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Hi Ggrand and welcome to the BB forums. We are a great supportive bunch here and offer no judgment, anonymous advice and support.
It sounds like you are really struggling with depression at the moment especially with the anniversary of your husbands death. It sounds like you are struggling with loneliness as well as depression. Unforntunely these can go hand in hand as depression makes you not want to go out (sometimes because wearing a mask is too tiring) and this causes you to be isolated. Kind of a vicious cycle. Depression also makes bed your best friend. It is a sad truth. I always know if my mental health is taking a dark turn if I am treating bed as my best friend again.
I was wondering if you are seeing a therapists? If not I suggest you book a long appointment with your local GP and discussing your depression concerns and how you are feeling. I know this is a daunting first step, however it will be worth it. I wish I had taken this step sooner. I got refered to a great therapist, and I was able to get the help and support I needed. I was able to go out and not wear a mask anymore. It took time but I eventually got there.
I want you to know you are not alone. Many of us in the forums have these feelings. Feel free to pop around the forums and interact with us. We are a great bunch of people trying to support each other.
Please keep me posted.
I'm sorry to hear what you are currently enduring but not sorry to see you take a progressive first step and reach out when you feel the way you are feeling.
Do you mind If I ask how long this cycle has been going on for? I suffered major depression for over 10 years and can relate to that feeling of self containment and endless tears. Despite you feeling the way you are feeling there is no doubt a lot of courage and strength within you. I know this for a fact as you mentioned having children (and grandchildren which is great!) and I have always had a profound respect for mothers and everything that they endure.
Would love to hear back from you and talk more if you're comfortable to and thanks again for having the courage to reach out.
You're very welcome and thanks for responding. Glad to hear that you've reached out to someone and seeking assistance. As for the next appointment being end of September, perhaps the online forums here might be a good online and safe platform for you to reach out and talk more if you feel comfortable to do so.
I'd be lying if I said that I've never been in the ' no sense of purpose' headspace. However, I was recently in that headspace and I'm inclined to think most people experience at some point. You mentioned the cycle being a year now. Do you mind if I ask a little bit more about you? What are some of your hobbies, passions, have you travelled, what are some of your aspirations prior to the cycle starting? Condolences for the anniversary of your husband passing too.
Look forward to hearing from you 🙂
Hope you don’t mind a new visitor popping by to say “hello”.
You mentioned that you have an appointment to see your GP, but that’s not til later in September?? Is there no way you could get that moved forward? It just seems to me, to be very important that you could get along to see a professional about how you are feeling at this current time.
Going to see a psych who you’ve seen before who didn’t help, is something that you should avoid. Sometimes you see a psych and you hit it off, and other times, there’s no connection at all and with the ones that you don’t get a good feeling about, then it’s ok to move on and try a new one.
I just wanted to let you know that there’s another listener here for you. Even on this site, there's places you can go to just read and enjoy ... like the one with the Social Pages. Lots of different things happening in there, to read, or even join in, if you wished.
Hello Neil1. I live in a small town with the nearest hospital over 70klms away.. Drs are very scarce out here and appointments hard to get..We have a visiting psycologist 3 days per week..so the one I seen a few times that made me worse is the only one that comes to town..The phyciatrist comes to town for assessment purposes only I think.. she done the assessment for me and forwarding on to my Dr who will also be a new Dr to me, at the end of September..Drs only stay 6 months here then move on so cannot get or have a good relationship with a Dr. I can't go out as I just can't seem to make myself do so..I am at a loss as what I'm supposed to do and have no choice but to wait...I have no one in town to talk to as they have also moved on as my refusals to go out finally got to them..I see and speak to no one for 6 days a week every week.. I feel alone and scared of each new day as my thoughts run away to where I don't want them to....