Would really appreciate peoples thoughts on a housing situation !

[randomxx]

Hi to all.

lt's an unbelievable time in life to find myself stuck in this position, just don't know how to look at it, or what to do about with it, if l can anything at all. 

Problem is, at almost 60, yeah l've mixed up details in other threads just a bit concerned some l know may also be here and haven't wanted any connection here that l might know, butttt, yep.

Thing is l didn't get anything out of my last house, the people l went into the property with as it was a big place, went broke.

Well , sort of lucky although maybe a curse , not sure anymore but l do still have a 1ac country property, 18yrs now, from back when l was married.

l can't work anymore for mh reasons but if l took care l can survive until l can get the pension- living at the 1ac place- it only has a small over nighter atm but l could extend and it'd come up quite nice .

Problem is, it's in a ting town, 30mins to the main town which is a really nice place and there's also a couple of tiny ones in between before that main buttttt, out where this place is, is tiny and out on it's own .

l always planned selling it about now but problems are now that for 1, even if it did sell, it's just a cheap little country block it'd only be a good deposit on something closer in- but circumstances now that'd mean a new mortgage and l'd have to keep working too, don't think l could stomach either of those especially the stress in trying to make it happen.

2nd thing highly possible it doesn't even sell anyway.

l know l'm lucky to at least have it and all , with the housing crisis and so many in worser positions , l just never dreamed l'd be living on it though and honestly, just don't know but it looks like l might be forced to.

l grew up in the city and have lived in some of the nicest places in the country but to have to settle on this place out there now- look the property itself is a really cute block and in a nice little back street- if l could put it on a truck to somewhere else it'd be really nice - but this town.

rx

[randomxx]

How beautiful er, l know he would've come to comfort you.

But yeah the spirit world is all such a huge part of their culture and it's the same with tribes all over the world, as we've said.

l actually grabbed my binoculars one evening bc l'd swear he was really there. There was a lot of bush along that part and a beautiful huge old red gum right beside him. Well, you know what, even through the binoculars l could still see him beside the beautiful old gum. l thought he might leave when he saw me grab them but he didn't , he was hazier though so l think he became a bit wary but still definitely distinctive.

But anyway yeah, very sad times through all that but l don't dwell on it or even go into any of this sort of thing much at all tbh, just find it all just too upsetting so l'll leave it all there.

ps, you'd love this wagon , it's purple with flowers, they have 2 actually l forgot.But yeah there are a few from far and wide, old mate was telling me. Lot of blocks on the market to this yr so hoping we get an influx given the tragic of our housing everywhere else.

[randomxx]

Just on your town er, once again l didn't mean to discourage you btw with my old town stuff. l mean who knows who's really around in any town yaknow. There's always other people tucked away too, you've met those few, could be anyone, in any town.

There was still outsiders too in my old town l'd see a few about and there would be yours so nothing's n stone . Myself, no luck over there but even there there were a lot of new people turning up to of late so who knows.

But alas, yeppa, my dilemma here and thx for that. l have lightly put myself in the actual building/staying/committing mode mentally trying to get a read,still a bit soon though really, still get a 50 50, the guts confused, poor thing.

l dare say though some more time and it will do it's magic- l hope. Only been a few mths really l spose, still testing.

lf still nowhere later my go away a few wks, give things a break.

Look after er

rx

[Eagle Ray]

Hi rx, yes those spirit-type experiences, they can be reassuring somehow. I take them as they come now as I've had similar things happen a few times.

The wagon sounds great, like it brightens things up somehow. I like when I see an original house, like different from all the uniform houses. Maybe the owner has painted it a really different colour that you don't normally see. You'll get those people who complain about it and want everything to look the same, but it really livens things up and makes the world interesting to see something different.

With my town, I'm starting to realise I may have to be here for a while. But I think I will definitely need to find ways to take breaks from it too. In the current housing situation, which seems to get tighter by the week, I'm not sure it's sensible for me to try to sell and leave when everything is so uncertain and difficult out there. It would be such a massive effort to move to Melbourne, or so it feels at present, while Perth prices actually seem to be worse and less availability.

So, anyway, thinking of your situation, going into the building/staying/committing may make sense, because it's still not necessarily a forever thing. It's a further investment on that land and there is still an option of selling later. It's just things are so uncertain right now aren't they. But, yes, taking off for a break in a few weeks if still feeling stuck might be helpful. I think it can maybe shift that feeling of going round in circles anyway.

I have lots to do here anyway such as slowly working through maintenance issues, trying to get the garden in order and sort through stuff. And I'm managing complex m/h stuff at the same time which is taking so much energy. So I'm realising I just have to be gentle with myself each day. Doing otherwise has never worked and I'm aware that things become more possible by slowing down and just gradually taking each day at a time, rather than trying to physically do everything and mentally solve everything. I think too, sometimes it's when we slow down more that maybe we meet others and we are just more relaxed and open somehow. I'm trying to think more like a snail - haha! 🐌

Anyway, take care and I hope it's a good day today,

er

[randomxx]

Thx er , was a good day actually hope for u too.

Bit of a lightbulb moment though tbh.  Went over to my old towns today, not my exact town the one 20k down from it. l use to use both plus up to the main all the time to.

But man, was so nice to be around shops and people again, they're both still small around 3-4000 ea but huge compared to this one, real wake up call, well, atm anyway.  This wk ha ha.

Same as you worried though if l do sell l might not even be able to find anything either, it's mad atm , just mad. As mum use to say one in the hand is at least better than none in the bush. 

Felt really disappointing coming home later to just the nothing in this one. l don't bloody know, l'm so up and down, atm though l feel like pushing a sale to hell with it and hoping for the best later. l can't afford to be stupid about this though so yeah, meantime l'll do some better browsing get a better idea of where l stand.Gone right off the new block we went out to last wkend. lt's closer to the main yeah but the tiny town is even smaller than this one.

But yep  that's the go er , no hurry for you atm just move at your own pace when you can that works for ya. l haven't done a damn thing here myself, not to the property at all anyway, have done that job and other stuff but haven't touched the place. l know your going through things but even l'm finding very very steady as she goes right now too is all l can handle right now. Anything at all is a real push tbh and so l'm moving about the same pace, if at all. 

Indecision, limbo, worry, throw in some depression, its all messing me up. Property wise though to l mean it's up for sale anyway so and as is and priced according, so even touching it anyway atm is just labour and money l won't get back anyway so. l spose l could be doing things to snaz it up but l feel the price is already too cheap as is so l don't wanna do more.

Anywayyyy, no pressure er hey, if you have to be there awhile then the cards probably fall where they may for a reason, maybe it's a good thing. Agree with you on Melb, that is one helluva move atm but man you did so well getting over there and sussing things out.

Me, may even take off for a bit l'm thinking, clear the head and get away. Won't matter selling wise they can still come check it out. Had three chick customers so far this last week, different animal altogether to deal with than the blokes, was the same back at work to, no offence but they're bloody exhausting.

Have a nice night

rx

[randomxx]

Mind you, only an idiot would complain bc l've actually met a few like mind women while trying to sell. One was nagging me silly to come all the way down from the Murray mind you, 1 she wouldn't have bought it anyway it was nothing like what she wanted but 2, she started to get really weird. We wound up talking for a few wks and as they say, if your seeing huge flags believe them.

At any rate , just come in from outside damn, l'll say one thing, soooo nice out side here of an evening, the block looks so nice and the surrounds to.

But it's weird to with a bit of time after going over today. Those towns are still small bc you tend to use them more than the main and as you know after awhile something even that size can get pretty tight.

Where as from here, you tend to use the main more and not only is it 20times bigger and nicer but you come in from a different side and that's all much nicer to.

Weird isn't it, pros and cons left and right.

rx

[randomxx]

lt's hitting home and l pretty well knew anyway but it's just being confirmed constantly l guess you'd say butttt, my main problem is just the loneliness here.

l just worry so much that it'll be a ticket to misery .

Such a damn shame given l own it and it's so cheap, l'd be set for life , so pretty , the perfect spot really and l've loved a private home all my life but here, that's actually biting me back here and turning out to be the biggest curse.

As l say, there's streets, houses and the township just 50mtrs, 100 or so, just over , a bloody pub just round the corner- only thing in the town butttt, anything else  is through trees and across. l'm actually in the nicest part of town really but pretty well tucked away don't see anyone, well l do see them across through trees but that's about it.

Sometimes you come home , like tonight from up at my main and the aloneness is almost instant.

Don't see any way out of it unless l met someone but cert couldn't rely on that and ofc l'd want that to be the right person to and for the right reasons and with the right feelings.

Only other idea l've had is to rent out the other side for someone a bt stuck that had their own van, nice little treed section down the bottom and across would make a beautiful spot to set up. Kinda a share situation l suppose.

rx

rx

[Eagle Ray]

Hi rx,

I really hear you about the loneliness. The main disadvantage of my town by far is the loneliness and isolation. If I had managed to find a sense of community here it would be different, but it's the wrong fit for me. Do you find you can get some support just through talking to maybe some of your relatives and just keeping in touch with others as often as you can? I am finding that keeping up the people contact is necessary. It's not like I need it all the time, as I am actually someone who likes my own space and I have always needed time to myself, but not at the expense of human contact most of the time which is what my life is like now. Yesterday I spoke to my psychologist in a session with her and it was just such a relief to talk to another person. And the other week my cousin rang and we had a great chat and that helped so much. I find it is the long in between times where I am just struggling to make my life go forward that are so difficult. If there were people around me like a family or a partner, it would just be such a different experience and easier to live life in a way. I can only imagine you probably feel similar to that. 

Anyway, remember to reach out and chat with people whenever you feel the need. I have called helplines when I start feeling that strong need for human connection and the isolation is really getting to me. But I also find getting absorbed in a project can help, such as working on something photography-related. If my mental and physical health were better, I would be getting out more to other towns and doing more, but I'm often just getting through the daily basics and have nothing left after that.

The share situation you mention could work well if you have someone there you like. You would have to interview the people and feel sure they feel like the right fit. I've been reflecting on all my years of house sharing and how it was mostly a good experience and just so nice to have other people to chat to each day. I miss going to sleep at night knowing someone else is there. In the second last place I rented there were four of us and we'd all sit and chat at the table at breakfast before work, and then we could debrief on how our days went at the end of the day as well. I do really miss that now and appreciate how meaningful and helpful that was. I appreciate having a living space to myself, yet when someone stays which happens occasionally, something in me just lifts and transforms. The same when I stay with someone else. It's like just having someone else around is human support simply by their presence. At the same time as all that, I've got a self-protective instinct to want to be on my own as well, so there is a part of me that tends to withdraw away from others. Talk about contrary 🙄🙃  I think the key is finding the right people and no doubt you are looking for those people too who you click with.

Take care,

er

[randomxx]

Morng er , and thx as always for the thoughts and words. l hope you've been ok there, getting through. Feel a real shift in you lately and worry about you a bit so this is as good place as any to talk if it'll help ok.

lt might seem like l'm some into the internet person but not really at all actually, l'd much prefer RL, but at the same time, it does help me a bit with things l just don't wanna lay on anyone l can talk to in RL.  like stuff going on atm.

l'm a spacey person to, always been my curse, ex w never got it,she wasn't spacey at all,  gf ex she was but it was a kind what's good for the goose not for the gander with her and she'd take "my" space personally.But like ex w, we could still also be around ea other and exist mostly happily day in n out, which l can't usually do with just friends and tend to push away or just disappear if l have to once l've had enough. Unfortunately, company wise, l'm far more a partner person than the friendy type, the friendy matey types amaze me at just how much social they can handle and seem to need.

Do you have any family your close to, does that help ? For your spot, town, you just never know do you just how it'll pan out if you did stay. A real friend or 2 could make all the difference but does it happen in time, yaknow, my old town 4000 and nope, not one. Cept one sort of mate l knew before l even moved there, business, he had kids and w and family though so.

Here , most seem to have someone, and weirdly, it'd be quite nice if you did. Even old mate cross the rd lifted the spirits , 1 or 2 others about, especially if you became close, would make all the difference, in yours to. But like my old town, l know now we could be there 8yrs and nothin, so l don't bloody know. Here though there is becoming a lot more to it though, the distances to anything and all. l can see now that's gonna be giving me the shyts later on.

lf not for a few brothers and my d ofc to, sometimes l think atm l'd be just some lone someone no one knew exists. But same thing, can't lay too much on them but there is often a call or 2 a wk with the few l'm in touch with, same d. They all know l'm a bit stuck on all this to atm and deciding so we'll usually skim the latest and with their side and happenings to. One brothers only 15mins away we did see a lot of ea other normally but his gf's just moved up to his now so that's backed right off unfortunately, well, in that way anyway.

Here, atm, l know l've said it, but it's just the bizarrest setup. All my life l've been a privacy freak, here should be perfect but for some reason it;s very different these days and l really feel it. l mean the pubs round the corner, 50mtrs out the gate. l can see streets, houses,what few people, walking, driving, in and out, in their yards, 50mtrs over through thin trees and land, it's perfect, dream setup, even pretty. Yetttt, l've never in my life felt this way- so bizarre, the only word really, just bizarre ! Must be just that the town is so quiet small away from everything, dk, sometimes l think being on the main street instead is what you need in a place like this, can't explain it. Well, alone anyway, with a partner this place would be perfect setup, well, apart from middle nowhere.

At any rate, yeah. The sharing thing, just a thought really. As ya say yeah you'd  wanna meet them pretty good , choose wisely, even have a trial mth or two bc we know how share stuff can turn out wrong person right. ldk.

2 parts better send this one still don't trust it.

[randomxx]

Atm though tbh, l'm thinking just except it rx, your always gonna just feel plain weird out here. And then there's the distances. l'm really realizing lately that right now yeah sure that's ok but a few yrs down track will be getting on nerves.The other point on that l'm realizing to is that you can't build any sort of hobbies or life on top of it up in the main or other towns anyway bc they're 50k away and by the time you finish your stuff up there you can't be going back and forth for other things too. Your life, happy place, should mainly be where your at, not hrs driving away l don't live there l'd live here soooo.

Talking to brother other night, he's just bought a 15hect place. But he's married, and that's only 14k out of the nearest town of about 5000. Then he has a main about 45k away of 100000. But the only 14k away one plus being married, is a massive difference to out here. lf that was here it'd be fine.

Sooooo, l've gotten off backside and started scanning RE and what else l could do if l sold.  Gonna be a bloody challenge that's for sure. No units at all even close to what l could manage, let alone houses. Not for miles or near anywhere better anyway.

God RE in this country is just insane, just insane, it's criminal .

But at least l have faced the music and done some and realistic real scans now. 

Been thinking though well, it's either dress this place up a bit better and sell it or be stuck here.

And if l could sell it, l'll just have to go van or something for awhile while l scan for a new place- or rent soemthing meantime alternatively but vannings free and much much easier so that's my sole idea atm.

So, atm now, thinking l might have to go that way and just get out of here if possible.

lt'd take time to do more to it though and even if it does sell, that'd be awhile to, so. Meantime this place will still have the chance to perform some magic and change my mind if it's going to. 

So that's about the latest thoughts atm.

Take care er hey.

rx

[Eagle Ray]

Hi rx,

Yes, I think some of us are just more in that spacey or dreamy space. For me I found out it was dissociation when I was 35 and I learned what that word meant. Back in school I was totally unable to follow instructions and would do things back to front. I was like in a dream state pretty much the whole time. But I find some creativity flows out of that space too. I know it's also connected to my intuition. Maybe for you it is linked with your painting and that creative side?

I don't have any family close by. I have a brother in the city but only minimal contact with him. I have a cousin I can talk very openly with and we've shared a lot with each other just recently, and I caught up with another cousin while in Melbourne which was so nice. But unfortunately there's no one close by in person family-wise. Things could sort of pan out here but I think it would still have to involve me getting away fairly regularly. It's very confusing. It's so peaceful and right now I'm hearing the ocean roll in in the distance and there is a gentle breeze and so quiet - just beautiful. Yet, day-to-day, people-wise I still feel isolated, but it could improve at some point. I completely agree with you that even one or two people can really lift the spirits, like your old mate across from you. It's phenomenal how much something like that can make a difference. I'm glad your family members know you're feeling a bit stuck atm and that you do get to keep in touch with them.

I totally hear you about everything seeming perfect in many respects, yet there's something missing. I also get the bit about wanting to walk out onto a main street. The Melbourne suburb I stayed in was so peaceful in the street I was staying in, but I could walk to the main strip in like 2 minutes and it had a village atmosphere. The train was right there too. It felt like a big country town but with the advantage of the supermarket being open until 11pm at night. It was peaceful yet so convenient at the same time. Yet I don't know if I can really manage to get there or not. There are units available in that area from time to time, including very small ones that I would be fine with that are the only ones I could afford if I sell here. I do value my unit here though. It's just the maintenance due to its age that worries me and tends to stress me out about ongoing and future costs. I struggle with the garden too, more than I expected, yet I appreciate having it.

I hear you about the building hobbies thing too. There are things I'd really like to do in neighbouring towns where more is happening, but a lot of things are on at night and it means driving back with all the kangaroos on the road. I didn't realise how stranded and limited I'd feel here. I've learned a lot about myself anyway by moving here.

Maybe heading off in the van is the way to go, especially if feeling stuck atm. It might clear things up a bit or just give you a different perspective. I find every time I go elsewhere for a bit I see things a bit differently and it all sort of helps to put the puzzle pieces together - even if the jigsaw seems to be taking a long time to make a picture! 

Anyway, you take care too!