Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[Ggrand]

Hello Lee,

Nooooo noooo, Please Lee don’t be sorry, or feel bad, you done nothing st all to feel like that about....It’s okay really, noting it here, Often different friends call in and make invite for get together...and my dear friends here, would know it was an open invitation..So sweetheart..Please don’t feel bad at all.....please...Feeling bad is contagious, if one feels bad then another will because you are, then another will because someone does...it’s highly contagious, so please be okay dear Lee...

L&H 💜🤗.

Grandy...

[Lee lee 73]

Hello Grandy,

Thanks for explaining it all to me. I do feel better now.

Returned love and hugs to you beautiful lady.. (hugs hugs hugs hugs hugs )

Lee xx

on laptop - no emojis

[demonblaster]

Hi Grandy and other lovely ones

Sweety I always watch how your going and sorry darlin I haven't been here enough for you. You said you were really ancious about hospital when you go. Darlin you're gaining so much ground in strength and I truly believe you'll be ok honey. I know you have difficulty with people but they're usually lovely and caring and it won't be too long before you get used to them and keep in mind they're wanting to help you. I'll be there with all your amazing friends here 🤝 and if not when you might feel stressed remember to breathe and R-E-L-A-X as often as you think of it. Nice and deep, then do you think if you take your big note pad (not the right words) that you copied poems and strategies etc and think of our fun times for happies. You're up to it sweety I/we know you are.

So are we going to go to the big long beach near the swings again thats a ripper. Maybe we all could have a swing except me cause when I was a teen of all ages with some extra weight I sat on one and the mutt broke..friend nearly wet herself laughing 🤣.. I was SO 😶embarrassed. Yip just another good on me. What a lovely time we'll have.

No darlin now I've gotta remember there was something you thought you upset me, no sweety sorry I'm not noting and will lose post if I find it. Was all in fun just my warped humour you'll get used to me 😁

Thanks hun and the 👒 pweddy with Gween wibbon in it I'll see if I find one on you. Thankyou darlin.

Hope you're ok. You're holding so well. It's a job to but worth it for the sake of peace isn't it. You know darlin I'm learning so much here and from you. We work well together cause we boost eachother in different ways. So happy to know you and appreciate you and so many beautiful people here 💗

Really love you as you know 🌜🤗💑💜🦄🕊🌛

PUbok gorgeous angel 🤗

Hi to everyone too ☺

[demonblaster]

Oop soz meant find one for you. Tired and forgot to proof but that wasnt bad considering 🙃

Sigh we'll get there we have to believe and have faith in ourselves eh guys 🤗

[Peppermintbach]

Hi gorgeous Grandy (and a wave to all),

I’m glad you enjoy your weekends, Grandy. Not having to worry about potential phone calls must be a welcome relief, as you said...

The day out at the beach today sounds fun. I find sand and salt water to be very healing. Beaches are so peaceful. Anyone who lives close to a beach is pretty lucky in my opinion 🙂

Sending you warm hugs and I hope the weather is nice for you beach day!

Love and comfort,

Peppy xoxo

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi, Peppy and everyone,

Please Deebi don’t be sorry for thinking your not here enough, I understand that each of us are struggling with mental health and that at times it can be hard to post..💜..

I was going to be brave, I was going to go when a bed becomes available, but now I’m not so sure...

I read on another thread, where someone is in hospital and she said that they are intimidating her and said it feels like prison... she is very scared and she said it’s a prison, meaning she cannot leave the hospital if she wanted to....and they are forcing her to take ADs..My Psychiatrist wants me to take another Ad but I said no, they will start me on a new one in the hospital...They can do that to me as well, they originally wanted me in there for ect, just what if, they force me to have it, or keep at me until I give in to it, or trick me into signing the papers...they know me and they know that under pressure I will give in and agree to it...just so I can stop any arguments or just for some peace to stop them talking about it.....

They know I live alone and my sons are estranged from me, I have no friends, so I have no one to talk for me. The Drs are accountable to no one but me...and who am I to argue with them.. I mean they are Drs...I am just another person who struggles with her mental health...Just a number, to be filed away...

Sorry I’m so negative but on the other thread Deebi, she confirmed my fears of what I was thinking that they can force me to have any treatment they want me to do, even if I don’t want to....

I didn’t go to darts today..I’m okay so please dont worry....I want to go somewhere, where no one will find me.. but I don’t know where....That way I’m not on edge day after day...

I was bringing the garbage in this morning, when my neighbour yelled out my name, I said good morning, she was so very nice and sweet, Can I go onto your land and fix the fence the same height behind the chicken coups...her chicken coups are attached to my fence and to make the same height fence, she can only do from my land...I said of course you can..Then she said to keep my dogs inside when she’s doing it, was only sweet until I answered...That’s Grandy for you...Yes..yes...yes...

Im okay, just feeling so trapped...and stupid...and so many more things....but that’s me that my life...

Love and hugs...to everyone....💜🤗💜🤗..

Deebi I hope you’re doing okay...Big love going your way...🌜🕊👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌛....

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy 🦄💜👼..I got this..

[demonblaster]

Sweetems I'm going down the Rd then when I return I'll be here.

Huge hugs and love 🌜🍫🌛

💑💜

[startingnew]

HI Mandy

i am indeed still reading, just been offline trying to figure out a few things esp this assignment. so hard.

i have a computer with microsoft windows thingy on it, so if youve got one of those hold the button with the 4 squares on it (looks abit like a window, mines down near the space bar) and press the full stop (.) at the same time and itll bring up all the emojis for you.

hoping this helps you 🦋

Hi little angel 😇

[Guest8901]

Hi there SN. Oh wow .... I have one of those keyboards! And ... it works ......... Yay. Thanks heaps. You have just made my day.

👌 🎁🌹😍👍💖🏆💕

[demonblaster]

Hey darlin/s 💗

Hun I'm trusting/hoping several peoples knowledge here is accurate

To my understanding, correct if I'm wrong anyone because your going in voluntarily you have more freedom of choice as opposed to being in as a result of an attempt so in that situation they have a duty of care and completely understandable in for the poor person to feel frightened and trapped, anyone attempting or wanting to is in the lowest place they can possibly be as we sadly know sweet 🤗

I heard of an option of signing paperwork to clear them of responsibility if and please don't dear Grandy 💑 you choose no meds and subsequently suicide which I feels fair to both parties.
? Lee said regarding ECT about signs on bedhead etc which is an option. I assume there'd be discussion first and as you mentioned paperwork to sign. Grandy you're a very intelligent lady. Read the paperwork lovey and ask questions to what you don't understand, there's bound to be someone you feel comfy with you could talk to them as well as the team who know most of your story and issues you contend with eg anxiety around people etc. I'm hoping and feel confident you'll be treated with the respect and care you deserve.

I think also we need to keep in mind they're trying to help us but certainly wise to be vigilant.

A sad truth is there are many horror stories. It's also common with any situations in life we don't always hear the entire story like the circumstances and reasons not necessarily people lying there could be many reasons including perception which can be common for people suffering under duress.
We also don't always hear enough of the excellent care provided too.

Darling I know you feel frightened and that's ok your human your allowed. Sweet your lifes been abominable to say the least, you continue to suffer terrible anguish and pain. You live in an area where there's minimal MH resources. In my opinion beautiful lady this is a chance to have the life you so desperately and richly deserve. You've become so much stronger in the short amazing time I've known you 💜
If you think and I do strongly believe you can do it without meds stand your ground and explain why also listen to their reasoning. This is your chance and choice for new beginnings 🌱

Love you very much beautiful lady. Be brave honey you deserve this chance and you can do it remember beasty lies 💗 🌜💑💜🤗🌛

bbl lovey about neighbour ☺