Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[Lee lee 73]

Hello Grandy,

Ohhhhh honey, you should probably be in hospital. Those symptoms altogether aren't a good sign - especially with your heart. I know you know this. Please call the ambulance 🙁.

Amanda, thank you for your well wishes and soup. So thoughtful of you lovely. It was yummy .

Please take good care beautiful friend. 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

Lee

[demonblaster]

Hi darlin 🤗

Just peeky boos to see how you're feeling sweet heart.

Mandys also looking after you with Lee and all your friends that care so deeply

Reminding you cause it feels empty and terribly lonely when we're sick living alone that you're not hun

So hoping your symptoms are easing, wondering the migraine because of your high stress but that fever dam with luck its broken.

Please do right by yourself Grandy and seek medical assistance if it perseveres.

No need to reply to this but to know you're ok at some point if you're able could you use our emoji code so we know where you're at if you can. Doesnt have to be today. Rest up honey.

So much love respect and care for you dear lady 🌜pubok 💑💜🌛

Waving back and 🤗 Mandy

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi, Amanda,Lee and all.

Im sorry I cannot go to the hospital..(reasons) also there are no doctors working on the weekends at all in the bigger town..not even hospital has a doctor on duty...I think it’s got something to do with my ear as it’s really sore, maybe an Infection? My next dr appointment is on Tuesday, I should be okay until then.

Betty has her great grandchildren over the weekends so I won’t annoy her, my brother lives over 600kilometres away so won’t bother and worry him either....My kids probably wouldn’t care anyway...so it’s just me here....

I am okay, just sore and dizzy and well I’ve stopped vomiting, and the fever isn’t as high I don’t think, I’m not shivering now.. eating? nah not interested in food, maybe later..Good way to loose weight, 😁 but I really don’t recommend it..

Yes Deebi, it’s horrible being alone at most times but being sick is worse, I have no one here in r/l that really cares 😭..Don’t think I can handle this loneliness anymore...it’s just not because I’m sick, it’s a constant and it’s no way to live. Don’t want to any more.😢. Here on B.B. is good, it keeps me busy when I’m down..Love 💜 you way down in my heart very much...love others here as well...you all mean so much to me..I mean that I really do....Trouble is I need a hug so very much..You’re all way over there and I’m here...Pam and Don used to hug me when they visited me she is not here any more.😢..Betty isn’t a hugger at all, love her but she is not well...She’s talking of moving to her sons after Christmas, over 300 kilometres away...Hard, but I suppose thats how my life is and will be, but it’s not for me...Just saying....but know I’m okay...maybe self pity?

Deebi, and others please don’t worry about me...I really mean that, not just saying..I’m okay.

Sorry I talk to much...

Deebi, 🌜🦄💓👼👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌛..Love you dearest friend...please believe it’s from my heart and I mean it....

Love you all..💜..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy🦄💜👼...

[demonblaster]

Hi lovely/s
Ah Grandy you're really copping it aren't you 🤗 Good to hear fevers easing and vomiting stopped. That's something. Infection could explain the fever. Hun if you can rinse salt water in your ear until you see GP it can help fight infection 2 or 3 times daily.

I know and sympathise how hospitals are for you lovey but please be mindful that your physical health is extremely important too.

Beautiful you saying way down in your heart, ditto hun so much just want you to be ok floss 🤗
I'll trust you saying you will be ok till Tues. You know your body and that some symptoms are easing thank goodness.

When we're sick foods a no go, but I'm concerned you'll get more run down and we know when energys low lifes that much harder. Do you think you could manage something light even just some toast, the carbs will give you longer lasting energy. 🛵 Grilled cheese and tomatoe coming up gorgeous. Again I'm at yours before I've finished the post. Pweeze try honey 🤗

I know Grandy loneliness is cruel and the deep mental pain associated. Here closes the void considerably

Oh Grandy 🤗 are soul food. Wish SO much I could be there for you in rl and fill your emptiness . 😢
Oh no Betty maybe moving. Maybe you might be able to visit eachother. That's sad. I know it hurts and wonder how your going missing Pam and Don. Glad at least you have beautiful memories of them so that loves always in your heart, but it's hard isnt it.
Sweety we don't know what's around the corner, I hope you'll meet more friends. It doesn't have to be fast and look how far you've come leaving the house so there's hope you'll meet more friends.

You mentioned self pity, I was trying to remember what's pulling me through the hards and knew but applyings difficult but realized I've been catching self pity thoughts which definately contribute to pulling us down more. It makes us more aware of our pain and prevents us being proactive and redirecting thoughts. Good you thought of it. That's strength kicking in honey

You/we all of us have hope in that while we're capable of thinking we can get on top.

The longer your posts the better Grandy truth.

Thank you I do believe you now and it makes me feel safe and secure you're an amazing lady. One day you'll see that.

Love you very much 🌜💜💑💓🌛our loved and needed Angel 👼

Love to all our special people here 💗🤗

[Lee lee 73]

Hello gorgeous,

Grandy, your post made me 😢 lovely lady - cry with you. Your words and feelings of loneliness are also mine. I don't want to make this about me but, even though I have my work (my clients ) and a couple of friends, from living/being alone for the majority of my life, it just doesn't cut it anymore. It's no comparison I know, its only a small insight into how you're feeling but I just wanted you to know I get you beautiful. I'm so so sorry lovely lady. I wish I could end your loneliness my dear friend, I truly do. And you've been through so much, you don't deserve to be lonely and sad ❤. It's heartbreaking when there is no one to give you a hug. I wish I could give you one right now - for you beautiful, for you.

Thank goodness you have stopped vomiting Grandy. Sorry hon, you're probably sick of explaining about lack of medical services - I guess I was thinking more along the lines of the fact you would at least be 'under observation '. Fingers and toes crossed you continue to improve.

Thank you for being you Grandy. I mean that with everything. You matter, you're life matters, your friendship matters...to me, to us all here.

I'm sitting with you tonight gorgeous lady, holding your hand and giving you my shoulder to cry on- for as long as you need to....

Sending you so much love and care dear Grandy 🤗🤗😚😚

Love always,

Lee

[Lee lee 73]

Hello lovely Grandy,

How are you feeling today? Let us know, when you feel up to it of course 🤗.

Thinking of you lovely lady 😚

Lee

[Guest8901]

Dear Grandy and hi to Lee and Deebi.

Grandy, though its pleasing to hear that the fever has reduced, its still a concern that you are feeling so unwell. At least Tuesday is not an overly long wait to see your GP. If you are still unable to eat anything at this stage, at least try to maintain lots of fluids. Whether that be liquid soups, sustagen, cups of tea, iced coffee or heaps of cool water. So important to keep up those fluids.

Oh dear, that must be weighing heavily on you Grandy to know that Betty may be moving soon. I'm pleased for her, that she will be nearer her lovely family, but sad for you. She has been a good friend to you I think. Certainly someone you will miss. I so wish you still had the support and hugs from Don and Pam that you so need. Grandy some places have volunteers who spend time with children, like a foster nan situation. I have heard about it on the news and read something somewhere. I'm sorry I cannot recall the name of the program right now. But it sounded like a wonderful idea. So many young families are isolated with work and moving from state to state, they dont always have mums or grandmas nearby for their children. And there are many lonely older people who have so much love to give, but nobody nearby to give that love and care to. Do you think this could be something you'd be interested in doing? Perhaps you could make some enquiries locally. I know in a rural area, there would be limited requirement, but I expect there would still be a need.

I dont think you are wallowing in self pity at all Grandy, you are just feeling very vulnerable right now. Its understandable to be needing a big hug. So I am sending you a big warm all-embracing hug from me to you ... given with understanding, love, comfort and encouragement. And my shoulder to cry on if you need it.

Please take care of yourself Grandy, and know we all care so much for you. How I wish things were different for you, noone deserves a simpler happier life more than you do my sweet.

Love and care, 🤗

Amanda 💕

[demonblaster]

Hey Grandy and everyone ☺ waving and 🤗 Mandy & anyone else needing a virtual hug

This isnt needing a reply beautiful. Just want you to know I love you very much and REALLY hope you're feeling better today precious lady and getting some sleep.

Tuesdays close hun. Sweety these pretty sure the chemist said electrolites are for dehydration, tricky you being so crook to drive and so far away but thinking maybe you could have some on hand if you get crook again like this. Hoping not of course

Yes darlin, never hold back with me I can't think whether here or mine you said if it's ok ya sweety 🤗 to talk about your upcoming hospital time.

You're going to be ok Grandy, you have us and you're stronger now. Didnt want to upset you by making you think more on it but then I'd think its on your mind ⚘It's just I'm not sure if I replied to that.

Hope your gorgeous birdies have been visiting and just had a glow inside remembering you saying they need nappies 😂

Hey Gwandy 🤗😚 Pubok 🌟☄💑🌜💓🌛

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi, Amanda, Lee and all.

I managed a couple of toast today....Deebi, Thank you for salt water in ear, been doing that feeling better...😂 my cicadas sounds like their waterlogged.

Been drinking heaps of water, not feeling sick now, just a headache, normal...ear is tender and still dizzy, so looks like I’m on the mend...yay...Thank you all very much, your posts have been keeping me company more then you’ll ever know.

Mandy.....I applied for foster career three years ago, was accepted until they discovered where I lived....nothing here for children...The other services are none out here, and we have only 4 little children in town....that I’m aware of...Plus with my MH difficulties I doubt whether it’s fair on the little children..💓

Lee.....I’m truely sorry I made you cry, I’understand your loneliness also and it really does drag us down doesn’t it?..Im sorry that your also feeling lonely...Lee..Thank you for being you as well. I’m pleased we have met and are friends.🤗💓.

Deebi..Thank you so very much for saying I can if I need to talk..I will buy some electrolytes on Tuesday after the doctor..I wouldn’t have thought about them, I have heard they are good....Betty is going to be too far away for visits, she rang me today and said she doesn’t want to move with son...she told him she will sell her house first, takes an average of a few years to sell here..if she doesn’t get any worse,..she want to stay here until the house sells....but I’m really worried about her, as much as I’ll miss her I think she should go..She had a fall a few weeks ago and although not hurt, it could have been worse...I love her dearly but I know she is not really safe on her own. Thank you for loving me..You doing that and being here always is keeping me going...I love 💜 you so very much as well.

My neighbour I noticed took the extra 2 feet of the fence yesterday....I thought ahh that looks better... but today she is changing the material before she had just bits and pieces of some type of yucky mesh wire on..Now she’s putting that chicken wire on instead....Still I don’t like it but looks better then before, she hasn’t been in mine to do the chicken coup area.

Im okay..so please don’t worry

Take care everyone reading this because you have to..for you, your friends, your family and us here on BB...We all matter to each other, became friends care about each other and that’s absolutely Gold.

Sending everyone Love and hugs.💜🤗..Deep Deebi.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy🦄💜👼.

[demonblaster]

Hi Grandy and all

So pleased it all seems to be easing a bit. Unless infos changed middle ear is the area to do with our balance. Take things nice and slowly darling as well as getting up outnof chair and best to sit on side of bed before getting up and out in case of dizzies when you're half asleep.

You're so good and pro active admired that in you from first meeting you. Love you ☺⚘pubok 💗

That's a worry with Betty, you're a beautiful friend and vice versa by sounds. Very happy you have her.

Probs not a good idea to approach her but be nice to grow passionfruit or a pretty vine on the chicken wire. Love vines and hanging plants including grand fathers beard. Saw similar other day was dark brown possibly dead growth 😆 but looked nice not that thats a fave colour at all but suited the tree.

🛵 thought I'd skid over to yours honey although I'll take all the 🤗 you need someone there tonight with you. Glad you had some toast, good girl, now something else doesnt have to be much lovey but you need strength and waters the best overall fluid esp when losing fluids.

Might quickly bake you a 🎂 for me (🙄 said that out loud didnt I 😶)

Really do appreciate you and the beautiful people here. We can get this. Time can be in our favor and it usually with our help pulls us out of hards.

Nigh nite Grandy and everyone

🌜💑💓🌱🕊🌛