Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[Guest8901]

Dear Grandy,

A quick post to wish you well for your MHN consultation, job provider check in and volunteer work day today. I hope everything goes as well as possible for you today and your busy day causes the least amount of stress as possible. You have all of us here to help you through, if needed. Remember your breathing and your grounding exercises, stay calm and in control of your body and your mind. Dont forget that you are that mosaic that we spoke about - you are strong, you are resilient, you are beautiful. You may consist of a myriad of small broken pieces, but they have been put back together again to create a literal work of art which brings joy to others, and contributes to your own inner strength. Love and care coming your way my dear lady.

Amanda 💜🤗

[Lee lee 73]

Hello lovely Grandy,

How are you today beautiful?

As Amanda said, I hope your Tuesday went ok!

Thank you so so much for explaining what a mixed epidode is like. Omgoodness Grandy . It must be so mentally exhausting. ..to say the least. I don't know what to say.? I feel so silly assuming what I thought 🙁. But now I know, so thank you so much and thanks for taking the time to explain Grandy I truly appreciate it. - and a great explanation too. I hope it wasn't upsetting for you doing so. You have so much awareness into your mental health Grandy. I know it's because you do so much research. It's a credit to you. I can't even begin to imagine what it's like.....I'm so so sorry from the bottom of my heart that you and others go through this....😓😓.

Someone in charge of mental health research needs to get cracking and get a move on with things 😬.

I'm a hugger too Grandy. These are for you 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗 from me. ❤😍. I'm glad to hear your y brother hugged you more, once he realised it was what you needed. He obviously wanted the same from you. 😊

I'm going ok thanks Grandy. All thanks to you. ...and Demonblaster and Amanda and everyone else. Thank you for accepting me lovely ladies 😙🤗 .

Grandy, I do hope your day was ok lovely lady. ❤😙. Hoping you got some 🍫 and 🍓when out today.

Thinking of you Grandy

Lee 😙❤🤗🤗❤

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi, Amanda, Lee, Peppy,and all,

Thank you all for you lovely, caring posts..

Amanda....My job provided wasn’t in I’m thankful for that because I was to find out how many days a week I’m tI do since the new laws came in for October...My mhn wasn’t available either she was in a meeting and couldn’t get out of it, my psychiatrist visit was postponed today until the 18th he can’t get away from Sydney until then,...I seen another mhn this morning but I couldnt talk to her, my i was told my mhn will ring me this week....and my day at work was okay I guess, I swapped again so I could be out back. L&H..💚🤗..

Lee, Yes mixed episodes are so very emotionally draining and I really don’t like them at all..Tgats about the only way I can explain what I go through but everyone is different...My headache disappeared through the day and I’m my usual meh, which is my normal...I hope you are doing okay lovely, never can have too many hugs...L&H 💚🤗.. We are all one big caring family and Lee your a part of this beautiful family also...

Peppy...I agree that children’s lives are mounded by their parents to last a life time, and changing that is so difficult but I’m trying really hard to day that..No you didn’t upset me at all, I hope you are right I want nothing more to win this battle between Beasty and me...L&H..💚🤗..

Deebi...Thank you for understanding about me, I knew you would and did..compliments Umm, at times I can accept and take to heart and start to believe...but other times when I’m really not doing so good, they make me feel guilt because I’m so done on me...It’s hard to explain..Deebi, my trust is in you sweetheart always.....No Deebi thank the universe so much I don’t think I’m going into mixed, my headache is gone and I’m stable....Maybe one day you’ll tell me your secret potion, I’m patient for now and will wait.😁....Oh by the way Deebi, that was the best chocolate ever😂...it had some strawberry cream inside of it....Love you dearest Deebi...L&H 💜🤗..

I hope everyone sleeps good tonight and tomorrow will be good....

Big huggly huggle hugs 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗...

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy🦄👼...🕊🕊🕊🕊.

[Lee lee 73]

Hello lovely Grandy,

How are you today my beautiful friend? I have just gotten home from work. Been thinking of you today hoping you are ok 😚?

Let me know what you're thinking and how you're feeling. ..only when you feel up to it though ❤.

Thinking of you dear Grandy

❤

Lee 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

[Ggrand]

Hello lovely Lee,

Thank you for calling in for a visit it means a lot..

I’m fine thanks Lee, still got this headache, it goes with the meds but returns after the meds time out...I slept a few hours today, I’ve got no motivation to do anything.

My thoughts have been on a dear sweet friend that’s not doing good at all and my poor dogs staying inside with me, I need to force me outside on the veranda again, also mumjoe and baby who I haven’t seen now for a few days, I’m a bit concerned for them, because the property owner were her over the long week end and I heard some bangs....

Right now I’m sitting on the lounge and looking out across at the greening paddock accross the road from me, talking to you, my another dear friend of mine....and thanking you in my heart for this bit of distraction....

Daylight saving starts next week end, I’m not a fan because it means longer days to get through although I know most people enjoy the extra hour...

How are you feeling today lovely? I hope your working day wasn’t too hard and I hope you had some nice chats with your lovely clients ..oh and if they have 🐶 or 🐱 lots of kisses from them....

You’re in my heart dear Lee as all my friends are...I hope tonight is a good night for you, I’m thinking I might put dinotopia or Beethoven on tonight to watch. Or I bought from work a small French knitting thingy, maybe I’ll start French knitting a looooooong strip and see how much I can do nightly maybe then I can stitch it into a circle and make a nice little blanket for the bottom of my two doggie beds I have for my little fur buddies...

My mhn will probably call out on Friday before she visits the person in the next town, she usually does after I have a huge downer, so I will have to try and clean up a little before then...

Love and hugs dear Lee...💚🤗..

Grandy....🕊🕊..

[Guest8901]

Dear Grandy ❤

Thanks for your update yesterday and apologies for my lack of response until now.

So it sounds as though, what was to be a very eventful and busy day yesterday, ended up being just your typical Tuesday.

I hope your MHN has been in touch with you again, or if not, then soon.

Thats unfortunate your psychiatrist from Sydney has postponed your appointment by a couple of weeks. If you are like me, you would have been preparing yourself for this appointment for weeks in advance. At least your work was okay.

We need to get Deebi's secret for that special potion of hers which helped clear your headache and stabilise your mood. She's a clever one, that Deebi! I think we could all use some of that potion.

So Grandy how has your Wednesday been? You seem to have been quiet. But I realise you have been concerned about our Deebi. Me too.

Hello to Magic, Lee, Deebi and Pepper.

Amanda 💕

[Ggrand]

Hello Dearest Amanda,

Thank you Amanda for calling in and always being here for me.....Im really sorry I haven’t been to yours in a few days...I will tonight I just want to say hello and find out how your doing...

Youre right yes I have a huge concern for our dear sweet friend Deebi.as I know you and others do have well.....she means the world to me and I know how deep a BP downer can get and I’m thinking that she is in one..

My Psychiatrist unfortunately just can’t leave Sydney for a couple of weeks, but my mhn will call in on Friday....I’m a little uncomfortable with my psychiatrist because he is a male and he got upset with me two visits back about my meds I heard it in his voice which has caused me to be a little apprehensive of seeing him now, but I will because I need to....he knows I am a little scared of him...he asked me last week.....stilly headache still hurts without meds, it will pass sooner or later, hoping for sooner though..

Since I started these new meds around 5 weeks ago I have a constant ringing in my ears which is extremely annoying and beginning to really be a problem...im wondering if this has happened to others here and if so does the ringing go away....it’s bugging me so much...Hard to sleep with the constant noise...

I hope everyone has a good nights sleep tonight, and have dreams that wake you with happiness and light in your day...

love and hugs...💚🤗..

Grandy....

[Lee lee 73]

Hello Grandy,

So sorry to hear you still have headaches...do you have any lavender to put on your pillow tonight?

We just have to keep concentrating on sending positive and caring thoughts to Demonblaster. You both have a beautiful friendship 👭. I can understand your hurting for her also.

Demonblaster, it is your turn to hold on to all your friends here - sending you my love and care ❤😚.

That's a worry that mumjoe and baby have not been around ..I do hope it's not a result of the bangs. The poor sweeties.

Grandy, I had to Google french knitting 🙊. As soon as I saw pics of the stitching I knew it though. Good on you for buying it knit. A good idea to knit a blanket for your doggies. 🐶🐶. You strength is admirable Grandy, it truly is. I'm learning so much from you.

My day at work was pretty good thanks beautiful.

I hope you're night has been ok. You are always in my heart and thoughts my dear friend.

Please take care of you, so that you can continue to be there for Deebi ❤👭😚.

....same goes to you too Amanda 🖑.

love ❤ hugs 🤗🤗 to you Grandy Amanda and Deebi

Goodnight Grandy. ..wishing you a good nights sleep. ❤❤.

Lee 🤗😚

[Peppermintbach]

Hi gorgeous Grandy (waves to all),

Forever the caring and thoughtful person that you are. Always thinking of others...I love that about you...

I feel sad that your dear friend isn’t doing so well. S/he must be on your mind a lot...

Hopefully mum and joey are both okay...it is worrying though...

As for your precious fur babies, as much as I know that they need their exercise, I know they love being around you. So perhaps, in their doggie eyes, being inside a fair bit with their dear Grandy isn’t entirely a bad thing...they get to be close to you...get to stay by your side.

I think putting on some movies and knitting sound like great ways to keep yourself preoccupied, and maybe even bring you some much needed relief and pleasure...

All the best with the MH nurse tomorrow...

Love, comfort and affection...

Peppy xoxo

P.S. Hello to you too, dear Mandy 🙂

[Ggrand]

Hello Dearest Amanda, Peppy,

I hope you are all doing okay, and thank you both for your kind posts,

Amanda I did post to you yesterday not long after yours came through but it isn’t here. No email, so must have gotten lost in internet world..I don’t remember what I said....

Amanda.....Thank you for your lovely post, Yes I do pre pare myself for the visits to both my mhn and psychiatrist...My mhn is coming here to visit me on Friday, I really need to tidy up here before she comes, but it’s so hard to do that, I used to clean my house daily before, but now I think.....what for, who for and why.....it’s just me here......yes I do prepare myself for my psychiatrist visit. He is unable to leave Sydney until the 17th, I’ll see him on the 18th....

Yes I am concerned about Deebi, as we all are. I hope she’s feeling better this morning...If your reading Deebi,....Love you very much....🦄👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👼...

Peppy....you’re words are very comforting thank you very much.....Oh Peppy they love being inside, they are constantly with me, when I sit on my lounge they sit each side of me and put their heads on my knees one each side, nudging my hands for pats they get heap more inside, but I like them to enjoy the sunshine and playtime...

The movies and/or knitting got put on hold...I have no concentration to do either last night, my mind was to chatty...I get visions of doing thinnngs, seeing the end product, but cannot motivate myself to even start them, My minds busy chattering away at itself..I need to calm that first...

I hope everyone’s has a good day today..and it’s better then yesterday...be gentle on yourselves....it’s raining here a little...

Love and hugs..💚🤗..

Grandy..