰🏺🌛

You're all beautiful caring people here 🌹

Touchwood headache nearly gone with another med and so far shoulder/arm holding. Little ouch last night. Slept well going for more 😚

[Guest8901]

Dear Grandy

Good on you for applying to be a foster carer some years back. Very noble and caring of you, just as I would have expected. I'm sorry nothing came of it, as that must have been very disappointing. The more you say about where you live, the more I am of the personal opinion that you need to find a way of moving elsewhere. Perhaps, like Betty, you can put your place up for sale in the hope that it will sell and you can move somewhere where services are better. I accept it may take some time, but at least you are being proactive in your attempts to do something about improving your situation. If the money you make in the sale does not provide enough to buy another house somewhere you'd like to go, then renting could be a good option. Anyway .. just something to think about perhaps?

Good to hear you are feeling somewhat better as of yesterday. I hope your apppointment with your GP today goes well. I will be thinking of you, as always.

I love jasmine and also the old fashioned ivy. I know a lot of people dont like them because they tend to be quite invasive. But that doesnt bother me. I just like the 'overgrown' look I guess. Your chicken stir fry sounds nutritious, healthy and tasty. Glad to hear you're eating again.

I will leave it at that for now, as I expect you'll be getting ready for your appointment in town. Good that you dont have to work today. Please give little Kya and Ebony a big cuddle from me.

Talk to you later, but please know I'm here for you if you wish to talk any time. I'm home pretty much all day today. Hubby is having fewer medical appointments recently, only 2 or 3 a week, instead of what was often 5 or 6. So there is a little less pressure on both of us.

Holding your hand to remind you that you're cared for and loved. You have support here Grandy. 🤗

Amanda 💕

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi, Amanda and all

I just got back from the Drs, I have to have quite a few ultrasounds and a halter monitor to check my heart it’s been playing up a bit over the past few weeks..plus I have swelling in between my collarbone and neck...hmmmm scarey area for swelling...

Mr dr has come up with a plan for me..She has registered me with headspace it’s a internet/phone anxiety/depression/PTSD course that’s done free by psychiatrists that ring me weekly, set me some homework to do weekly by email...with my progress being sent weekly, with reports going back to my dr..She has also organised some some people to come out next year to do some exposure therapy to get me out of my home, out into the public once a week, these are also trained therapists..This is an option to going into hospital, which I Welcome much more then hospital m but if I don’t improve by the end of the courses I will be going to hospital...I like my dr very much for her consideration of my huge fear of hospitals.....My ear canal is still red and tender and I now have some antibiotic drops to put in 3 x daily.....

I’m comfortable on the lounge but still attempt at times to go to bed, which only results in panic attacks..Geez I never got panic attacks prior to my flashback in bed that early morning... Hmm I have a psychologist appointment on Thursday first one in over 2 months..really I think is doing me more harm then good, but if I don’t go I’m in trouble with my other professionals....

Deebi, I hope you enjoy your day out today with your lovely friend, and one on one? Very good for your soul..I know how special to you she is....

Yes Peppy is such a special friend...dropping off the goodies....yummy

Amanda..I have thought about selling, not enough to repurchase anywhere and I need a job first or they just don’t allow anyone to begin renting now without a job first...

Deebi, I’ll come over soon and check out your post on yours...Love you deeply sweet friend..very much..

Lee..I hope your doing better then ok...

You are all beautiful wonder friends that I love...

Please be kind to yourselves today and do something nice for you..even if it’s just sitting in the sun..or something you like to do...or a special yummy treat..🍫 or 🍓 or 🍦, yummy...

Sending you all some of my love and Hugs..💜💜🤗🤗.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy🦄💜👼..

[Ggrand]

Hello again...

oops I think my head is spaced out or lingering in outer space....😁..I forget things so easily...

Its mindspot that my Dr has registered me for....

Grandy..