Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[startingnew]

Im always here GG, my wings dont need to be mended to be here for you. I want to be here for you.I would rather be floating around anyway rather than in hiding atm ❤❤

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi, Peppy, Starts. and everyone..

Thank you so very much for your big hug, it felt nice and Deebi taught you well..

Your so right Peppy, I don't know what to do..I used to do croteching,knitting,embroidery, long stitch,sewing..I never loved doing them. While I done these "hobbies " I was making things for in laws or friends, or our house, the reason I done them was i was "ordered" to, so I did, plus it was a few hours of hubby not annoying me..

Now I can't do them..I started to crotchet a blanket for my daughter in laws sisters new baby...so I would fit in at darts, but I was hiding to much the need to release...I really don't know what to do to keep busy anymore, I'm spending more and more time laying around on my lounge..and I know this is not good, but I have zero motivation to try or even think of anything new...

Ahh yes Deebi's chocolate 🍫 bars.. lol I need to put some in the chocolate bank. for campfire Night...The other goodies thank you very much..your selection is second to none....

Starts,....Its so good to see you, I agree Little Butterfly, it's no good hiding away..Talking to others here is a huge help to lift our spirits up...spread your little wings and just float until your able to fly again..we're all here to help you...

Love and care with comfy hugs..🤗🤗.

Love you Deebi,.🌹💜.. I hope your outs were good today😁I have an out tomorrow, I'm not looking forward to..oh good cause and I fully support the cause. but just so hard to go (reasons)..and so hard not to go...Biggest Morning tea..

.💜&🤗..always...

Grandy..

[Speak Your Truth]

Hiya grandy

I just posted some ideas about things you might like to do on the “Loneliness ... What Choices Are There” thread. I hope they are at least new ideas to you that might inspire you.

Its been raining most of the day here and I’ve been stuck inside all day, but tomorrow is my day for going to the school and I’ll be so glad to get out of the house

I do hope you go to the Biggest Morning Tea tomorrow and are able to enjoy it. Have a cuppa for me too - I’ll be at school.

bye for now Grandy, ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Grandy (and a wave to all),

A huge hug from me...you are sounding as though you’re feeling down and lacklustre. I get what you mean by how it’s hard to find the drive and motivation...

I feel you have had so much taken from you by your husband. He took your sense of “self”/identity and controlled your life. No wonder you’re struggling to figure out what to do with your time...I feel for you, our lovely friend.

I was thinking maybe think back to a time before you met your husband. Was there anything you enjoyed doing before you met him? If there was something you can recall genuinely enjoying, maybe you could try to do it again...

I hope your Biggest Morning Tea goes well. Lots of goodies there!

I suppose I’ll pack your picnic basket for the evening as you’re all sorted for the morning...maybe a night under the stars. I was thinking pumpkin pie, waffles, chips, veggie sticks with peanut butter and dip, paninis, chocolate cupcakes, fairy bread, cinnamon scrolls and thermos of tea/coffee/chai latte.

love and care,

Pepper xoxo

[Ggrand]

Hello Pepper,

Motivation i think would come if I found something I'm passionate about, Thinking back to my childhood..I was woken at 5am school mornings, then I tried to keep safe from my eldest brother,( sometimes ok, other times nope). went to school, came home, had to make mine and two brothers bed, sweep the house, dust, wash up and prepare dinner for the night.. mum and dad came home at 6.30pm..I dished up dinner, then washed up then was in bed by 7.30pm...Then Saturday was again kitchen bathroom laundry thorough clean up, Sunday washing and ironing, then back to school..no time for hobbies...😢 Oops emotional....

I'm lost in what to do, I really am, and most things cost money, which I don't really have any to spare...any way...

I went to put my cake into the donation box when the lady who's son caught my crying when I was walking a couple of months ago was their and grabbed my arm and took me inside...I felt so uncomfortable, she should not have done that..I stayed for around an hour, not many people turned up..only around 20, then a I noticed a few went home so I then left...My cake went quickly, I used to make cakes for the shop and always sold them within a couple of hours.....

Cala . I looked at that thread and want to thank you for your time and suggestions..I will reply their later tonight. I'm really tired and sore atm..

My bursitis is really painful and self care last night, trying to walk so I didn't hurt it more, saw me twist my other ankle and fall...Im okay, the twisted ankle is like I never twisted it at all..😁.. Silly me 🙃 🤓...My dogs didn't know what happened they though I was playing with them, I was down on their level sitting on the floor where I fell....I got so many kisses of them, that I stayed there for a while and played with them for around 5 minutes, then got up and had to have a hot wheat pack put onto my hip...today it's not to bad..

I hope you all have a good afternoon, and it's not to cold where you are...take care and be gentle with yourselves..love and care....xxx🤗🤗🌹 hugs .

Deebi love you..hope your doing okay..🌹🦄🤗🤗..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌹Grandy...

[Tess2]

Dear Grandy,

this sounds like an unfortunate series of events for you. Pain does not make it easy to deal with anything else and will make you feel more down. You need some heavy duty anti inflammatories or an injection for that bursitis .. you need to sleep well and if you are in pain that won’t happen.

your childhood sounds like drudgery. So you need to give yourself now the caring you didn’t get then. Remember that is over now. Try not to dwell on it.

While you might not have much money, neither do I, You have your home and rural surroundings. I know you miss your family. Is there one of your sons you could stay with for a couple of days? A change of scene can do good.

Take care of yourself. I hope it is sunny for you

tess

[Speak Your Truth]

Oh Grandy, poor you, I’m so sorry 😢 you had a fall. You have enough to deal with already, so you definitely don’t need more ☹️ It’s lovely that your doggies smothered you with kisses but it wasn’t the best way to get them sadly. I hope you are resting your ankle so it can better quickly.

It was so good of you to bake a cake for the Biggest Morning Tea Grandy, and it was gobbled up quickly 😄 - it must have been 😋 yummy. I’m sure the lady who took your arm to take you inside meant well Grandy. Maybe she shouldn’t have done it but she probably thought she was being friendly and kind. Did you talk with her at all ?

I typed the post on the Loneliness... thread late last night and wasn’t thinking properly, so I know now that renovating a piece of furniture or painting a wall probably isn’t going to be on your to-do list. I have read before that you have bursitis, but I had forgotten - sorry Grandy.

Also the Chromecast gadget is about $58 so it may not be on the list either. Sorry again. But if you can buy it, it does give you more options for watching tv. Just thinking .... maybe you’ve already got one 😉

Is there any chance you could have a go at knitting or sewing etc. again - you could knit or sew things for the op shop. Knitted or crocheted things like blankets and hats and scarves are really so important for people in cold weather - you would be helping people that way too.

Grandy I know you are in such a difficult situation and I wish there was more I could do or suggest. Have you spoken with any of your sons recently ?

You are often in my thoughts Grandy even if I don’t post. 🧡💛💚💙💜❤️

[Ggrand]

Hello Tess, Cala,.

I don't like taking much meditation, but will use it if the pain gets to much. I had the injection once, lasted only a month and a bit, wasn't worth the pain of the the actual injection..I can usually settle the pain..with the heat packs..

Cala, The ankle I twisted is fine, There is very little pain at all in it..I'm very lucky..., I like baking cakes but no one to bake for now...Not allowed to bake and donate to the school anymore..The lady that took my arm, I had a meltdown in front of her when I used to walk around my block, she knows I'm struggling with mental health but not the causes..Maybe she was trying to be nice but I didn't want to go, I was sore and tired, but it's passed now, I stayed a reasonable amount of time..

Cala about 18months ago I painted the outside of this house, then the inside..I done it all on my own..I have still got one room inside to pain, but for the past 18 months I look at it and sigh..it's my bedroom, I just cannot do that last room. It's such a hard job, up and down ladders moving furniture, it's too hard now to do...

My youngest son msg every so often, my middle, a little, msg but theirs reason their...My eldest, I don't hear from and it really hurts..

Im okay Cala, Please don't worry, Thank you for thinking of me..That is really sweet, and means a lot to me ...Thank you everyone, your all so kind, and very much appreciated..💜🌹..

Grandy...

[demonblaster]

Hey good people 😊🌹

Hey beautiful friend, talking about friends I'm pretty confident I'm going to win friend of the year 🏆🏅because 😂 oh struth gag 😷 me now, I need to breath 🤣 ..huh hymm.. I say nurse 👼Deebi..could you be your kind compassionate self and 😆 help Grandy love up. She has a unique way of getting down to play with her fur buddies. Oh Grandy you get me everytime, I've said before I really was a very good nurse bwah haa haaa it's your commentary 🤣😂😄😆😅 ...hymm clears tears and so how's the ankle love 😁. If I had false teeth they would have been a gonna. Wow lucky you didn't hurt it. Wouldn't have done the bursitis any favors 😔 Poor thing I've heard that's very painful. Hun what about the matress on the floor till you're ready tho be tricky getting it back up. Very sorry for your pain darling..honestly 🤗 pwoomise 🙄

What a shame just as I posted a biggy to you last night the site had a maintenance and sure enough it's in cyberspace, maybe we could launch 🐉 or a 🚀and find it. Bummed cause was talking about the cuppa which I've caught up and will get back to you on it.

Sweets I feel Ms Arm sounds like a really lovely caring lady who potentially and her lovely sounding son could be very good support and for friendship too and company. Maybe you could bake a 🎂 and visit them. I'd suggest explain the anxiety so they have an understanding but whatever you're comfy with.

Sweets I posted at mine then saw yours. You're in my thoughts so often with love lady ☺ Thank you for being so kind and caring Floss 🤗

Huns I'm trying a bit of self care so choofing now but I'll beeee baccck...💪

Boomer you got the rain 😆 your cloud shower did the job and I reckon the weather mob are psychic 🔮 they predicted day before for 🌨

L = Laughter 😂🤣😄😆😅😁

O = Over the 🌜to have met you

V = Very good times 👌

E = Excellent friendship 💑

🦄

Y = You're a beautiful person 💜

O = Outstanding care 👼

U = U make me very happy 😀

💑💜👀👃oops I mean 👂🏻

Speak your truth, Heya ☺ excellent post in loneliness thread. You too Tess hi darl ☺ your posts are also very caring.Grandy you're a magnet for lovely people. Speaks volumes about you lovey 😚 Peppy and everyone else yous are just magic too 🤗

[Peppermintbach]

Hi lovely Grandy and all,

Oh Grandy, I feel you have spent a lifetime living for others...even before you met your husband, it’s obvious your life was not your own because other people dictated your life. I’m so sorry, wonderful Grandy...you’re a beautiful person and so much had been taken from you...

I think it’s okay to take your time to figure out what you truly like. There’s no rush to figure it out...I get what you’re saying about how money issues can create some limitations. It’s awful when that happens...

I hope you don’t mind me saying this but I noticed you said that you enjoy baking cakes but feel there isn’t anyone to bake for. I was thinking could you maybe do some more baking?

Even if it’s baking just for you; some cakes can last a while if you put it in the freezer. Then maybe you can defrost a piece each morning so you’ll have one piece to eat each afternoon...just a gentle idea. You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to of course but I thought that I would just suggest it anyway...

The Bursitis sounds very painful and unpleasant. The fall must have been unsettling. I love your fur babies’ innocence and how they thought you were playing. They sound so energetic and loving...

Also an enormous thank you for the beautiful hamper you left me yesterday. So many treats! Delicious 🙂 Also I appreciate the 367 choccie bars although I’m sure it will go quickly as I know DB will probably offer to “help me” eat them. Lol.

I’m going to leave you a morning treat for you picnic basket: cinnamon scrolls, blueberry pancakes, assorted sandwiches, croissants, fruit salad, lemon meringues, vanilla cupcakes, scones and thermos of tea/chai/coffee. Enjoy 🙂

Love and care,

Peppy xoxo